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Personal Statement #10
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November 30, 2008
It is 1966, and I am 15. I've received a package in the mail. I know what it is - it's a book! My collection is growing, as I send away for all of the free introductory offers... but this one is different, I have purchased this one. And what is the topic that makes this 15 year-old so excited? Is it a Hardy Boys adventure? or a Nancy Drew? Maybe a spy thriller? Of course, not! that's not what 15 year-olds read! It's Engelmann's new bestseller, Give Your Child A Superior Mind. This is very interesting to me today. There I was, hardly out of the playpen myself, and I'm reading early childhood development literature. How did this happen? Where did I get this idea? No one around me is talking about such issues. I have a theory, one supported by AfterLife research, regarding our deepest interests, interests which might even define our lives and work on the Other Side, but in this world might not be given much expression; nevertheless, these deepest desires can poke through the fog of our daily lives and offer clues to our essential natures. This topic of education, the best methods, would become a lifelong pursuit; eventually, I earned a K-12 teaching certificate, but, as fate would have it, circumstances conspired to disallow much time in the classroom.
Husbandman is an Old English term that we've forgotten. We see it in the Gospel of John, chapter 15, where God is referred to by this metaphor. It can be used as a verb. At one time people spoke of "husbanding" a garden or animals; the term, of course, survives today as partner to a wife. The husbandman is one who gently offers care and nurturing; whether tending to plants, animals, a wife, or children.
(2000) my beautiful children, Sara and Joey
Before Joey was born, I determined that I wanted to do the best possible job regarding his education. I read all sorts of books on early childhood development and diligently prepared for his coming. I speak in Personal Statement #8 of those Lions who did everything in a "hell-bent way" - and so it was with me. To my credit, I did many things correctly; but, if I had kept just one principle in mind, that of the husbandman, I would have done much better... for these two. By age 12 months or so, a little game we played, Joey could pick out the photo, on a chart, of any President that I would name; or I could point to an image, and he, in a squeeky voice, would tell me the President's name. At age 18 months we started reading. I was startled at how quickly he picked it up. I thought that the process of teaching a child to read would be a long and arduous one; but, I found that 95% just made sense to him, and it was only certain sticking points, certain stumbling areas, that needed sorting out; after that, the child just ran with it and taught himself! By age 5, Joey was a real reader! probably reading at an 8th grade level! I remember taking him to the office one Sunday afternoon, catching up on my stockbroker work. Joey is playing at the computer terminal, financial information on the screen. My assistant happens to be there, too, and she stands aghast, witnessing this 5 year-old reading the computer screen! My children are not especially gifted - but here's what I found - all normally healthy children have far more ability than we give them credit for; and they can achieve remarkable success, in any subject, if we will allow them to progress at their own rate, along with offering proper guidance to help them over the sticking points. They do not need to be taught everything, only those things that trip them up! Benjamin Bloom, one of the most influential educators of the 20th century, famous for his "Taxonomy of Educational Objectives," something that all teachers used to learn, presented important research in his book, All Our Children Learning, wherein he stated emphatically that all normal children, with so-called average intelligence, can achieve A's in any subject, if only they could be given the individual tutorial care needed to help them over the rough spots! In my view, our educational system today is terribly misdirected toward an assembly-line approach to teaching; exactly what you don't want to do with kids - an approach that says, "You better learn this today or you'll miss it and fall behind, because this train is moving on." Little wonder many fail to excel and are simply pushed along in the grade levels! out of sight and out of mind, a process helpful to administration, not to children. Read Cradles of Eminence - case studies of the early education of 400 famous people of the 20th century. The vast majority of these "geniuses" simply were ordinary kids who either had private tutors or were home-schooled! I helped my kids in many ways; but, I also created some problems, too. And while all of my studies in this area were a good thing, if I had just been less hell-bent, and more of a true husbandmen , things would have been better. I was too demanding, often impatient, and I forced things that didn't need to be forced; and sometimes I would fall into old harsh patterns of discipline, ones that had been used on me as a child. This was the saddest thing of all, and where I caused the most damage. I recently made a new friend, an older lady, a Mrs. Bree, and I was discussing these things with her, and she encouraged me with, "When we are young, and we have these little children, no one issues a manual to us and tells us how to do these things, we just have to do the best we can." She's right, of course. But some of us seem to have more of an intuitive sense of how this process should work, and I am thinking of one of these enlightened beings right now.
Aunt Mag and her brood of Valedictorians My Mom's older sister, Magdelane, was one of those non-flashy, non-self-promoting people who I didn't think about too much while growing up; but, now, as the light of a little more maturity shines upon me, I realize that I had been in the presence of an advanced soul.
I didn't think much about these things in those days; but, Aunt Mag's kids are so smart! Why was it so? Aunt Mag's family really had no money, no substantial resources to buy their kids a lot. Uncle Andy had a farm with old machinery, plus the little grocery store in town. And Uncle Andy is not one of those Lions (P.S. #8) that I speak of - no machiavellian tactics going on there. But three of my cousins, Aunt Mag's kids, take top honors in their senior class... and some of them they call "Doctor" today; so, what's in the water over there at Aunt Mag's? What's going on? Actually, not much, and that's the secret! It would take decades for me to understand Aunt Mag's quiet genius regarding raising and teaching kids... hey, I know I'm as smart as Linda, of course! but, see, I have some of this baggage that I drag around with me, all that stuff in my spirit, especially, in past years, that weighs me down, having been around those Lions too much... and that's the difference! Aunt Mag was an unassuming sort, somewhat quiet. She would never be one to shout at the kids, "Don't make me come up there." And yet, if one were to think that she had no backbone, one would be quite wrong. Things ran well in her household. There was a discipline there; but, like very soft background music, of a fine and subtle nature, never obvious. There was a lightness of spirit in the atmosphere, a non-judgmental air that one breathed in her house, a sense that everything's ok. Along with this, there were lots of books, comics, and games around, too - with encouragement, and ample time, to use them!
Albert Einstein once advised us:
But most of us don't really believe Einstein, do we? What did Einstein know about it anyway? We're gonna make this kid sing and dance by age 3 whether she likes it or not. Well, you can do that, and the child will sing and dance by age 3. But there is a right way and a wrong way of doing this. One can easily hurt and discourage that tiny child; and, in that little sensitive spirit, she will not be singing and dancing... In Aunt Mag's house there was this sense of freedom for children - not a wild sort of crashing about, but a sense of acceptance, and approval, and permission to be oneself and to have good fun... even to watch make-believe movies on a darkened window! This was that power of imagination, that gift of fantasy, of which Dr. Einstein spoke, but so often stifled in kids in favor of getting on with immediate results. It took me a long time to learn that children have such a natural desire to please a mentor. They just love to do that; and if you do your job right in terms of providing a positive atmosphere, kids will just rise and shine, and grow like plants that have plenty of rain and warm weather! There's just no need to force anything! Aunt Mag had a close relative, Betty Sperle - and these two were so much alike; and they call some of Betty's kids "Doctor" today, too! Betty lived across the lake from us, about a mile away as the fish swims. Their farm was not a picture postcard; the buildings were old, and the house was modest. And Pete, like Andy, was not a ND Lion, but a humble spirit. And I remember our family visiting them, from time to time, and there was that same atmosphere over there in that crowded little house, just like at Aunt Mag's. Betty is a jovial, wonderful person, and if you try to get too polite with her, she will laugh and playfully snap at you, "Don't be so formal with me!" And this is the whole aura of acceptance that one experiences while in her house.
And I remember, so long ago now, her firstborn, Paula, had just started school; and Betty is telling us what happened! Paula was to find photos in magazines depicting letters of the alphabet, "A" gets you a picture of an apple, that sort of thing. Well, Betty is excited and laughing, as she says, "guess what Paula did for the letter H?" So, I'm wondering - what? a hat? a horse? what? And Betty shows us a photo of someone with her hands over her face, indicating "hide"! Wow! This tiny tot, little Paula, chose an intangible verb ! not a noun! for her H! This is high-level abstract thinking for a little tyke, this is hot stuff! Congratulations, Betty, you are brilliant! and you did just the right things to help your kids blossom into advanced persons!
Aunt Mag is Still With Me... About 10 years ago, just before Aunt Mag died, I visited her. This dear and tender spirit so warmly welcomed me; and she made me cry, as she cried and laughed, and said, "Wayne, you were always like one of my own." There can be no higher compliment from a mother. Last year I was visiting with Norma, one of my psychic friends. She always tells me things. And now Norma says: "There's someone coming through for you... I feel a mother's [soul] vibration... but not your mother... it's your mother's sister... Magdelane." This was quite moving to me, as Aunt Mag had once told me that she loved me as her own son - and now she was sending a message that indicated the same! How wonderful! But wait! There's even more!
Aunt Mag, it was a most high honor to have known you in this life; and, Dear Heart, I shall see you again.
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