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Word Gems
What is a man but the sum of his thoughts?


 

Personal Statement #10

How To Raise A Crop of Valedictorians:
 
What Aunt Mag & Betty Sperle
Knew and Most of Us Don't
 
 


 

 

November 30, 2008

 

It is 1966, and I am 15. I have received a package in the mail - I know what it is - it's a book! My book collection is growing, as I send away for all of the free introductory offers... but this one is different, I have purchased this one.

And what is the topic that makes this 15 year-old so excited? Is it a Hardy Boys adventure? or a Nancy Drew? Maybe a spy thriller?

Of course, not - that's not what 15 year-olds read. It is Engelmann's new bestseller, Give Your Child A Superior Mind .

This is very interesting to me today - there I was, hardly out of the playpen myself, and I'm reading early childhood development literature. How did this happen? Where did I get this idea? No one around me is talking about such issues.

I have a theory, one supported by AfterLife research, regarding our deepest interests - interests which might even define our lives and work on the Other Side - but in this world might not be given much expression; nevertheless, these deepest desires can poke through the fog of our daily lives and offer clues to our essential natures.

This topic of education, the best methods, would be a life-long pursuit of mine. Eventually, I earned a K-8 teaching certificate, but I don't work in that area today.

 

 

"A child is a person who is going to carry on what you have started. He is going to sit where you are sitting and when you are gone, attend to those things which you think are important. You may adopt all the policies you please, but how they are carried out depends on him. He will assume control of your cities, states and nations. He is going to move in and take over your churches, schools, universities, and corporations. All your books are going to be judged, praised or condemned by him. The fate of humanity is in his hands."  Abraham Lincoln

 

 
 
 
The Husbandman as Teacher:
My Own Children

Husbandman is an Old English term that we've forgotten. We see it in the Gospel of John, chapter 15, where God is referred to by this metaphor.

It can be used as a verb - at one time people spoke of  "husbanding" a garden or animals; the term, of course, survives today as partner to a wife.

The husbandman is one who tenderly and gently offers care and nurturing - whether tending to plants, animals, a wife, or children.

 

 

(2000) my beautiful children, Sara and Joey

 

 

Before Joey was born I determined that I wanted to do the best possible job regarding his education - I read all sorts of books on childhood development and diligently prepared for his coming. I speak in Personal Statement #8 of those Lions who did everything in a "hell-bent way" - and so it was with me...

To my credit, I did many things correctly - but if I had kept just one principle in mind, that of the husbandman, I would have done much better... for these two.

By age 12 months or so, a little game we played, Joey could pick out the picture, on a chart, of any President that I would name - or I could point to an image, and he would tell me the President's name.

At age 18 months we started reading - I was startled at how quickly he picked it up. I thought that the process of teaching a child to read would be a long and arduous one - but, I found that 95% just made sense to him, and it was only certain sticking points, certain stumbling areas -that needed sorting out; and, once sorted out, the child just ran with it and taught himself!

By age 5, Joey was a real reader! probably reading at an 8th grade level! I remember taking him to the office one Sunday afternoon, catching up on my stockbroker work - Joey is playing at the computer terminal, financial information on the screen - my assistant happens to be there, too, and she stands aghast, witnessing this 5 year-old reading the computer screen!

My children are not especially gifted - but here's what I found - all normally healthy children have far more ability than we give them credit for - and they can achieve remarkable success, in any subject, if we will allow them to progress at their own rate, along with offering proper guidance to help them over the sticking points - they do not need to be taught everything, only those things that trip them up!

Benjamin Bloom, one of the most influential educators of the 20th century, famous for his "Taxonomy of Educational Objectives," something that all teachers used to learn, presented important research in his book, All Our Children Learning - wherein he stated emphatically that all normal children, with so-called average intelligence, can achieve A's in any subject - if only they can be given the individual tutorial care needed to help them over the rough spots! 

In my view, our educational system today is terribly misdirected toward an assembly-line approach to teaching - exactly what you don't want to do with kids - an approach that says, "You better learn this today or you'll miss it and fall behind - because this train is moving on" - that's what you don't want to do.

Read Cradles of Eminence - case studies of the early education of 400 famous people of the 20th century - the vast majority of these "geniuses" simply were ordinary kids who either had private tutors or were home-schooled!

I helped my kids in many ways - but I also created some problems, too. And while all of my studies in this area were a good thing, if I had just been less hell-bent, and more of a true husbandmen, things would have been a lot better.

I was too demanding, often impatient, and I forced things that didn't need to be forced; and sometimes I would fall into old harsh patterns of discipline, ones that had been used on me as a child, and this was the saddest thing of all, and where I caused the most damage.

I recently made a new friend, an older lady, a Mrs. Bree, and I was discussing these things with her, and she encouraged me with, "When we are young, and we have these little children, no one issues a manual to us and tells us how to do these things, we just have to do the best we can." And she's absolutely right, of course.

But some of us seem to have more of an intuitive sense of how this process should work, and I am thinking of one of these enlightened beings right now...

 

 

My Aunt Mag and her Brood of Valedictorians

My Mom's older sister, Magdelane, was one of those non-flashy, non-self-promoting people that I didn't think too much about while growing up - but, now, as the light of a little more maturity shines upon me, I realize that I had been in the presence of an advanced soul.

 

 

(1956) Another one of my ubiquitous birthday parties - didn't I just have one of these last year at this time? And see Aunt Mag, her dear self, center top. But the real action is brewing below. With top-student Donna hovering over me, and future valedictorian Linda beside me, hey, some of this brain-power has got to rub off on me... and speaking of things rubbing off - Linnie, see what you've done to my cake? My sweet cousin Linda, one of my guides until I would leave home, has just tested the viscosity of the frosting  - see it on her hand? I am attached to Linda. At age 3 I cry when she leaves, so she's allowed to spend the night. Linnie is the one in my life who leads me into interesting adventures - at her house, we sit in a dark room, alone, in front of a large window; and, as we peer into the dark nocturnal abyss, she instructs me that we are to pretend that we are at the movies... well, that was a really exciting scene, wasn't it, Linnie... is it intermission yet? ... this little girl, one year my senior, seems to have a thing about doing stuff in the dark with me! and her leadership abilities prompt her to organize a certain clandestine activity for us when we're upstairs away from the parents - a real fun little educational game, one sure to stimulate young minds, and she calls this recreation "kissing in the dark"... well, I just do whatever Linnie tells me to do, that's the way it works -and, anyway, at least it's better than going to the movies with her! hey, now, this is what valedictorians do, and I can't help it if you don't know how great minds work. (Ok, Linda, when you find this, give me a call - ha, ha, ha!)

 

I didn't think much about these things in those days - but, Aunt Mag's kids are so smart!

Why is that? Aunt Mag's family really has no money, no substantial resources to buy their kids a lot - Uncle Andy has a farm with old machinery, plus the little grocery store in town, and they're not making any money, and can't do a lot of things. And Uncle Andy is not one of those Lions that I speak of - no machiavellian tactics going on there.

But three of my cousins, Aunt Mag's kids, take top honors in their senior class... and some of them they call "Doctor" today - so, what's in the water over there at Aunt Mag's? What's going on?

Actually, not much, and that's the secret!

It would take me many decades to understand Aunt Mag's quiet genius regarding raising and teaching kids... hey, I know I'm as smart as Linda, of course - ha! - but, see, I have all this baggage that I drag around with me, all that stuff in my spirit, especially in past years, that weighs me down, having been around those Lions too much... and that's the difference!

Aunt Mag was an unassuming sort, somewhat quiet - she would never be one to shout at the kids, "Don't make me come up there" - ha! And yet, if one were to think that she had no backbone, one would be quite wrong. Things ran well in her household. There was a discipline there... but, like very soft background music, of a fine and subtle nature, never obvious. There was a lightness of spirit in the atmosphere, a non-judgmental air that one breathed in her house, a sense that everything's ok. Along with this, there were lots of books, comics, and games around, too.

 

Albert Einstein once advised us: 

  • "Imagination is more important than knowledge...When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge."

 

But most of us don't really believe that, do we? - what did Einstein know about it anyway - we're gonna make this kid sing and dance by age 3 whether she likes it or not... well, you can do that, and the child will sing and dance by age 3 - and, I think, there is a right way to do this skilfully, so that the child will be able to sing and dance by age 3 - but, if you're not careful, you can easily hurt that tiny child, in her spirit, and, in that little sensitive spirit, she will not be singing and dancing...

In Aunt Mag's house there was this sense of freedom for children - not a wild sort of crashing about, but a sense of acceptance, and approval, and permission to be yourself and to have good fun... even to watch make-believe movies on a darkened window - this was that power of imagination, that gift of fantasy, of which Dr. Einstein spoke, but so often stifled in kids in favor of getting on with immediate results.

It took me a long time to learn that children have such a natural desire to please a mentor - they just love to do that - and if you do your job right in terms of providing a positive atmosphere, kids will just rise and shine, and grow like plants that have plenty of rain and warm weather! There's just no need to force anything!

Aunt Mag had a close relative - I think, her sister-in-law, Betty Sperle - and these two were so much alike - and they call Betty's kids "Doctor" today, too!

Betty lived across the lake from us, about a mile away as the fish swims - their farm was not a picture postcard, the buildings were old, and the house was modest. And Pete, like Andy, was not a Lion, but a humble spirit. And I remember our family visiting them, from time to time, and there was that same atmosphere over there in that crowded little house - just like at Aunt Mag's. Betty is a jovial, wonderful person, and if you try to get too polite with her, she will laugh and slap you down, and say "Don't be so formal with me!" And this is the whole aura of acceptance that one experiences while in her house.

 

 

 

(1970) you can just barely see Betty and Pete's farm, across the lake, on the upper left.

 

 

 

And I remember, so long ago now - her firstborn, Paula, now a doctor, had just started school - and Betty is telling us what happened! Paula was to find photos in magazines depicting letters of the alphabet, "A" gets you a picture of an apple, that sort of thing. Well, Betty is excited and laughing, as she says, guess what Paula did for the letter H?

So, I'm wondering - what? a hat? a horse? what? And Betty shows us a photo of someone with her hands over her face, indicating "hide"!

Wow! This tiny tot, little Paula, chose an intangible  verb ! - not a noun! - for her H! This is high-level abstract thinking for a little tyke, this is hot stuff!

Congratulations, Betty, you are brilliant! and you did just the right things to help your kids blossom into advanced persons!

 

Aunt Mag is Still With Me...

About 10 years ago, just before Aunt Mag died, I visited her. This dear and tender spirit so warmly welcomed me - and she made me cry, as she cried and laughed, and said, "Wayne, you were always like one of my own."

There can be no higher compliment from a mother...

Last year I was visiting with Norma, one of my psychic friends - and she always tells me things.

And now Norma says:

"There's someone coming through for you... I feel a mother's [soul] vibration... but not your mother... it's your mother's sister... Magdelane."

This was quite moving to me, as Aunt Mag had once told me that she loved me as if I were her own son - and now she was sending a message that indicated the same... how wonderful!

But wait! There's even more!

 

  • Some people are simply gifts to the rest of us - and come here, not so much for their own development, but for ours! And I am now shaken as I realize that every time I have been in the presence of this evolved soul, no matter what dimension she currently inhabits, she has drawn me out, lifted me up, and strengthened my person! And I am one more kid, one more kid, like corn growing tall in the warm rain, who has been nurtured, healed, and steadied, simply by a brief touch from her... my spirit is more free now than it was a moment ago, and I can feel some of that baggage of which I spoke, a few more luggage pieces, drop away from me now, ones so heavy, for so long...

 

Aunt Mag, it was a most high honor to have known you in this life... and, Dear Heart, I shall see you again.

 

 

 



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