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Word Gems
What is a man but the sum of his thoughts?

Personal Statement #13

Love In The AfterLife

 

Part 1

The Troubadour and the Wedding Song:

What Is The Reason For Falling In Love?

 

December 19, 2008

Gladys was once my Sunday-afternoon Mom.

And she recently smiled a patronizing smile for me when I told her that I liked to walk in the old pastures and on the old dirt roads.

Well, my friend, what I didn't tell you was that, during those walks, I don't actually think about pastures and dirt roads... hey, I'm not quite that magoo-like... well, I see that you remain unconvinced...

But, it's true... at those places, I'm able to think more clearly about a lot of things, far from the noise and distraction of an artificial world.

On October 8th, I walked here, for a long time, on my favorite dirt road in the world, near Grandpa's farm, Tom's place, and where Ron grew up. And I am plugged into my iPod... hey, you can take asceticism too far, you know.

One song caught my attention, Petula Clark's The Wedding Song, and I have been listening to it, over and over, all afternoon.

And I am marveling at the words. The songwriter is either very wise, or has said more than he or she knows. The poetry here beautifully reveals an aspect of life and love.

One of my teachers, influential to my thinking, British philosopher-theologian, Dr. Leslie Weatherhead, discusses how the great poets of history have advanced civilization, have offered us glimpses of rarified forms of Truth - but not via the scientific method: 

• "Men discount the [poet-dreamer] as they discount their own dreams. They call him mad. He is mad, in a sense, as the lover is mad, who also makes his choice and arrives at conclusions, not by conscious argument, but by intuitions ... [The poet] is not sure of a truth because he has proved it [by logical argument], but because he has seen it ... The poet, inspired by some vivid experience, goes into a kind of trance ... and thereupon sees a vision which he expresses in poetical ideas... It is because of this different way of arriving at truth, we think, that the poet has so often led the way in expressing ideas which are among the most profound [and] cherished by mankind... Keats says that a poet should make a clean sweep of his personal hopes ... and beliefs...One does not so much want to learn what Browning's private opinions were. One wants to know what Browning saw in his hours of poetic vision... the poet ... exists not to inculcate ideas as a teacher, but to reveal reality ... All poetry, said Browning, is the problem of getting the infinite into the finite."

Well, we don't have many English professors who talk like this anymore... and we sorely need them now.

I like that phrase about Browning - that we don't so much care about his personal opinions - but we want to know what he saw!

Noel Paul Stookey, songwriter,

The Wedding Song (1971)

his web site

Noel Paul Stookey wrote The Wedding Song for Peter Yarrow's marriage to Marybeth McCarthy, the niece of Senator, and one-time Presidential candidate, Eugene McCarthy. Stookey's name is not credited as the songwriter; neither does he receive any royalties - because, he says, after he prayed, he was "given" the song; his only requirement that of allowing "the pencil to move across the page." Stookey says, "Into every songwriter's life comes a song, the source of which cannot be explained by personal experience." The royalties of the song go to a trust fund, Public Domain Foundation, and are distributed to the disadvantaged throughout the world.

• Editor's note, January 16, 2009: Only after finishing my article did I learn about Stookey's mystical experience regarding the origin of this song! apparently, this songwriter-poet, indeed, has given us more than he knows! This is extremely interesting to me! as I, too, feel that I was given some insights here, previously unknown to me. There are numerous testimonies from the Other Side indicating that books, music, and artwork are sometimes inspired by Ones, in their world, who hope to influence events here... could it be that our Advisors over there have a personal interest in the message of this song?

The writer of The Wedding Song seems to have seen something. While not in the same category as the work of Browning or Keats, this poetry is quite wonderful in its own right.

And I would like to use the lyrics of The Wedding Song as a basis for discussing:

• Love in the AfterLife... a state of evolved being... an advanced ontological destination... a cosmic and universal event... that final True Home of Love... a Home which, in fact, is a most special, romantic, and erotic relationship... due to a shared soul energy-life and sense of transcendent familiarity... with her... with that one Destined Person... that Darling One... that One! ... just for you... who has your name... your name alone... written on her heart and soul... and when you find her, and are finally with her... wherever you two are in the universe... you will be at Home!

Made you look!

Now you're interested. So am I. Lost my place. Distracted. So glad my name is written on her soul, as I seem to have forgotten it just now. And suddenly I understand why most accidents occur at Home.

Ok... stop that now... can't take you anywhere... we'll talk more about this later.

Let's start. I'll try to give you some things that you might not know.

Ready? Let's go!

• Editor's note:  Be sure to first familiarize yourself with the scientific evidence for the AfterLife - see my Personal Statement #3... hey, this is no pink-cloud pipe-dream here... it's the way it is - and you only hinder your own development by hiding from this reality. See Victor Zammit's December 5, 2008 report on a recent scientific test given to psychic, Michelle Whitedove, who won the title, America’s Most Gifted Psychic. In just many minutes, she finds a stuntman buried alive in a box underground in a huge 10 acre area! says that her spirit guides told her where to look! And Victor's January 16, 2009 report informs us that medium, Joseph Tittel, is tested to find a missing boy in 14 acres of desert - he succeeds in less than 5 minutes! Some of you reading this might be fundamentalists and have already "played the D-card," having called this "demonism." I understand and appreciate that position, as I once liked this game, too; unfortunately, this card is wagered ill-advisedly, every time one comes up against anything new and not understood. I wrote an article, some years ago, dismantling this position, having known it so well, and I will share it sometime, but allow me to say right now that there are severe problems with the D-card response... you really don't want to go there. Dr. Carl Jung once asserted that the knee-jerk accusation of fraud "is the last refuge of the ignorant and the uninformed" - an evaluation that I would slightly modify…  such response is prompted not so much by ignorance, though there is plenty of that, but fear... the fear that one's life paradigm might be wrong; that a lifetime investment in a particular philosophy or religion might be sadly wrong; that the teaching from one's dear grandmother might be completely wrong... such prospect millions find to be altogether disconcerting. I will simply say to you... your grandmother knows the truth now... she’s looking for ways to help you overcome the misguided advice of those old days… and she waits for you now, to catch up....

Petula Clark, The Wedding Song

He is now to be among you at the calling of your heart, rest assured this troubadour is acting on his part, The union of your spirits here has caused him to remain, For whenever two or more of you are gathered in his name, There is Love, there is Love, Well, a man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home, They shall travel on to where the two shall be as one, As it was in the beginning is now and till the end, Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again, There is Love, there is Love, Well, there must have been a reason for becoming man and wife, Is it Love that brings you here? or Love that brings you life? For if Loving is the answer, then who's the giving for? Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?

• Editor's note:   I like Peter, Paul, and Mary's version of this song... but, not as much after hearing Petula's rendition; the difference, I think, is that of a black-and-white photo to one with full color. Her clear and crisp voice and enunciation, plus faster tempo, give new life to this song.

He is now to be among you at the calling of your heart, rest assured this troubadour is acting on his part, the union of your spirits here has caused him to remain, for whenever two or more of you are gathered in his name, there is Love, there is Love:

The first thing I notice is that the influence of the troubadour is emphasized - right at the start - and this goes on for a few sentences... which seems odd to me.

This is a wedding song! and we would expect the focus to be elsewhere - the bride, her beauty, their day, or something like this.

But this wedding, this coming together of two, is no parochial event, not one of mere private and local interest - this union is immediately given a larger context, one of cosmic significance! and, we will find, rightly so.

this troubadour:

What is a troubadour?

The troubadour Perdigon (1190 -1212), an accomplished fiddler in his day. Fourteen of his love compositions survive. He travelled widely and worked for various wealthy patrons.

Wikipedia tells us that a troubadour - a term which seems to derive from "invent" or "compose" - was a composer and performer of lyric poetry during the Middle Ages. The texts of troubadour songs deal mainly with themes of chivalry and courtly love. Most of these song-poems were metaphysical, intellectual, and formulaic; also, at times, profane and erotic.

• John Welwood, Journey of the Heart: “The troubadour poetry of twelfth-century France taught that the romantic feeling between man and woman was a vehicle for connecting with the divine. The deep human urge to connect with something greater than ourselves – which had been the exclusive province of religion – now took a secular form… [now] fervent devotional sentiment [once issued only to God, was directed] toward his Lady.”

The troubadours were not wandering entertainers. Typically, they stayed in one place for a lengthy period of time under the patronage of a wealthy nobleman or woman.

Many of these love-poems are directed toward specific individuals, specific love-situations, with rare words, invented and unusual, colorful words, used metaphorically; and what a poem appears to be on its surface is rarely what is intended by the poet or understood by audiences privy to the hidden meanings.

There are songs of lovers as the dawn approaches; sometimes long didactic poems, teaching a moral or practical lesson; songs of a lover's apology; of a lover waiting impatiently for the evening. The messenger was commonplace in troubadour poetry, as many songs reference this go-between who will bring words of love to the intended ear.

But, who is the troubadour in The Wedding Song?

for whenever two or more of you are gathered in his name:

This, of course, is a passage from the gospels. Jesus is speaking:

"Where two or three people meet together in my name, I am there with them" (Matt. 18: 20, NIV).

The context of this verse in Matthew is not that of a wedding, but an occasion of a coming together of any individuals with a view to include Jesus. The writer of The Wedding Song, rightly so, has employed a general principle and has applied it to a specific situation, the marriage process.

Why is Jesus referred to as a troubadour?

this troubadour is acting on his part:

Yes, this particular troubadour. And what is he doing here?

Troubadours, as we have seen above, were not mere performers and entertainers - the good ones were also teachers. Think of their poetry and love-songs as artful teaching devices, employed to make clear important lessons.

Also, remember that these important principles were not necessarily meant for public consumption, as only those "in the know" would be able to understand the hidden message of the love-poetry.

In other words, the troubadour's message is a personal message, one created just for you!

the union of your spirits ... gathered in his name:

We are speaking of an idealized marriage here, the kind rarely seen in our world.

In Personal Statement #9 I discussed Mortimer Adler's comments about the various kinds of marriages that we commonly see - marriages of utility and convenience; marriages of mutual aid and comfort; marriages of business interest; marriages serving sexual desire and animal appetite; marriages with a focus on children and legacy; marriages of those too immature to understand what they are agreeing to; and many more.

But the union of spirits is different... it is a marriage primarily centered upon spiritual affinity... a desire of two souls seeking deep union... for no other reason but love... pure romantic love... and that's something most of us will not see in this world!  not the purest form of this ...

• So, what we are looking at in The Wedding Song is marriage in the ideal! We are, in fact, looking at Love In The AfterLife!

And so, we shall shift gears now, and focus on that soon-coming world. It is a real world - and the fact that some of us might refuse to think about it will not make it go away. 

And it is not far away. Just last night I received news from an old college classmate that her husband, while they were on a cruise, suddenly dropped dead from a heart attack. He was only 60. So, what we speak of here, is only the proverbial heartbeat away; and, even at its farthest point, is only a short span of years away!

gathered in his name:

Most of us are not going to see Jesus in the AfterLife - or, at least, not very much. I know this news will be shocking to some.

Dr. Michael Newton tells us, regarding his 7000 interviews, that not one of his clients reported seeing any major religious figure while in the AfterLife! and remember, Newton interviewed people representing all religions! And in the French Revelation, mentioned in an earlier article, a 20-year study representing thousands of spirit testimonies from the Other Side, not one of them reported being with or seeing traditional religious entities!

And many other reports, too, affirm this - it does make sense... because there are so many billions of us, and so few of him, Jesus will not necessarily be the one with whom we will have to deal on a day-to-day basis.

• But... what all of these testimonies do indicate is this... over there, we will interact with a personal team of advanced-soul entities... our Spirit Guides!

The teaching authority in the AfterLife is all about delegation, all about helping others to evolve and grow - the most advanced souls are always encouraging others to reach their own mature status; as such, whenever practicable and appropriate, duties and responsibilities for service are delegated to others, those capable enough for a particular duty at hand.

This means that in the AfterLife you will have a team of "middle-management" advisors - "helpers of your joy," as the apostle Paul used the phrase. They are not there to tell you what to do. In fact, you'll have to get used to the idea, essentially, that  no one tells you what to do in the AfterLife. You have total freedom!

But after the novelty of this wears a bit thin, and you start asking the question, "What's next?" and what's the purpose of this wonder about you, your team of advisors will be ready for you.

And regarding Jesus and "his name" - this means his authority, mission, status, and exalted state. You will find that many others, also, are part of this "Christ-office."

The apostle Paul spoke in terms of "until Christ is formed in you"; also, "until you reach the fullness of the stature of Christ." We can see even from these phrases in the New Testament that our destiny is to become mature and good, just like Jesus.

And your team of advisors work within that "name," that "Christ-office."

These advisors of yours, poetically expressed, act as "troubadours" as they artfully work with you to bring out the best in you!

rest assured this troubadour is acting on his part:

The phrase "rest assured" might imply an element of doubt - that is, an immature soul might doubt the advice, even the motives, of his or her guides.

At times, guides might suggest a harder road for us than we would choose; they might also suggest an easier one, because sometimes we are too ambitious in terms of the amount of suffering we take on when coming to the earth.

I am reminded of one psychic report where a guide was being called names, when she suggested a certain course of action:

"Well, if you think it's so easy, why don't you go down there with me and try it, and see if you like it!"

At this outburst, the guide, like the "ghost of Christmas past," opened up a window in time, created a vision for the immature one - who now witnessed his guide, many hundreds of years before, undergoing an extremely stressful and dangerous trial during a life lived in our world.

The point being: "I know it's not easy... I have been there, too."

These guides, these troubadours, are acting on their part - this means that no one is forcing them to serve as guide to your soul. They do so because they want to help; and permission to serve in such capacity is granted only after reaching a high level of outgoing love toward others; as such, only the more advanced souls are allowed to contribute in this way.

The guides, themselves, are overseen by even more advanced ones, typically, a council of elders.

caused him to remain:

Historically, as we have seen, the troubadour was not a road-show performer, but stayed in one place for some time.

And your team of advisors, too, remain with you, until you don't need them anymore.

But there are exceptions. If you don't want them, they will leave.

Dr. Michael Newton, mentioned in Personal Statement #3, reports to us a most intriguing incident. Under hypnosis, his client remembered standing before a council of elders.

Newton, formerly an atheist before his clinical psychology studies of the AfterLife, learned that a council might sometimes be composed of only one or two members; but at other times, with other souls, more than ten members. Newton discovered, over many years of comparing notes regarding his patients' testimonies, that the maturity level of a soul dictated the number on the council - a very young soul might have one or two; an advanced soul, more than ten.

It works this way - as a soul develops and grows, becomes more complex, more mature, the council becomes a team of specialists called in to serve regarding the specific areas of growth that the particular soul-person is pursuing - the more complex and developed, the greater the number of team specialists!

Newton tells the story of one soul-person who was advancing well, rather quickly; as such, a certain specialist was added to the council team. But the next time this person met with his advisory group, that particular specialist was missing!

What happened? Newton prodded his client to remember, and it was discovered that this person had decided to "turn inward" for awhile, to embark upon a life of hedonism and self-centeredness; as such, the council team specialist did not "remain" but took herself off of the team.

Our advisors are not sheriffs! they are not there to make us do things! or to tell us what to do - they only advise - to do otherwise would be to interfere with our sacred dignity, our personhood, our destiny - which demands total freedom to choose!

two or more:

This quantification, this insistence upon "two or more," bothered me for a time - why not just one?

Does this mean that there is no spiritual guidance for one person alone? I don't think anyone would believe that.

But I think I'm beginning to understand. We were meant to live in community with each other; meant to care about, and for, each other.

The phrase "two or more" quite likely means to emphasize the desire of spiritually-minded ones to live a life of service toward others.

When we begin to see ourselves as members of a community, a family, a brotherhood, or sisterhood - especially with a view toward rendering service as one is able, "this troubadour will remain"; that is, our team of Advisors will make themselves available to us in our altruistic efforts.

The troubadour will not remain with "one," however; that is, one who is spiritually alone; one who is not interested in entering into fellowship and community with others.

And even when there are "two or more," these must "gather in his name"; that is, with a purpose to further the "family business" of saving the world; of rendering service on various levels.

• John Welwood, Journey of the Heart: “In its final outreach, [romantic] love leads two lovers beyond themselves toward a greater connectedness with the whole of life… what Teilhard de Chardin calls ‘a love of the universe.’ Only in this way can love, as he put it, ‘develop in boundless light and power.’ So the path of love expands in ever-widening circles. It begins at home – by first … making friends with ourselves … As we come to appreciate this basic wholeness within us, we find that we have more to give with an intimate partner. Further, [lovers] will want to share their love with others. [Their coming together creates spiritual growth, an opening of their heart, greater honesty and vision.] These qualities are a couple’s ‘spiritual child’ – what their coming together gives to the world… From there, a couple’s love can expand still further… the more deeply and passionately two people love each other, the more concern they will feel for the state of the world in which they live. They will feel their connection with the earth and a dedication to care for this world and all sentient beings who need their care… This is the great love, and the great way, which leads to the heart of the universe.”

One who is spiritually alone does not "gather in his name"; this immature one is self-centered and has not yet figured out how the universe truly works!

"Two or more" finds specific application in The Wedding Song, of course, as it refers to two lovers, two spiritually-minded lovers, who now, together, will devote themselves to the "family business"!

These two - the union of their spirits - causes the troubadour to remain!

this troubadour ... there is Love:

Dr. Newton, over 30 years, collected accounts of the AfterLife from 7000 clients - there are so many wonderful stories, and I would encourage you to read his books.

But, I think, the most moving story of all is this one.

I said that our advisory team acts like a troubadour at times, employing various artistic devices to make a point, a point that only we might understand. Consider this:

One of Newton's clients, under hypnosis, remembers standing before a council of elders. One of the members is wearing a large gold medallion with something inscribed upon it. Early on, thinking that council members were just like so many self-important authorities of our world, Newton made the assumption that a large gold medallion would be some sort of indication of rank - that the person with the big chain would be the head-honcho of the group.

Such assessment would be exactly wrong.

Newton asks his client to mentally step forward to get a better look at the face of the medallion... and, can you see what's on it?

There is a carving, a depiction of a struggle - a bear is attacking a young woman - the bear has been speared; the woman has been mauled, to death... and an infant lies quietly, a few feet away!

Newton had assumed that the medallion was "all about" the council member - in fact, it was "all about" the shy woman standing before them!

The council member begins to speak - the essence of his words is this:

• "Do you remember when you showed this kind of courage? Do you remember when you saved your baby? and lost your life for your efforts? We want you to keep this image in your mind - this is the real you! this is what you are capable of! Sometimes you are too hard on yourself, and you forget the real you - that hero that you are!"

This council member, as a troubadour, used an artistic teaching device, and that of a most personal kind, to encourage a young soul to continue along the path of exemplary fortitude already manifested in her young life! How inspiring! And how wonderful to see the graciousness of these council members!

But let us not forget that we are looking at the words of The Wedding Song. At the very heart of these lyrics is the exquisite love of only two!

We will now shift gears again and bring into sharper focus these two lovers.

as it was in the beginning ... woman draws her life from man and gives it back again ... the union of your spirits:

The songwriter-poet directs us to the Genesis account, "in the beginning." The reference to woman drawing her life from man is a poetic allusion to the love between Eve and Adam:

• Genesis 2:18, 23, 24: And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him... Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore ... they shall be one flesh [or, one person, TLB].

"One flesh" is an archaic Old English term that means "one person" - we can see this from the context, as "bone of my bones," etc. indicates these two derive from the same source... effectively, "one person"!

Here, in this ancient literature, we catch a glimpse of the original intent of marriage... a coming together as ... one person!  By the way, there was no marriage ceremony for these two in the Garden; no magic words to make things "official." They simply came together on the basis of their natural affinity for each other! The traditional marriage ceremony of today is a man-made invention - I'm not saying it's not without purpose, but just keep in mind that it's an artificial contrivance.

• Editor's note: The very best treatment of the Genesis account, I think, is offered by Dr. Gerald Schroeder. There is no one who can match Schroeder's credentials; possibly, his wisdom, as well. He is a Hebrew scholar, and will teach us about the hidden meanings of the original Hebrew text - English translations are often very inadequate; worse, quite misleading. Additionally, Schroeder is a M.I.T. physicist! and explains the biblical creation story in a manner that conforms to modern cosmological understanding. His books include Genesis And The Big Bang, The Science Of God, The Hidden Face Of God, and others. Word Gems readers have asked me if I believe in a literal existence of Adam and Eve. Allow me to offer a word of advice here regarding "beliefs" - as we grow as educated persons, we should have fewer and fewer "beliefs"; rather, we should accept and flow with the evidence as it comes in. Such intellectual position acknowledges that the possession of absolute truth is a most rare commodity in this world; that what we hold as "truth" should be held lightly in our hands, pending possible modification as we learn more. Regarding Adam and Eve, I have learned from Hebrew scholar, Dr. Schroeder, that traditional translations of Genesis, and the story of Adam and Eve, are inadequate and misleading. You must read Schroeder to find out what the Hebrew text actually says about Adam and Eve... it's different from what you've been led to accept...

The coming together of Adam and Eve, in terms of original Divine intent, represents an ideal, and as we've discussed, something not often seen in our world.

• Dr. Adler, mentioned above, spoke of all of those other reasons for marital union... all of those inadequate reasons for union... but these words in Genesis speak of an ideal... a union of equals - a union of spirits - a deep union of souls. And this describes the Reality, the manner in which marriages are consummated in the Next Realm. 

There is romantic love - yes, erotic love - in the AfterLife, but of the highest grade, without the base alloy of mere animal desire. Among mature souls, romantic love is not rooted in animal instinct.

Over there, they know how to have real fun, and they go straight for the good stuff!

Cult religion will often employ verses, like this one in the Genesis account, in an attempt to subjugate women. They will, for example, grossly distort the meaning of "help meet" to indicate women as permanent members of a servile class, for the benefit of men, of course. The original Hebrew paints a much different picture regarding the archaic English term, "help meet."

• The original Hebrew for "help meet" indicates lovers intrinsically complementary, lovers very much alike, equals - the term opposite sameness has been offered as a synonym.

The Genesis account presents to us a view of a relationship of soulmates bound by natural law ...

... just as a proton and neutron, in the atom's core, are bound together by natural law!

... just as the magnet and iron filings are bound together by natural law!

the two shall be as one ... woman draws her life from man and gives it back again:

In the Genesis story we see Eve being created from a portion of Adam's side. And from this metaphor is derived the view that woman draws her life from man.

In a sense, this is true, a principle that has application in the Next Life, too. But we are looking at an extremely abbreviated concept in Genesis - because the truth seems to be that man, too, draws his life from her... just as much, and equally so.

In the Next World, there is no such thing as "male domination" or any of that error. Over there, a natural equality exists. The only currency by which we - male or female - elevate ourselves is by our service-mindedness, our goodness, our charitableness - and those who assume leadership positions there, do so by a very natural process, as it is so obvious to all who the ones of stellar character and fine spirit are!

With all of this in mind, consider this teaching example:

Elsewhere I have used the analogy of tuning forks to describe the energy-interplay between soulmates - please allow me to speak of these things once again here.

Tap a tuning fork. It begins to vibrate. This vibration is not just any old vibration but a very specific one, with a specific frequency - you can set a tuning fork to emit any specific musical vibration.

And that vibration sends out energy, and will sound like humming. And if you place a second tuning fork nearby, and if it is calibrated to the same frequency as the first, that second fork will begin to hum and vibrate in harmony with the first!

• Silver Birch: "But the two halves instinctively, because they are two halves , must recognize one another. That does not happen in your world always because your vision, regarding things of the spirit, is often blind ... but the real love is so magnetic, is so overwhelming in its attraction, that it must find itself and claim itself, when once you have got rid of the imperfections of the earth which were the deterrents to recognition."

Some on the Other Side tell us that when most of us were created, we were given a certain specific energy signature. You might say that our essential core essence, our soul, is vibrating at a certain musical frequency, possesses a certain energy aura, which makes each person unique!

But there’s more.

I do not have full information on the following, but, it is said by some, we were created with someone else; or maybe that initial individuality was somehow divided, I’m not sure. But the important point seems to be that most of us have a “matching tuning fork,” so to speak, somewhere in the universe, one calibrated to our specific energy signal.

• And when such complementary two find each other, they will experience a sense of harmony and attraction, a sense of "being at home" with each other, a sense of familiarity, previously unknown in life.

This energy reverberating and bouncing between the hearts of two equally calibrated is very life to them - and when once they experience this interplay, and are then apart from it, it will seem as a kind of death! so stark will be the absence of this mutually echoing life between their souls!

In this picture we see a literal representation of what was thought to be mere poetry - "woman draws her life from man, and gives it back again"! But her lover, too, sends the same life, the same bouncing energy signal, back to her as well!

• Silver Birch: "... there is the love, the undeniable love, between man and woman who are complementary to one another; that is, they are two in form, but one in purpose - they harmonize. They are indeed ... two hearts that beat as one. Now, where that love has found itself, there is never any separation. Those whom the natural law has joined by love can never be sundered in your world or in mine."

And this process also gives new meaning to other poetic proverbs, such as "she is his life," or, "he is her life" - because in this interplay of energies, each receives life from the other.

• So, what does it mean for two lovers to become "one person"? especially, since individuality is retained?

I think AfterLife entities use the term "one person" as metaphor to indicate the wonderous closeness of two lovers  within the ideal soulmate relationship!

• You cannot get closer to a lover than to become "one person" with her!

This is the ultimate in closeness! This concept is built into certain phrases we use, and taken for granted! We speak of lovers wanting to be alone - but, logically, it's hard to do that, isn't it? One person can be alone, but how can two persons be alone in any meaningful sense? And yet, we accept this kind of talk as reasonable - and we do so because we intuitively see these two as "one person"!

• Silver Birch: "Some of you will discover that you are affinities. Although you are two people you are two halves of one individuality. When that happens in your world, it brings with it a richness that cannot be measured in terms of material wealth."

Notice this from Silver Birch - "two people... two halves" but "one individuality"!

These two are "affinities," ones so close that they are defined by their cosmic bond... so close that they are viewed as one individuality... one person!

This "one person" will, as Silver Birch said, make "two hearts beat as one"! ... two lovers, one purpose; two lovers, one reverberating energy; two lovers, one attitude of service; two lovers synergistically operating as one power-punch unit; two lovers, one life... with each seeing the other as his or her source of life!

Imagine being so in tune with her, enjoying such closeness of spirit! imagine the erotic love, the high-tempo passion of such a union!!

Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again ... Well, there must have been a reason for becoming man and wife:

I would like you to notice how these two thought-segments are closely positioned in this song - apparently, not by accident.

This "life," drawn from her lover, and given back... this life, bouncing between these two hearts... has something to do with the reason for becoming man and wife!

There is a very important principle here, and I hope I can make it plain.

All of your lives you have heard churchmen quote this passage from Genesis... about how Eve was taken from the side of Adam, and then they became man and wife.

But think about this!

Why is this information about woman's origin of any value to us? What is the point here? Why was Eve made from Adam's body?

Adam, and all of the animals (Gen. 2:19), were made "out of the ground." Adam then surveys the various life forms - but realizes that none of these could be a "help meet," the Hebrew indicating, "one like himself."

Adam's tour of nature, apparently, engendered a sense of aloneness within his heart, as God comments, "it is not good for the man to be alone."

Genesis states that all of the living natural world was made from the dirt of the ground... except for Eve! Why is that? And why the delay regarding her coming - why not make her at the same moment as Adam?

What is the Genesis writer attempting to say by all this?

And notice the first thing out of Adam's mouth when he lays eyes on her... the first thing on his mind... when he sees her naked female form...

He might have said many things... but, in effect, he says... ["I named all the animals, and realized that they were not like me; but,] she is just like me! she is me! in another form!" He literally says... "She is of my own flesh... she is of my own bones." She is my own body... she is me! in another form!

• Before I go on, ask yourself this: Does this sound like someone who will need to spend the next 50 years becoming "one person" with his lover?

Adam had named all the animals (Gen. 2:20)... names indicating essential function... and, in this process of nomenclature, Adam realized that he was quite unlike them.

But now, as he meets Eve, he also names her, and by this naming he acknowledges and understands that Eve is so mystically familiar to him.

Eve was not made from the dirt... she is not a separate creation, as such, as Adam and each animal were separate creations. Eve is part of Adam, made from his own body - all of this is meant to underscore their intrinsic connection! 

He calls her "Woman" ... he is "Man." The transliterated Hebrew might be rendered "Isha" and "Ish" for these two; essentially, "She-man" and "Man"! The Hebrew itself reveals Adam's perspective of his new mate -"she is just like me... a mirror image of me... a she-man ... more than that, she was made from my own body... she is me!"

Aretha Franklin, You Send Me "Darling, you send me, Darling, you send me, Darling, you send me, honest you do, honest you do, honest you do, oh-h-h-h, you thrill me, Darling, you thrill me, Baby, you thrill me... yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..."

I think it is clear that a careful and honest reading of the Genesis account reveals a transcendent connection between Adam and Eve. These two were made as one person... were constituted, within their own bodies and souls, so as to require deep union with each other... they didn't have to spend the next 50 years trying to become one person! such distinction was built into the program, right from the start!

But, when this Genesis passage is quoted, often at weddings, or in a sermon about marriage, the general sense offered by churchmen is one of essential separation of these two. The typical message from the pulpit will go something like this:

• "Eve was taken from the side of Adam [a bit of useless information, don't you think? but let's move on]; however, now these two must go through life endeavoring to become one flesh, one person. This is the goal of marriage, the goal of every couple entering into this sacred institution. And these two must work on their marriage; and work hard every day to become one person. Two persons who once lived independent lives, must now learn to harmonize, and come together; and they must strive to do this with their utmost effort every day of their lives so as to come into closer and closer harmony with each other... so as to eventually, maybe after 50 years together, have grown spiritually enough to become one person."

The traditional view implies that Adam and Eve are thoroughly separate... utterly individual... with no meaningful nexus joining them. And since these two are so divided, according to the teaching in most churches, they must spend the rest of their lives trying to become one person!  expending a lifetime of herculean effort ... a lifetime of huffing and puffing, of groaning and straining, in order to make something work ... apparently - because of the superhuman effort required - something that was never meant to work!

You know... I grew up as a farmboy working all the time... but this kind of talk, this traditional view of marriage, makes me break out in a cold sweat just contemplating the effort involved.

Well, we can hardly wait for this kind of marriage, can't we? This reminds me of the old joke about marriage as an institution... and you always wanted to live in an institution, didn't you? it's sort of like that.

I have already indicated, but allow me to be explicit... I think the traditional view is all wrong.

I think such interpretation is a gross distortion, not only of the Genesis account, but of the Reality of the true meaning of marriage - the true "reason for becoming man and wife." If you marry the wrong person, one with whom that "life" does not bounce... then, of course, you will have to strain-and-groan and "work" on your marriage... to create life... where there is no life...

• the Indian poet, Kabir: "It is the intensity of the longing that does all the work."

Marriage, itself, was meant to carry two lovers... rather than these two constantly trying to prop up a corpse, a lifeless relationship. Yes, of course, there will always be things to be negotiated, details of life to be worked out and through... but, if two share a deep heart-connection, they will ever be able to return to that hidden well-spring of their love, that soul-energy that they share... a life that they share... a force that is never very far away, always ready to be drawn upon, when required... and to do so is not "working" on their marriage, implying an infusion of energy into the marriage from their external personal resources... rather, they derive energy, and life itself, from the marriage... from their union of souls... it's a very big difference, wouldn't you say?

• ...hey, the proton and neutron don't have to "work" on their marriage... and neither do the magnet and filings! these do not have to work at becoming one person!

Let's fall back to our tuning fork analogy. Adam and Eve are two equally-calibrated tuning forks! The poet would have us know that "life," an energy, is being sent, one to the other, and "back again" ... why? ... because this life and energy is a common one - they share the same life and energy... the equal calibration makes it so... yes, they are two people... but, in a sense, one individuality! and if they attempt to live separately, and stifle that bouncing life, they will only hurt themselves... as such, their shared energy and life effectively packages them as a single unit... functionally, they are one person.

And this is why in Genesis 5:2 both of these lovers are called "Adam"! because, from one perspective, they are the same person! they are one person!

These two were brought together by God not to become "one person" -because they already enjoyed that status! and that's why they officially became man and wife! ... merely an acknowledgement of the Reality of what and who they are on the inside!

When you find that particular one... who was made just for you... who is walking around as a veritable part of your own body... who is your body... your own soul... when you find her... that one! ... you will be so slammed by the "life" ... by the soul-energy emanating from her heart... you will be so drawn to her... so "familiar" will she be to you ... so "at home" will you be with her... that you will never again be asking academic questions about why two might want to marry!

Charles Dickens, David Copperfield: The "one person from birth" concept, in principle, is a theme often addressed by the great authors. David has grown up with Agnes. She has always been more mature, ahead of him. He goes far away, becomes accomplished, a man of the world, marries another. But finally grows up. He comes back later in life. He now sees everything. Calls Agnes his "guide" of his youth. He remembers her affection of so long ago, that time when he could not see who she was to him. He speaks to the adult Agnes, but hears the voice, sees the eyes, of that little girl, the one he'd left behind... and, in that moment, he mentally refers to her as his "child-wife," so strong, as he now perceives it, was his sense of attachment to her then, a kind of marital union, even when they were children! - and it is that little girl, that same tender voice, the one that had spoken to him so long ago, who speaks to him now, and reassures him, that all is well, that he has not been forgotten - and he sees that his own insensitivity had caused "the Blossom to whither in its bloom"; meaning, he understands too well that they would have, and should have, easily fallen in love, and would have been together all this time, but for his blindness, his immaturity. She begins to weep, cries deeply. He is afraid to ask the reason... She cannot speak, her heart is "so overcharged" ... but, finally, as the weeping subsides, she wants him to know something, too ... wants him, at last, to know... "I have loved you all my life!"

The David-Copperfield phenomenon is not unique; indeed, in principle, it might be said that all lovers are subjected to this dynamic; in that, for each lover, there is always a process of progressive revelation in play. However, Dickens presents to us a special variety of lovers' enlightenment, that of those who know each other early in life, but then, temporarily, go separate ways.

It recently occured to me that Elvis' You'll Think Of Me speaks to the psychological state of mind of these two during that separation. The message of a song will strike different people in different ways... but, this one might be the saddest song I've ever heard. This is so, for me, because, just as a diamond is best featured on a black background, so, too, the saddness presented to us here is incredibly stark, given what these two had... and gave up.

Elvis, You'll Think Of Me

I'm sorry now girl, but I must leave you
There's something deep inside my soul keeps calling me
The winter wind, girl, will not deceive you
And in your cold and empty bed, you'll think of me, oh, yes
You'll think of me

You'll see me coming, you'll see me going
Don't ask me why... Just like that outlaw wind keeps on a-blowin'
Yeah, in your cold and empty bed, you'll think of me, oh, yes
You'll think of me

Now I know you loved me just like I wanted
I know you'd follow me across an endless sea
But, Baby, I've got a heart that's haunted
Yeah, in your cold and empty bed, you'll think of me, oh, yes
You'll think of me

Ah, but you should know, girl, that I'll be crying
Out on that lonely road where not a soul can see
I'll shed my tears for a love that's dying
Yeah, in your cold and empty bed, you'll think of me, oh, yes
You'll think of me

The summer sun, girl, will bring a stranger
And he'll be better to you than I used to be
And when he takes you into his arms, girl
Well, in your warm and loving bed, you won't think of me, no, no
You won't think of me

Then in your warm and loving bed, you won't think of me, no, no
You won't think of me

Why is he "sorry" because he "must leave"? When two part, they might say many things, but apologies are not usually forthcoming. But this David Copperfield "knows" something... he "knows" that his Agnes has "loved" him; he knows that she loved him "just like" he "wanted"; he knows that she would have "followed" him to the ends of the earth... she offered everything she dared to, came as close as she dared to, offered herself as much as he would allow... He "knows" - if not consciously, then subliminally - that he is turning his back on the love of his life... and he knows that she will grieve for him, always grieve for him... "in your cold and empty bed... you'll think of me." Yet, despite this troubling knowledge, he feels he "must leave." "Don't ask" him why. He can't tell you. Can't tell himself. Pathologically, like the moth to the devouring flame, he is drawn away... "haunted" ...a beckoning of "something deep inside" ... the deepest part of him... his "soul" is sending him away. He "knows" full well that their love is no unilateral effort... he will match the intensity of her grief. And when he uses that little word "Ah" ... that pregnant little word "Ah" ... he would have her know that he will be crying, too.

All of this dialogue and interaction, for most of the David Copperfields of the world, takes place on the subconscious level... that would have to be true, wouldn't it... because if these dull little boys truly understood the magnitude of the destruction, to themselves, and to their lovers, that will ensue from their departure, they would act otherwise. But, dullness, spiritual and psychological dullness.. blindness... and its defeat... is what this song is all about... is what Dickens is attempting to highlight...

When this David speaks of "Ah, but you should know," he means to say that he will pay for his crime of insensitivity a thousand times over... and more... every day... he will get away with nothing... he will die for his Agnes every day... weep for her... every day. There may be a period of time, initially, when he, temporarily - but only seemingly and apparently - forgets her. But, as he grows as a person, as his vision strengthens, a day will come, when he shall see what he did... and did not do... and he will choke and gasp as his soul serves up for him the spectacle, within his own heart, of what he lost... and he will be brought face-to-face with the vision of that one absent person... that one person, the only one he ever truly loved... and the horror... of what happened... by his own hand...

Dickens is kind to his David and Agnes... David is allowed to return to his Agnes... wiser, with vision, not too worse for wear... she is still waiting for him... still loves him... always has... "the summer sun," a time of carefree romantic love, is to be theirs... he is a "stranger," in that, he is no longer the dull little boy, the blind little boy... and now, in that "warm and loving bed," she will no longer think of that former version of him.

This is a beautiful sentiment... sold a lot of books for Dickens... the reality, however, for most who enter this process, will be quite different... Agnes will be married... when David finally sees who she really is to him...

She was right to marry... a very natural consequence... it's what happens when certain dull little boys... do not speak... at the right time... causes certain little girls to run off... and change their names... thereby creating the Perfect Storm of Ultimate Suffering in this world... she needed to have a life of her own... who could know how the hell long it would be before this David would wake the hell up... no indication that he would return any time soon... yes, of course, she will still love him, will always love him... and they will be together later... but... if they were to immediately and summarily reject the current life that she leads, many would need to be hurt in order for these two to be happy... but... in this case, they would not be happy... as such cavalier disregard for the feelings of others would rob them of their joy... even though... they might be destined to spend eternity together...

No life event, of such importance, occurs by chance. We know from large numbers of AfterLife testimonies that we plan our trip to this world; we decide, in advance, what lessons we want to learn; and how much suffering we are willing to endure to reach our developmental goals. And we can be assured that a life mission involving this kind of trauma and suffering will have been discussed by these two lovers before coming to this world... this world which is another world's hell... And we can see these two now, on the Other Side... in each other's arms... weeping... as they contemplate the ordeal to which they are agreeing... he does not want to leave her... nor, she, him... but he has some issues... there's this element of insensitivity that is holding him back... not only does he desire to love her more, but he senses that he cannot reach out to others, to the degree that he would wish... as they pursue their humanitarian efforts... and so he decides that 70 or 80 years of trauma might be just the trick to soften those areas of hardness in his heart. Those with a deep heart-connection sometimes do not come to the earth at the same time... they're together a lot in the realm that is their True Home, and they might mutually decide to learn something new, apart from each other, temporarily have other mates in this world.... or, a variation on this theme... she might come at the same time, and they might briefly know each other... limited contact... but just enough to awaken his memories of her... just enough to heighten, and stir, his sense of loss of her... a little later in life, when he begins to wake up...

At this point, in the planning discussions, an Advisor will be cautioning these two against the hubris of taking on too much suffering, of being too ambitious for growth, in a short period of time... but the choice is left to them... and sometimes, he will decide to be brave and go for it... but was he pushed or did he jump... well... as he looks into her sparkling eyes ... those eyes, which forever haunt him, wherever he is in the universe... and that fervent Bright-Spark spirit, that he loves so much, and can never forget... and as he contemplates the prospects of being able to love her more deeply... to receive her erotic passion more completely.... contemplates a greater awareness and intensity of the fullness of her Sweet Being... under this narcotic... and as she looks into his eyes... he really has no choice... but to commit to the plan...

One of my Word Gems readers just sent me Bonnie Raitt's incredibly beautiful song You...

How poetic, how beautiful... "When you came back, I felt the beating of my heart" ... his life revived when she returned.

Each is the life of the other! And if they were to doubt this, just try taking it all away and see what happens... you really don't want go there.

When that life stops bouncing between these two, when it is no longer mutually drawn and sent "back again" ... isn't this a definition of death?

Sounds like death to me... a cessation of that echoing "life" ... and it will feel like death to those who suffer this calamity... those, the walking undead, who will often wish for their departure from this world... in the absence of her Unique Echoing Life.

And when she is away from you, you will grieve... and more than grieve... as you will miss her, as you would miss your own life... for, indeed... it is the same thing.

All of this brings a picture to mind of my Grandpa Becker, THE GRANDFATHER, who, when he lost Grandma, immediately retired as general manager of the universe... as he had no heart for anything anymore... essentially... just waited to die...

Eve was made while Adam was in a deep sleep, a kind of death (Gen. 2:21)... a symbolism, I think, referring to Adam's profound sense of aloneness... without her... he had looked out on the world and had seen nothing for himself (vs. 20) ... without her... God himself was troubled by Adam's condition, this sense of loss, sense of incompleteness (Gen. 2:18)... without her... the delay in Eve's coming may have been a purposeful lesson, one designed to heighten Adam's awareness of the emptiness of existence... even in a Paradise Garden... without her!

As it was in the beginning is now and till the end:

In the Genesis account we are looking at Divinity's original legislative intent, the original purpose for marriage... the ideal marriage... a purpose that will find expression hardly ever in this imperfect world... but will do so commonly in the Next Realm, for all eternity... but only among soulmates!

Well, there must have been a reason for becoming man and wife, Is it Love that brings you here, or Love that brings you life? For if Loving is the answer, then who's the giving for? Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?

As I walked on that dirt road, these words, especially, bothered me - and I asked myself, what is the poet trying to say? I have thought about these words, the questions raised here, for two months, and suddenly, just a few days ago, I believe I understand. And I will share it with you now. See if this makes sense to you...

Well, there must have been a reason for becoming man and wife:

In the AfterLife, when once we find our soulmates - which is not as easy as one might hope - two lovers, if they wish, can enjoy a wedding ceremony, a grand wedding party, much like the ones here on the earth, where large numbers of friends will gather to share the joy of these two who are now ready, who are mature enough, who have finally found each other; two who may have literally been made for each other, have always been destined for each other, and will now continue together through time!

• Silver Birch: "There are many here who look forward with joy to a celebration which will duplicate the one you have in your church, but which will be sanctified in our world by ties we regard as more enduring, for the promises uttered audibly by word of mouth are as nothing compared with the unspoken pledges of the soul."

But, what is the reason for becoming man and wife?

We might guess that the answer is love - a good guess - but, everything in the AfterLife is motivated by love; at least, among mature ones, so what is really happening between these special two?

The poet gives us two possibilities:

Is it Love that brings you here? or Love that brings you life?

On the surface it would appear that these two questions are somewhat equal. But are they?

The little word "or" tells me that we are looking at different questions... two different kinds of love! 

The choice is one or the other!

Is it Love that brings you here?

The very highest form of love is that of sacrificial love; service-oriented love; the love that lays down its life for another - and the AfterLife literature is simply filled with admonition to grow into this kind of other-centered love.

Well, this is hard to disagree with - we must all accept this, as the sentiment expressed here is patently and obviously true, almost self-evident.

And I think that in the first question we are looking at this highest and most excellent form of love. In the New Testament, the Greek word for this kind of godly love is agape.

But, if this love is of such high moment, why are we even debating the possibility of another kind of love? Why not just surrender to this highest form of love?

What is the poet telling us?

Is it Love that brings you here ... for if Loving is the answer, then who's the giving for?

This kind of godly love is so universal in the AfterLife, especially among mature souls, that it is the way, the normal and common mode, of interaction among all souls who live there.

• Silver Birch: "The greatest love is the love that has no trace of selfishness, that does not seek in any way to perform any action because it will bring some satisfaction to the individual. That is human love in its greatest aspect. It is the spirit that has enthused all who desire to uplift mankind, to help the needy, to sustain the weak, to fight the vested interests that prevent the unfortunate from extracting the beauty that life could offer them."

But, if that's the case... if agape-love is so common among mature souls... how can this universal principle also be the reason for two soulmate individuals to come together in a cosmic marriage?

Think about this!

Because all of this altruism begins to beg the question, "then, who's the giving for?"

Do these two come together merely to serve each other? Is that what this is all about?

Is this what marriage is all about?

Why not serve someone else? why not marry and be with someone else, who might need the benefits of service more? ... "who's the giving for?"

And if agape-love is the purpose of marriage, and if, in this life, you had a less than satisfactory marriage, maybe you should just stay in that unhappy union, even in the Next Life, for all eternity, for the purpose of serving that other one! ... sounds like a form of hell, doesn't it? ... well, you always wanted to live in an institution...

Is this what marriage is about? simply to serve a particular needy other?

Yes, that other person might require certain aspects of service and charitableness... but should this service be rendered within a marriage to that person?

The ethical problem here might manifest itself a little more clearly if we substitute the word "selflessness" into the text:

• Is it selflessness that brings you here? ... for if selflessness is the answer, then who's the selflessness for?

Something strange is going on here... what is this love that brings even advanced souls together in special union? Is it selflessness alone?

Because if it is, maybe we should simply avoid all romance and just make oneself available, like a sainted Mother Theresa, to serve anyone and everyone, everywhere.

I'm not saying that would be wrong... we need more selfless serving... I'm simply asking, is that what marriage is for?

Many churchmen will tell you just that! that marriage is primarily a creature of agape-love!

Is that the way it works?

or Love that brings you life?  ... Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?

And what about this second option, this "Love that brings you life" - this second form of love.

The poet asks the question, "Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?"

What is this that we have never seen before? Finding one's soulmate is a mark of spiritual advancement, of having sufficiently lived in the light, to have begun to reduce fears, allowing one to recognize one's soulmate.

But how can it be said, among these more advanced souls, that they would not be aware of all kinds of love? how is it that they could have not "seen" this before?

I am starting to get on your nerves now with too many unanswered questions. ... hey, I will try to wrap all of this up as we progress.

I have asked these many questions because there is almost universal confusion regarding this issue - "what is the reason for becoming man and wife?"

When the poet refers to a kind of love that we have "never seen before," he must, I think, be speaking of the second-option version of love - it cannot relate to the first option, agape-love, because this kind of selfless love is well known, highly regarded, and generally acclaimed; hardly, something "never seen before," as advanced souls speak of little else.

I think the tuning fork analogy will help us again:

Imagine a room full of tuning forks, a few thousand of them - but if only two of them are equally calibrated, and if one of these begins to hum and send out harmonic energy, that second one only - the one matching the calibration of the first - only that one will respond.

This means that the other thousands of tuning forks will all remain silent! yet, to the casual observer, all forks might appear to be identical! but only two will sing and dance in this harmonic interplay of bouncing energies!

This "love," this "life," between these two equal tuning forks, will be of the sort "never seen before" - in that, only these two will be able to access the specific frequencies emitted from themselves, their own souls - none of the other forks will be able to "see" this! none of this "life" applies to them, and it will never apply to them... they will never see it! ... because only these particular two share an equal energy calibration. The other forks have their own calibration and will potentially see that which relates to them... but will be forever blind to what these two are experiencing.

• The love between soulmates is different in kind from other loves, not merely a difference of degree. It's all about a thing called natural law. Most importantly, the special person for you will possess a unique spark of life, a complementing energy, one that matches your essential vibrational essence;  and, when you find her, if you are ready to receive, you will instantly recognize and resonate with her life-force as with no other - because it will be like meeting yourself in another form; and you will experience a level of certainty previously unknown. The two of you will see something that no one else in the entire universe will see - it's never been seen before!  It's just for you two! If all of this begins to sound more like a lesson in physics than romance, I suggest that you're on the right path.

This kind of love brings two souls an awareness of life! In the mutual harmonic interplay of their own souls they will experience an ecstasy of life and love previously unknown to them... and each, in a sense, is incomplete when absent from the other - and they feel this, painfully feel this, especially, when once they have become aware of this life, found mutually and only in the presence of the other.

• Silver Birch: "...the real love, that only comes once to each man or woman, whether on earth or in the world of spirit ... in the fullness of time, each finds the half of its own being."

The phrase "only comes once" is often used by AfterLife entities in reference to the uniqueness of the love between soulmates! They tell us that when it happens to you it will be so different that you will not be able to confuse it with something else.  

And, when this happens to you, it will be "something that you've never seen before."

reason for becoming man and wife:

Let's talk more about this question of whether marriage should be based on selflessness, on agape-love.

Please do not misunderstand.

Selflessness, outgoing concern, and all manner of altruism is necessary in terms of how two relate to each other on a day-to-day basis within marriage... the need for this will be constant... seeking the highest and best for her will never end... a joyous burden.

But... this is to be the standard of conduct for all of our dealings with everyone in life! a maturing soul will desire to seek the highest and best for all.

So, again, the question remains, what is the reason for becoming man and wife?

Philosopher Mortimor Adler will finally help us here. It was he who finally taught me that a romantic and erotic relationship is not meant to be entirely selfless! ... it's ok to expect to receive something from your lover.

This is so because we human beings are social creatures. We were designed to live in community. We have a psychological need to interact with others. And the very highest expression of this need to enter into relationship manifests itself in romantic and erotic love!

How do we know it is the highest? Why do we know it is so important? of first importance?

• We know this because this kind of relationship, between two, is referred to as becoming "one person"! You cannot enter into a closer and more intimate relationship than to become one person with her! There's nothing more intimate!

You were made to need her! ... you were made to want and need to become one person with her!

See, Divinity could have designed us to exist without romantic love. We could have been made as stark solo-creatures, never needing or desiring to see another person. But that's not who we are! not how we're made... we were made to yearn to become one person with a lover!

The reason for becoming man and wife has to do with how we are constituted... deep within... as social creatures.

And the reason for two particular souls, two social creatures, for coming together is a function of their essential-core energy resonating in a mutually harmonious way... they feel "at home" with each other... they recognize each other... as their soul energies artfully blend with each other... as with no one else.

This part, this much, really has absolutely nothing to do with agape-love. It's just the way things are! ... a matter of physics ... not theology!

It would be like saying the magnet has sacrificial love for the iron filings... that the proton and neutron high-mindedly love each other in the nucleus... no, it's just the way things work, naturally.

Romantic love, even in its highest form, is part of natural law - according to Silver Birch, is part of the essence of Divinity itself... a force that helps to hold the whole universe together!

Well, a man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home, They shall travel on to where the two shall be as one:

We have two ideas here, purposely, I think, juxtaposed by the poet.

These two lovers leave their ancestral homes. But there is more here. In the Next World, we do not have our parents' homes to leave.

I think the parental home here is a symbol - a symbol of the most elemental relationship that we know in life. And, despite its importance, it is abandoned in favor of the relationship with a soulmate.

The extended point here is that every prior relationship, beginning with the most fundamental, is to be set aside in favor of the soulmate union... every prior relationship of this world, not built upon the Ultimate Reality of two who share one harmonized soul-energy life, will be relegated to secondary status.

"the unspoken pledges of the soul"

If two people owned a property jointly, and if one unilaterally tried to sell it, the other could bring legal action against the first... because the property rights of the second would have been violated.

Silver Birch, referenced above, uses the phrase, "the unspoken pledges of the soul"; and he explains that people, of our world, agree to all sorts of things; enter into all sorts of marriage agreements and relationships, but do so only in their blindness - lawyers would call this "lack of capacity" to enter a contract, rendering such agreements null and void. 

And in those ill-conceived agreements, our deepest selves, our souls, are not asked for their opinions... and like the fraudulent sale of real estate, such agreements, entered into without the consent of one's higher self, one's soul, will be set aside in the future.

Because "the unspoken pledges of the soul" will eventually trump all other testimony... and only those agreements, which include the input of the senior partner, one's higher self, will prove to be dispositive regarding future plans.

Notice the words of the poem: These two leave their parental homes and travel "to where the two shall be as" one person!

That is, they leave every other relationship in order to give expression to, to outwardly and publicly manifest, to display to all, that which has been the Reality, in their deepest selves... all along.

Those earlier places of relationship were mere temporary dwellings, preparatory stages, places to learn lessons... until that Destined Cosmic Love-Partner finally arrived!

They shall travel on to where the two shall be as one:

This sentence could be seen as a summary statement of the entire future of these two lovers.

These two shall "travel on" - a poetic description of their continuing activity, on into the unending future. These two lovers are in motion; they have purpose; they are service-oriented - over time, will be involved in all manner of projects to help the disadvantaged.

But there will always be plenty of opportunity to enjoy, not only each other, but a mind-boggling diversity of recreational adventure.

I hesitate here even to mention some of this, as some of you will consider the following information as too fantastic to be credible - but it is documented and scientifically obtained. Dr. Newton is a respected scientist and his books feature summaries of thousands of under-hypnosis testimonies; therein, we find soul-persons engaged in amazing exploits and exploration, of the kind that would rival anything Captain Picard ever did or thought about!

• According to these accounts, soul-persons in the Next Realm can enjoy such activities as time travel; exploring the vast universe; exploring other dimensions; visiting other intelligent beings on far-away worlds; training for new opportunities to serve, including designing and creating new forms of life, and practicing such skills on special "field-study planets"... plus other things!

Just a word to the cynics... let's try to stay humble here and admit that we do not know very much - we possess hardly one grain of sand's worth of knowledge among all of the sand on all of the beaches in the universe - this is how Dr. Einstein explained our pathetic lack of knowledge!

• Werner Karl Heisenberg, physicist: "Not only is the universe stranger than we think, it is stranger than we can think."

• Sir Francis Bacon: "Facts often appear incredible only because we are ill informed and cease to appear marvelous when our knowledge is extended."
  

But, humor me and consider these exciting possibilities for a moment...

Imagine sharing these "super-hero adventures" with your darling erotic lover, your very own heart energy-specific soulmate! ... that sweetheart special-one with whom you interact so closely as to be functionally "one person"!

Hey, you always liked that cute Supergirl... well, if you want to, you can enjoy these amazing exploits with your own twenty-something Supergirl! your own erotic, ready-for-action, soulmate-lover!

• Editor's note: a huge body of AfterLife evidence indicates that each of us will be able to manifest as any age!

• Editor's note: See P.S. #14, 19 for the AfterLife exploits of Elizabeth Fry and friends.

A parting thought for you to consider:

Given the adventure and excitement of these amazing activities reported by Dr. Newton... plus, the prospects of sharing all of this with a darling only one...

• have you ever entertained a more romantic or erotic thought than this?

this troubadour ... is now to be among you at the calling of your heart:

I will tell you flatly that you will not find your true one-and-only soulmate until you have seriously begun your journey toward spiritual maturity... until you begin to endeavor to live in the light... until you are ready to seek the truth... in all its forms... especially in the scarriest place of all... the hidden recesses of your own heart... until you are ready to do that... you can just forget about finding that Darling Cosmic Lover!

Because, when you live in the dark, you will see nothing of true worth... a total black-out... a perfect cloaking device... which means that... you will also not see her!

But, if you decide that you are ready to embark upon this journey, you will have dedicated your life to service, to other-centeredness; and to courageously following the truth wherever it might lead. You'll have to let go of a lot of stuff from the past that you thought was real... it will be a frightening process... of course, it will be... that's why you've been avoiding it.

But you will soon discover the perks.

Because as you continue on this path, your spirit will open, more and more, with fewer and fewer fears... and you will become aware... truly sentient... a human being of the highest order... aware... of all things... all good things... which process will eventually include an awareness of ... her! ... she comes along with the goodie-package... she's been waiting to deliver your goodie-package...

And, later, when the two of you mutually dedicate yourselves to high-minded selflessness and service, large numbers of more advanced entities will warmly welcome you to the "family business," that of rendering aid to a troubled world.

And these AfterLife entities - these troubadours, these teacher-advisors as artists - will work closely with you as new members of this close-knit family service-team... and they will literally always be as near as a thought away ... always available to you... to both of you, as one person... at the calling of your heart...

And these words, my friends, are no mere poetic device... but the way the universe really works!

reason for becoming man and wife... restated, one more time:

This beautiful song is not about the troubadour; not about the nature of love; not primarily about the various kinds of love; not about a review of biblical texts.

All of these issues are merely ancillary to a central question posed by the poet:

• "What is the reason for becoming man and wife?"

I have stated that the traditional answers given by churchmen are misguided, utterly lacking in any self-evident and intuitive appeal - and you have to take notes, buy study guides, listen to sermons, attend retreats... and work hard to approach that version.

Again, I'm saying that all of this misses the mark.

Silver Birch, an ancient AfterLife entity, on the Other Side for 3000 years, tells us that true romantic and erotic love, in its highest form, is part of Divinity's own essence and power! part of the very essence of what the universe is all about!

• He states emphatically that "the real love is so magnetic, is so overwhelming in its attraction," that we will not be able to miss it when we finally see it: "the real love, that only comes once to each man or woman, whether on earth or in the world of spirit..."

Think about this!

If the good stuff, the real romantic love, is so devastating to one who finally finds it, one would think that this would have a little something to do with the "reason for becoming man and wife"!

We are not talking here about an infatuation with a pretty face that lasts a short time - but, a permanent condition! one lasting all the way into the unending future! such exquisite passion is the force behind two as one person! a state of being... for eternity!

Do you think that this might have anything to do with the "reason for becoming man and wife"?

Alright, my friends, you must forgive me, but I cannot be a nice guy about this any longer. Please allow me to use some earthy language - or the threat of it - right now, so that no one will misunderstand.

You wanna talk about the reason why two will become man and wife... you wanna talk reasons for getting married...

• how about, they will ******* die with heartache if they don't!

• how about, they will ******* go crazy with grief if they don't!

• how about, their hearts will be ******* torn out every day with unending sorrow if they don't!

• how about, they will be so ******* out of their minds with tears, pain, misery, and distraction if they can't be together - so much so that their own spiritual development will be seriously jeopardized!

Steve Gunn, UK psychic, When Two Souls Connect:

When someone you have a deep connection with suddenly pulls away, the disconnect leaves you feeling as if your soul has left your body, like an empty shell. You just can’t get back to reality... [this is] not a conventional emotional relationship. A soul connection is the most powerful soul-level connection with someone and when separations like this occur you just can't "get over it" or "move on" however hard you try... we feel our partner’s grief and confusion and they feel ours... creates a tsunami of pain as the energy flows across our spiritual link and bounces each of us around like two corks on a string... you miss your partner every minute of the day... a torture of aching and needing... the pain of separation doesn’t lessen... feels as if your heart will burst out of your chest and fly to your true partner... 
[It] is a relationship beyond anything you will have experienced before. If you fight it, or try to stay apart, the pain, anguish, and confusion, will show you just how special this bond is."

 

That sounds like a threat... take it as such.

I have used the analogy of the proton and neutron in wedded bliss within the atom's core - allow me to press into service this picture one more time. Natural forces keep these two atomic particles together... and if we separate them... what happens? Massive amounts of chaotic and uncontrolled energy are released... it is a dangerous situation... and, without safeguards, no good can come from it!

This is what Silver Birch means by "so magnetic" and "so overwhelming"!!

• And, as mentioned in earlier articles, this is why there is a special area of Summerland reserved just for lovers with grieving hearts - a honeymoon-world where lovers can heal themselves of the bitter pain caused by separation from each other while in our world... this pain can be so intense that it can lead to a kind of personality disintegration.... therefore, nothing else happens in terms of their other developmental goals until they find healing with each other!!

It's as Elvis told us, there really is a Special Person with whom you "can't help falling in love" ... can't help but to marry.

Aren't all of these nifty little reasons for marriage? ... didn't they talk about these reasons for marriage when you attended that weekend retreat?

Well, these are the reasons for marriage that our cosmic Advisors talk about! and these are the reasons that naturally come into play when that Destined Person finally comes into view.

• When you find that Special One, the time for choosing will be over... the time for an emotionless weighing of debits and credits of one girl versus another... will be so over... because this discovery will be a one-time event, in this world or the next, and you will be so slammed, so permanently slammed, that you will have no choice but to be with her, or to plan to be with her, at the earliest possible time... and if you are required to wait for her, maybe wait a long time, in order to be with her, then you will do that... as your deepest self will allow you no choice but to do whatever you have to do... to be with her... as it will be inconceivable to entertain any other option!

Elvis, I Can't Stop Loving You "I can't stop loving you, so I've made up my mind, to live in memory of such an old lonesome time, I can't stop wanting you, it's useless to say, So I'll just live my life, in dreams of yesterday... They say that time heals a broken heart, But time has stood still, since we've been apart..."

Summary

Allow me to attempt to summarize the entire song-poem for you. Here is the complete text of The Wedding Song once again:

"He is now to be among you at the calling of your heart, rest assured this troubadour is acting on his part, The union of your spirits here has caused him to remain, For whenever two or more of you are gathered in his name, There is Love, there is Love, Well , a man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home, They shall travel on to where the two shall be as one, As it was in the beginning is now and till the end, Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again, There is Love, there is Love, Well, there must have been a reason for becoming man and wife, Is it Love that brings you here? or Love that brings you life? For if Loving is the answer, then who's the giving for? Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?"

I offer this expanded paraphrase:

"The high-minded altruism of two soulmate lovers will cause advanced AfterLife entities to become involved in their lives and humanitarian purpose. These Advisors and Guides act as troubadours in that they employ all manner of artistic teaching-device toward and for the benefit of those learning the family business, the rendering of selfless service. This agape-love makes the universe work; even so, this kind of love is not the primary reason for the marriage of soulmates. These two come together as an expression of a natural interplay of personal energies, ones unique to themselves... in a sense, they come together just as a magnet and iron filings come together; just as a proton and neutron come together... as an expression of natural law; in other words, its just the way things are and were meant to be... because we, made in the image of God, are so constituted, within our deepest selves, as to require this kind of union. Soulmate lovers, these erotic lovers, while retaining individuality, experience the closest of all relationships in the entire universe, a relationship so close as to functionally become one person. To that end, they each leave all other prior relationships, as to do otherwise is unthinkable to them... so overwhelming, so magnetic, is the sense of oneness that they share, the interference with which becomes a kind of death to them. Their spiritual bond is a result of a common soul energy, a shared vibrational essence and signature, a unique and sweet energy-force which is very life to them... as each mutually becomes the other's life. And it is this union of spirits that is the reason for their official coming together in a cosmic marriage; indeed, the truth is, they have been one person, essentially, since their creation, and their wedding is now merely a formal acknowledging, and announcement, of this Reality. Their utmost passionate affinity is simply an extension of the common life that they share... something never seen before! ... it's just for them! And all of this exquisite wonder is the way Divinity always meant it to be, even from the beginning."

One final exegesis:

there is Love, there is Love:

This echoing refrain greets us twice before the later discussion on the nature of love. And I think that this couplet serves as poetic foreshadowing of the two forms of love.

The universe is designed for love... the first kind... the Mother-Theresa kind, of course, and we shall always be growing in that sort. And in marriage, too, without a doubt, there will be sacrificial love between mature souls... this will be true, without question.

But the universe is also designed for romantic love... that second kind of love... and the energy rippling and coursing through the vast Cosmic Realm shares commonality with the passion between deeply-bonded soulmate lovers.

And the essential essence of this True Romantic Love, while expressing itself to others as high-minded and other-centered altruism, for these Particular Two, will also be carnal, sensual, erotic, hot-chemistry, steamy, convulsive-gasping, and breath-stopping flesh-on-flesh.

• This kind of love... this sense of one person... this harmonic interplay of energies... this awareness of soul-connection... this deep union on all levels: body, soul, mind, and spirit... is everything that your heart yearns for... has ever yearned for... you were created to yearn for this... a life of unique and special love with that One Darling Erotic Lover... who has your name... your name only... written on her heart and soul! ... and all of this is the reason for your cosmic marriage... so glad, again, that she knows my name, as, once more, just now, I seem to have forgotten it...

• And when you are finally with her... and when you see the magic in her sparkling eyes... and hear that cooing tone of delight in her voice... a singular delight expressed just for you... when you sense that transcendent familiarity... a sense that she is so much like you... that... she is you... you will know, at long last, in Union with her... that you have Arrived... at your Destination... your True Home... that True Home of Love... do this, or die...

The poet, exploring the reason for marriage, has asked, Is it Love that brings you here? or Love that brings you life?

The answer seems to be this:

Two lovers come together as a result of the latter question - in order to devote themselves to the former. Stated another way: Their cosmic marriage, their love for each other, is a natural Home for them, from which they reach out to express a Mother-Theresa kind of love... for the entire universe.

I have asked you to consider the following words; but, now, in closing, must do so once again...

• John Welwood, Journey of the Heart:  "At such times [of intense romantic love], something vast inside us connects with something vast in another. The other person’s sheer existence awakens us to the ordinary magic of life… When we are loved in this way, we feel acknowledged, seen, nourished, held… [we] rejoice in another person’s very existence… It is saying yes to another’s being … In its final outreach, [romantic] love leads two lovers beyond themselves toward a greater connectedness with the whole of life… what Teilhard de Chardin calls ‘a love of the universe.’ Only in this way can love, as he put it, ‘develop in boundless light and power.’ So the path of love expands in ever-widening circles. It begins at home - by first … making friends with ourselves … As we come to appreciate this basic wholeness within us, we find that we have more to give with an intimate partner. Further, [lovers] will want to share their love with others. [Their coming together creates spiritual growth, an opening of their heart, greater honesty and vision.] These qualities are a couple’s ‘spiritual child’ - what their coming together gives to the world… From there, a couple’s love can expand still further… the more deeply and passionately two people love each other, the more concern they will feel for the state of the world ... They will feel their connection with the earth and a dedication to care for this world and all sentient beings who need their care… This is the great love and the great way, which leads to the heart of the universe.”
  

Imagine reveling in this kind of passionate and erotic gift from her... her gift of sheer delight... just to be with you! ... a star-bursting joy... that of simply exulting in your presence! ... and imagine this kind of overflowing love... so much love... all spilling over into... love for all humankind.

I have stated that finding one's soulmate... finding her... is more about finding yourself first... but... in the final analysis... it's also about finding everyone else, as well.

And this is why the "troubadour will remain"!

Because, as we said earlier, this marriage is no mere local event... but a union of cosmic significance... as so many will be benefited by the collateral effect of their romantic love... their union of spirits.

And this is why the "troubadour will remain"!

Hey, now... sounds like a pretty good reason to get married... tonight! ... wouldn't you say?

Well... you know... I do see your point... and you are so right... and when you're right, you're right... how very silly of me... it's so obvious to me now... I mean, why even delay things so much... this day really has too many darn hours in it... way too many... and long engagements are just too hard... [smile]

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