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Word Gems
What is a man but the sum of his thoughts?

September 29, 2009

The little professor

"Dad, did you know that the moon is only 220,000 miles away?"

I have to laugh as I think of this incident. I am 10 years old. It is a dark summer night. Dad and I are driving home in the old 1960 Chevy pickup after working in the fields... 

And I am absent-mindedly staring out of the window, up at the stars. Dad has purchased for me a set of World Book Encyclopedias, and I have been reading them, like interesting story books, page after page...

Dad was surprised at this information about the moon. He had assumed it was millions of miles away.

• Winston Churchill: "I am always willing to learn, but not necessarily to be taught."
  

The little professor in me is now revving up, and the lecture continues.

"And Dad," I intone in my sing-song little voice, "did you know that the Milky Way up there is really a side-view of a spiral-disk? It takes light 100,000 years just to go across that one galaxy! And there are lots and lots of them."

I think I wouldn't have minded speaking about each one. [smile]

"And Dad, did you know that it takes light from the sun 8 whole minutes to get to the earth? Wow, if the sun blew up, we wouldn't even know about it for 8 minutes! Imagine that!"

[smile]

My father, dear person that he is, now departed from us, was not, shall we say, accustomed to hanging around lecturers such as myself... [smile]

Most of my childhood interaction with Dad was positive. Though he was not an educated man, he became for me, in the main, a model of the thoughtful person.

However, there were times, several times, when he became a different person, and I did not know him.

Dad sends me a message

In August, Sharon (P.S. #33) and I were talking. While in conversation about other matters, Dad suddenly sends a message to me via Sharon:

"Wait! I'm getting a message from your Dad!"

Of course, this was very surprising to me.

"I can see his face. It has appeared next to yours, and he is looking at you, has turned toward you!"

I say nothing to this but simply listen.

"He is showing you an angry face."

And now I must ask, "Is he angry with me?"

"No, he is not angry, I'm not feeling that. I think he just wants to appear as he did in those old days. He wants you to understand something."

"What does he want to say?"

"Your Dad is saying that you grew up so quickly, and intellectually outclassed him so quickly, that he didn't know how to deal with you! your thinking was beyond him! You were not like other children. And this made him feel less, threatened, and it made him angry! And that's why he put you down at times. The angry face that I see is not anger for you, but more of a regret, about his own life, and how he treated you! And it reflects how he looked then!"

I am stunned, dismayed, and saddened by this anomalous encounter with Dad.

But... at the same time, I am glad for him. This took great courage, and honesty, for him to say these things, and I am very happy that his developing soul has allowed him to see some things.

• Editor's note: On another occasion I will tell you of a recent message from Uncle John delivered by Norma. But one small addition to that picture which is fitting for me to mention now is that Dad was standing beside him. Dad was not saying anything, Norma said, just standing by! I will share with you my sense of what this small vignette says to me. Dad, in the spirit of the biblical phrase, is "sitting at the feet of a master teacher," listening, not speaking. He was not so interested in these matters of the Spirit during the last decades and now realizes his error. And the fact that he presented himself as one in attendance to a message from Uncle John to me demonstrates his humility, his interest, even to be an observer right now. I find this small example of self-effacement inspiring, and evidence that Dad is making good progress where he is! As I said, I primarily have always seen him to be a reasonable person.

What this article is about

The energies of your own Soul are an awesome force. Your Soul is ambitious. It desires, and will reach for, the highest heights of spirituality and growth... in all areas.

Think of this positive energy as a river...wide and deep... flowing, ever flowing... you can't stop it... all you can do is to align yourself with its inexorable force.

Yet we do attempt to block its energy. That's what the Ego tries to do, and we'll talk about that.

Blocking the naturally flowing energies of the universe, and of the soul, is one of the most dangerous and harmful activities imaginable. The consequences for this kind of dishonesty and self-deception are huge... not permanent consequences... that's the good news... just temporary... temporary, as in suffering for months, a few years, decades, or hundreds of years... it just depends how bold the lies are...

There is a phrase... "the unpardonable sin" ... nothing really here to be afraid of for the honest person... but, for the politically-correct among us, let's just say that they will have some homework to do.

Is there an Unpardonable Sin?

People worry about things like this.

My Uncle Joe did. He is a good man, a survivor of a few years of the horror of the Korean War's Fire and Ice... he was brave enough to endure that hell on earth... but, after his passing, this question so terrified him that he refused to go to The Light (P.S. #34).

Unless you are a very savvy student of the Bible, I know that you do not know the answer to this question. I know this because the entire vast armada of The Lying Teacher and Religious Deception (P.S. #21) has brought all of its power to bear upon this issue to make sure that you do not find comfort here... so much easier to control you that way, you know.

But, allow me to quickly give you the bottom line: If you are worried about this, even though you might cause yourself a little grief for awhile, you really have nothing to worry about!

I'll explain why.

The term "unpardonable sin" does not appear in scripture. The term is a cute editorial device. The concept is not there either... well... not really... not in the sense that certain ones would have you believe.

Let's look at the actual text, in two different translations, old and modern:

Matthew 12: 22-24, 31-32, The King James Version

22 Then was brought unto him one possessed with a devil, blind, and dumb: and he healed him, insomuch that the blind and dumb both spake and saw. 23 And all the people were amazed, and said, Is not this the son of David? 24 But when the Pharisees heard it, they said, This fellow doth not cast out devils, but by Beelzebub the prince of the devils.

31 Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men. 32 And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.

Matthew 12: 22-24, 31-32, The Message

22 Next a poor demon-afflicted wretch, both blind and deaf, was set down before him. Jesus healed him, gave him his sight and hearing. 23 The people who saw it were impressed - "This has to be the Son of David!" 24 But the Pharisees, when they heard the report, were cynical. "Black magic," they said. "Some devil trick he's pulled from his sleeve."

31 There's nothing done or said that can't be forgiven. But if you deliberately persist in your slanders against God's Spirit, you are repudiating the very One who forgives. 32 If you reject the Son of Man out of some misunderstanding, the Holy Spirit can forgive you, but when you reject the Holy Spirit, you're sawing off the branch on which you're sitting, severing by your own perversity all connection with the One who forgives.

The Becker Living Translation

Jesus healed a blind and deaf person - a dramatic display of Divine Power. Everyone was moved by this mega-spiritual event. Except for a few... those few who hated competition in the religious arena; those who stood to lose power if Jesus and his message were accepted.

They played the D-card. "It's all demonism!" they charged. Those who have no cogent arguments very often play the D-card. It's like the R-card in dirty politics... it's what you say, when you have nothing else to say, when you've been bested. When you have no reasoned response, you go for character assassination.

Jesus has broad shoulders. He's mature enough so as to not take attacks personally. But he knows that this game which his opponents now play is the most dangerous of all... for them.

First, he states a general rule: There is nothing you can say or do that can't be forgiven! And that's wonderful. In fact, true forgiveness, "gives" even "before" the offense occurs (P.S. #23). There is no such thing as a sin too big to be forgiven. Those whom God has placed in charge of us, for our development, have been around the block a few times, and there's nothing we can do that they haven't seen before, so they're not shocked by anything.

But what is this seeming contradiction then? How can God forgive any sin... but the Holy Spirit will not? This statement alone should tell you there are severe problems with the traditional view of The Trinity (an expose for another day; as Lincoln once said, "one war at a time"). Is God compassionate? but the Holy Spirit a little touchy? can't really take a joke too much? Is that what's happening here?

The confusion originates in the notion that the Holy Spirit is a person. This is a later addition by church politicians. The Holy Spirit is not a person, as this term should be translated as The Purified Consciousness. You are, in fact, a Soul made in God's image, and you already have this energy, this link, to God. But it's been covered up, smothered, by The Ego. This Divine Connection to God, this Purified Consciousness, is not something to be received, ingested, like receiving a glass of water... like receiving something from the external world... it's already a part of you... you just have to wake up and see who you are... that's why Jesus spoke of the Artesian Well (P.S. #23). Waking up means becoming Conscious of one's Divine Link to God... the Purified Consciousness.

So what does this mean? What is this talk about sinning against the Holy Spirit?

"you're sawing off the branch on which you're sitting"  

Sinning against the Holy Spirit is really sinning against yourself! It means damaging yourself! It means corrupting yourself!

God is not the problem. He's actually very warm-and-fuzzy and will never hurt you. But you can hurt yourself, though, and that's the dangerous part.

Look again at what Jesus was up against.

His detractors had played the D-card. They knew better. They knew that this kind of power was Divine power. Notice John 3:2: "We know that you are a teacher come from God, because no man can do these miracles except God be with him." This is why Matthew says that his opponents were "cynical" and "slandered" him... they knew better. They were lying... just like the gross lying in Washington today... everything they say is a lie... as they desperately attempt to hold on to political power.

All of this brings us to the point of great danger. When a person maliciously does something wrong; when one knows that one's words are a bold-faced lie; something terrible happens in one's deepest Person... it is a sin against the Holy Spirit... it is a sin against the Purified Consciousness... you corrupt that part of you that was meant to lead you into all Truth, all higher levels of awareness.

When a person saws off the branch on which one is sitting, how do you recover from that? It's hard... real hard.

And if one persists in this deliberate lying, one destroys one's very ability to even come back to one's senses. And because the Universe is all about choice, not even God will intervene, and that poor wretch will be allowed to suffer his way through this - suffer full measure until that suffering prompts a call for help... which, in his demented and hardened state, might be some time from now. This is the meaning of another of Jesus' parables, when he says, "Truly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of [prison] till you have paid the last penny."

Notice, above, in verse 32 (KJV), the warning, that this self-imposed condition of darkness will follow one even into the Next Life! "it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come." And there are thousands of AfterLife testimonies that bear witness to these words; in fact, for most people who sin like this, there usually will be no redemption in this life. They are too proud and too arrogant right now, too imperial, too interested in political or ecclesiastical power, to come to their senses. But in this persistence of lying, they purchase for themselves decades, maybe, hundreds of years, of abject terror and suffering, all of their own doing. No one will force them into dark places of suffering - but their own corrupted selves, their own self-loathing, their own rage and self-pity, will make them unreachable, for a long time, to those Loving Spirit-Persons who would offer to them comfort and solace.

The Mysterious and Esoteric World of Numerology

Sharon and Linda have recently spoken to me about the zodiac (P.S. #33). They’ve also introduced to me its close relative, numerology. My experience with this latter concept, little as it’s been, has not been felicitous. Numerologyis often the playground of religious cult-leaders who attempt to manipulate fears with myths about 666 and all that rot. But, this is not your fundamentalist numerology of which we speak here. It is an ancient tradition that seeks for relationships between one’s birth date/birth name and the destiny of one’s life.

This is a bold claim. “Linda, how can there possibly be anything to this? Why should I suppose that my name or birthday could offer any insight into my cosmic life-plan?” Linda, a teacher and librarian in her day-job, is a most thoughtful person, not given to hyperbole. She tells me that numerology is very mysterious, but, also, according to her growing personal experience in the field, not so easily discounted or set aside. She offers the historical note that Pythagoras, a mystic, is reported to have discovered in numerology such predictive powers that he created a secret society to protect the information, lest it fall into the wrong hands. I remembered that he had spent 20 years in Egypt learning dark secrets from the priest caste, so I wondered if he had been initiated to this craft while there.

Pythagoras of Samos
(c. 570 BCE - c. 495 BCE)
Capitoline Museums, Rome

 

But I pressed the issue with Linda and asked her for her best sense of how numerology might have any validity: “According to some AfterLife testimonies, before we come to this world, we not only choose those individuals with whom, and from whom, we will learn specific lessons – such as parents, friends, and lovers – but we also purposefully choose our own names and birth dates, both of which become a kind of map or plan of our lives. It is not that a name or date can direct one’s destiny, but that these merely reveal, in outline form, what you, yourself, have already purposed for yourself, before you came to this world.” I accepted this as a rational possibility. I have read many AfterLife reports of pre-birth choosing of the major players in one’s life, so this theory might be credible.

Sharon offered to “study my numbers,” which would give me a personal sense of how all this might work. Several days later she presented to me her findings, which she prefaced with the words, “I’m going to shock-and-awe you.” There was a lot to cover, and her research I would find to be amazingly detailed. It is possible to recount for you here only a very brief outline of what she gave to me as there was so much to review. I truly was amazed. This was no banal “fortune cookie" prediction. It was as if someone had gotten into my head and discovered the hidden, detailed motivations of my Deepest Self! Heavy stuff!

She laid her study papers before me with her calculations. She pointed out how a particular number came up again and again for me; how, especially, in my latter years, it would dominate the course of my life. My burning desire, Sharon said, was to engage in humanitarian work. Personal freedom, for me, is as important as the air that I breathe - but not just for myself. I want this for everyone. However, she pointed out a peculiarity of my philanthropic desire. “You have an inner fire for big projects…. projects so big that you cannot possibly achieve success, or hardly even begin, in this lifetime alone…. projects that you might be working on for the next 1000 years! You are like a disciplined soldier in this, on duty; a long-term planner, it doesn't matter how long it takes... this is what you do, how you think. This trait, as expressed by a preponderance of recurring numbers, is so strong in you that it is not just a trait of you… it is you!”

the girl with the bruise over her eye

I begin to swoon at my sense of the accuracy of Sharon's statements. I feel devastated that these things, most of which I rarely, if ever, tell anyone, are somehow known of me... by squiggles and marks on a page, no less! I showed something to Sharon. In my briefcase, I carry with me always, photos of the disadvantaged of the world… especially, Africa… especially, that bruised Islamic girl (P.S. #19). I began to recount with Sharon a message from Norma (P.S. #25) which I received a year ago: “What's this thing with you and Africa?” Norma wanted to know! I was rocked by her knowledge of this! “This is for the future, not for the present time. Your Guides want you to just pray and meditate on these things for now!” And now my head is swimming in another memory. Over 10 years ago, I shared with my dear friend, and frequent advocate, Sister Marie Granger, an essay that I felt moved to write, but with a title far too audacious to take seriously: "How To Revolutionize The Nation's Educational System - and Western Civilization - in The Next 100 Years!" Well, that's chutzpah, huh? As my cousin Jerry used to suggest, there's a doctor in Vienna who might be able to help me... however...  My friends, if you were to receive stunning confirmation, such as these revelations from Sharon, things of the inner, hidden springs of one’s own heart, as did Nathanael (John 1: 49, 50), you might be prompted to become a believer of some of this! Sharon offered much more. But I will share only one additional item. She said that I chose the parents of my mortality that, by their misunderstanding of my purpose, I might be further honed, and goaded, into a more fully independent and autonomous person; that free person that I needed to become, in order to lead others to a similar enlightened view... and, in my love of freedom, I suddenly realize why I am drawn to the wild openness of the prairie so much... and that horse... and now I know why I chose to grow up where I did...

(1956) Mom's captions make me laugh

Well… I guess you could say, I was “shocked and awed.” But, Sharon had prepared another study, too. I would consider it to be a “control” case, of sorts, instructional to me as further second-party confirmation of the process, as this next study related to the life of a person that we both know of. This person’s numbers reveal her to be very spiritual in nature. Sharon pointed out that, in her case, she was, in a sense, born spiritually-minded, while, in my case, I would need most of my life to get there! This person also is service-minded; but not so much focused upon massive projects; however, even so, she offers altruism, for all, everyone, in her daily life.Sharon reads that she is "deeply compassionate and would love to help the whole world... forgiveness, patience, sympathy, even for the lowest, always flower in your heart." It is her Soul's desire to serve humanity and to beautify the world.

Art Garfunkel: "your flowers and your birds..."

Sharon almost gasped as she read the words representative of this woman's purity and spirituality: “There is something so fine, so warm, and all embracing, in your Soul that you can touch the Cosmic Mind and Heart if you aspire to Divine Love.” This comes close to perfected agape-love!

the beautiful little soul
with a child's purity... flowers in her hair... gently caressing a golden bird

The life-plan as revealed by one’s name/birth numbers is quite detailed, much more than I would have imagined, and even reveals the major time-periods of activity of one’s life. Sharon noted, with some concern, that this woman has endured a less-than-desirable domestic situation for a long time, since her mid-twenties; virtually, immediately after her marriage. During these many years, her life has been dominated by a recurring number which indicates a certain measure of isolation; almost one of hunkering down and survival, as she has been forced to quietly assert her individuality, just to maintain her self-respect, her dignity. A hopeful note, Sharon observed, is that a time of much change is finally coming for her, a time of more freedom. She will be growing as a person, breaking out of old enslaving ideas that have held her captive since her youth. This process, Sharon reads, will begin in 2009, but will gather much force in 2010; a time of intense desire to know more; a time of much more introspection on the universal themes of life; all of which shall cause her to put her spiritual and mental house in order.

anciently, the bird, especially, the dove, has
been a symbol of freedom and enlightenment

Her Soul will demand this of her, and she will begin to insist upon things... for herself. There will be those immature others who will oppose her in this. But she will not back down as, with increasing vision, she begins to perceive and discover a Universe of Grand Natural Law that supersedes outmoded and obsolete convention. Her years of courageous isolation, of developing her own sacred individuality, her own inner strength, will now serve her well.

Sting, Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot    Just let your pain be my sorrow, Let your tears by my tears, too, Let your courage by my model, That the north you find may be true...     Sting, in concert

The energies of the Universe, that great river, ever flowing, beckons to all of us. But, if such power is available to all, why do some tap this energy, while others do not?

Are psychic abilities unusual...or meant to be the norm?

I offer some stories of my friends.

David

When David was a teenager, he and two buddies were joy-riding in David's car. There was an accident. Johnny, his very good friend, was killed. For a long time, David blamed himself for this and engaged in risky behavior, a kind of death-wish activity. David, suffering severe depression then, remembers one night. He purposely drank heavily, as he intended not to make it home alive. He said that he remembered entering his car, and driving at high speed, but he really doesn't know how he made it home. Later in life, with his developed psychic abilities, Johnny told him... "I got you home that night!"

Sharon

My literate and compassionate friend grew up in the backwoods of West Virginia. The women in her family had a tendency to marry men who would physically abuse them. Additionally, several of the men would molest the children. Sharon was one of these victims, and her nightmare-ordeal would continue until age 17. But there was an incident when she was a young girl of 12. An uncle of hers was to drive her to a certain place. Instead, he took her to a secluded house in order to harm her. Sharon remembers cowering in the corner, trying to evade him as he approached. Suddenly, he is flung back, across the room, sent sprawling, as if attacked by some unseen force. Sharon would later discern that this was her Grandmother, in Spirit, defending her!

Linda

Linda's mother was a classroom teacher. Her school was hosting a fund-raising carnival in the gym. Each teacher was to create some kind of activity to help in this effort. Her friends told her, "Why don't you be a fortune teller just for fun and charge a dollar a time?" Linda's mother was very apprehensive about this: "What will I say to them?" Still, she decided to go through with it. One or two people stood in front of this "fortune teller's" booth. She doesn't know how it was possible, but she began to tell them things about their lives... very detailed things about their lives! Now, suddenly, there is a very long line in front of this fortune teller's booth! Linda's mother is very frightened by this experience. What has happened to her? Linda says that her mother prayed every night for this ability to leave her! This prayer would not be answered until the day Linda was born... when, apparently, this gift was passed on to her.

Near-death experiencers

It is very common for those who have undergone the near-death experience to discover that, somehow, they have been given psychic powers. When they return they always say that they no longer fear death; or much else now.

Ed and Kerri:

Nothing left to lose after losing you

It is not uncommon for those who have lost a Most Beloved - not necessarily to death - to find that their powers of discernment, intuition, and even psychic ability, to be greatly enhanced.

Ed (P.S. #38) did not admit to psychic abilities, but he did reveal that he, not a greatly literate person, was now interested in writing poetry. He shared some of it with me. And I couldn't help but recall the stories of the great artists - painters, musicians, composers, comedians, singers, writers, poets - who had produced their greatest efforts after a devastating personal loss.

• It might almost be said that the measure of the artwork's brilliance is the measure of the suffering of the artist!

Bobby Vinton, There! I've Said It Again I love you, there's nothing to hide, It's better than burning inside, I love you, no use to pretend, There! I've said it again. I've said it, what more can I say, Believe me, there's no other way, I love you, I will to the end, There! I've said it again... Forgive me for wanting you so, But one thing I want you to know, I've loved you since heaven knows when, There! I've said it again.

Editor's note: "Forgive me for wanting you so..." These poetic words are among the most romantic ever set to music. Vinton did this song in one take. He dismissed everybody from the studio, saying, "That's it. I could sing this all night, but it's not going to get any better. It's a hit just the way it is!" I think so... "Forgive me for wanting you so"

Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart begins his Power Of Now with a gripping personal account of his battle with depression. One night, in the darkness, at age 29, he saw little reason to continue his life. And, in the midnight shadows, in the foreboding quiet, he asserted, "I can't live with myself anymore!"

But, as these words shattered the night, he suddenly realized something: "Who is this I and who is this self? Are there two of me? And if there are, maybe one is a False Self!"

After this encounter, Eckhart says that he spent the next two years "sitting on park benches," immersed in a profound sense of wonder regarding the mystery of Life.

... and, there's me, too

Well... I haven't sat on park benches for two years... then again, maybe, in my own way, I have.

In P.S. #30 I spoke of jogging by the "Hey! Wagon" and being summoned by one of Carl Jung's syncronicities. There have been certain events of my youth that I've kept buried for over 40 years.

On May 1, 2008, I met with Norma. She had a message for me. It was cryptic, at least it would be to another:

"There is something in the back of your mind that you don’t talk about, but [they want you to know] that it might help to talk about it."

Immediately, I knew exactly what this meant. And I bristled with anger, as if to say... to myself, and to the world... "Don't you know the rules! We have agreed that some doors are to remain permanently locked! There are some things that we will never talk about again!"

Norma, some months later, would comment on my reaction. She witnessed my bristling. And she knew that she had struck a very deep cord within my heart.

I left Norma in a spirit of agitation. Almost as if I'd been assaulted. But, later, in a calmer moment, I began to agree with myself that it was time for me to open those locked-down doors in my mind.

Emotional Clearing

Adrian, a couple of years ago, had recommended this book by clinical psychologist John Ruskan... see excerpts here... I began to look at it. We all have trapped negative energy in our spirits regarding the hurts of the past. This is the dark energy that feeds the Ego and keeps it alive and going.

The therapy works this way:

When we are hurt, we tend to repress the bad feelings. We think they'll go away sometime. They don't. At best, they go underground, get stored up, build and build... causing our fears to grow and grow. We become more and more dysfunctional... more and more cut off... not only from others but from our True Selves... our very Soul.

Instead of stuffing the bad feelings down, and acting as if they don't exist, Dr. Ruskan, along with many other spiritual teachers, says this:

Allow a bad memory to come into your awareness. Instead of stuffing it down, stay with it now. Allow it to flow over you like a river of pain. Stay with it. Don't run. Allow it to flow. Don't judge it or yourself. Don't condemn. Do it like watching a movie. You are not in the movie. The violence can't hurt you. Just watch the show. Eat your popcorn. It can't hurt you anymore. Just let the pain flow. Allow the pain to immerse you. But just relax. Realize that this is an illusion. It can't hurt you anymore. It's just a movie. Stay with it. Don't leave the theatre.

What you can expect

As you continue with this process... maybe, minutes at a time... over several days, maybe, weeks or more... you will feel the painful energy of this bad memory slowing losing its grip on you... you're not feeding it anymore...

This, my friends, is the Death of the Ego... the Death of the Great False Self!

Stay with the process. It might get worse before it gets better. But it will get better. It will get better because when the energy of this bad memory has dissipated, the remaining mental construct will be a mere empty shell devoid of its energy... once you've seen the horror movie a few times, it really doesn't seem so scarry anymore, does it.... that's how it works.

A small example

Here is just a little thing - not a major thing, just an example - that used to bother me. When I was a young teen, I saw a movie, "The Long Ships," with Richard Widmark. A particular torture device was depicted. The mental agonies supplied by this terrible machine have remained with me all these years. It is something that would pop into my head occasionally... and I would stuff it down. But I decided that I would finally do something about this pest in my head.

Instead of avoiding the torture machine, I would now invite it in for coffee and a chat. Instead of freezing up, and running away, I entered the machine... allowed it to do its worst... tear me to shreds... cut me into small pieces... there you've done it... what else you got... not much I see...

I did this many times. And while the threatened pain of that devil-engine has not been completely vanquished, its power over me has been severely diminished in my mind. It no longer rules a portion of my head.

The Battle of Okinawa

This small island, a stepping-stone to conquering Imperial Japan, claimed more lives than did the atomic bomb.

It was victory by inches. Each foxhole, each machine-gun nest, each tree with snipers, had to be individually cleared... one at a time.

The Ego will be defeated only like this.

One bad memory at a time... one nest of dark energy dissipated at a time... one bomb defused at a time.

Battle of Okinawa, April, 1945
a G.I with flamethrower, moving from nest to nest

It is a long, and sometimes frightening, process. You will work on this for the rest of your life. Do not expect quick results. You have spent a lifetime carefully gathering these dark energies. And they will not surrender, nor be defeated, in a day.

This is the terrible process that the saints call... "the long dark night of the soul"... you must finally inspect all of those locked doors in your heart, ones covered with cobwebs, and carefully kept out of view, for so long.

The ones that hurt the most... go there first!!

A required course

Everyone will have to take this course. It's required for graduation, you know.

By this I mean that you cannot move forward in your own soul development without rooting out, one by one, the fears that are holding you back and presently running your life. This is what the Apostle John meant when he said that fear is blocking your love!

The longer you wait, the more stuff you will have to process... the harder your final test will be. Your own Higher Self, that part of you that has no sense of humor about you cutting class, will demand this of you. Absolutely!

Feeling a feeling

• Edgar Yipsel Harburg: "Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought."

In P.S. #20 I told you that Dr. John Welwood says that we try to protect ourselves from pain by cutting ourselves off from the memory of it... we repress... unfortunately, in that process, we sever the branch upon which we sit... we cut ourselves off from our own True Selves... from our own feelings issuing from our True Persons.

And we go to great lengths, sometimes, to avoid our feelings... which is a way to avoid Ourselves! But Harburg instructs us that music helps us to feel our feelings.

For many years, I did not want to feel my feelings. The events of age 13, and thereafter, were altogether too painful for me to think about. So I would avoid music... that avenue to my feelings and memories. For decades, I would not listen to music. While driving, I would listen to scholarly lectures. But, as Lovey (P.S. #35) told me, I did this because I was afraid of what my own Soul might be whispering to me... well, I don't know, these Guides of mine are so annoying sometimes... [smile]

What is the Ego?

The Ego is that part of us that masquerades as the True Self. It is that artificial, pathological, and neurotic sense of I, me, and mine.

Of course, in its proper context, we need this sense of individuality; indeed, a major purpose for our coming to this world was to encourage this process of individuation. But the Ego takes it all to a demented extreme... that of... me against them... me against all others... me against the world.

• As Carl Jung warned (P.S. #35), the self-centered Ego is the cause of all evil and suffering in the world!

Why did it have to be this way? Why can't we all just get along as little angels?

That would be nice, but I've come to see that the way things are, as unpleasant as it is sometimes in this world, is really for the best, and part of a larger process.

• The dark Ego is a temporary construct, an evolutionary phase in the development of humankind. Like religion, the insane Ego was meant to exist just for a short time.

Why temporary? It's like this, I think.

I told you the story of Dad and mea - and how I came to see that I needed to be goaded a bit by Dad just to bring the Real Me out into the open. Again, experiences such as these can be part of why we come to this world.

In our early, immature soul state, we are too childishly attached to God, our Guides, and   those who look after us. But, our potential, as Souls made in the image of God, is too vast for our Guides, or our Higher Selves, to allow ourselves to remain in the nursery forever. For a healthy and able-bodied man, at age 37, so to speak, to play computer games and to live in his mother's basement... if you see what I mean... is undignified... and runs counter to one's glory and destiny... he really needs to get the hell out there and get a job, no matter what it is.

So it is with the Soul. We were not fitted, within our deepest Selves, to forever run to God, or to Guides, for what we want and need. Their answer, more and more, to us will become... go and figure it out for yourself... as my mother, in that Kuhn-tone, would say, "Are you helpless or something?" [smile]

That's good advice from Mom. And the Ego, Joker-insane as it is, is the down-payment, just temporary staging, regarding our glorious future as a well-ordered, spiritual, independent, and self-ruling mind!

Yes, it needs just a little fine-tuning. A little too much gas in the carburetor sometimes. But it's a start. And from this primitive basis of beginning autonomy, we are meant to move ahead to higher levels of Purified Independence, of spiritual awareness and other-centered consciousness!

What were you doing when the lights were out?

No, don't think about it, just tell us. We'd all like to know.

My friend Ed (P.S. #38) said that in his grief for Kerri, in his darkness, he made a lot of bad decisions. That's the way it is with fear. It's a world of darkness. Because, in the dark, he not only lost Kerri, but he lost himself, as well... not to mention, the rest of us, too.

Psychic abilities are popularly seen as "the paranormal"? Is that so?

Well, what would you expect the inmates to say...

• The truth is, psychic abilities are the natural and normal functionings of a mind unencumbered by fears! Part of your heritage as a child of God!

It seems, very often, the appearance of psychic abilities in one's life will coincide with an experience of great loss. Recall my brief stories of my friends, above. Each one endured a time of "total loss" ... loss as personally defined by themselves... a time when the Ego's identification with objects in the external world (P.S. #35), essentially, collapsed! ... leaving the True Self open both to receive messages and to give of itself... and the world will call all of this abnormal psychology ... as I said, what would you expect the inmates to say.

Linda seems to be an exception to this rule. But she is of a family wherein psychic talent has been the norm. It seems, in such cases, that the next-generation child somehow receives a kind of permission to enter the psychic world... part of her heritage... part of what she deems to be normal. She doesn't think any of this to be unusual so she simply does it! We could do it, too, just as easily, if we believed that we could! I think that's a fact! We limit ourselves by our own errant views of what is possible! If you think you can't, you can't!

Well, it's just like what they told Dorothy... she had the ability to go back to Kansas anytime she wanted to, she just didn't know it.

David sets me straight 

In July, David and I headed to the Thurman Cafe in German Village...

Editor's note: Thurman's is famous for their huge gobbstopping hamburgers. Sadly, I did not attempt one of these.

He wants me to know some things.

"People like to say that I am a gifted medium. I don't like the word gifted. It makes it sound as if I'm special. I'm not. What I do, or something like it, is available to everyone!"

I talk about one on my recent articles, about my Uncle John and forgiveness (P.S. #23). But, as I do, David interrupts...

"They're telling me something. They want you to understand some things. In this last year, you have changed. You are more open now. And they want you to know that many of the things that you are writing about are not just from you anymore. They want you to see this and acknowledge this. The kinds of insights that you are offering to the public represent a form of mediumship!

"And they're telling me that your Uncle John is working closely with you. He is not one of your official Guides. But because of your connection with him, he is now, in a sense, working in that capacity for you. What you do with your writing, your mediumship, is different than mine. In a way, yours in more important, because it is being delivered in a permanent form, something that will endure even after you're gone. They want you to know this and to take this seriously."

David adds one more thought.

"You should also understand that these on the Other Side who are working with you are just as excited, or even more excited than you regarding this writing project. These are highly motivated Spirit-Entities who have a mission to teach and help the world, and all of this is very important to them!"

The aftermath of my meeting with Norma

I sense that what David is saying is true. Ever since Norma encouraged me to open those locked doors, I have experienced... virtually, daily... a terrific cathartic release of trapped emotions and dark energies... it continues... I'm starting to think that this might be the way it will be for me for the duration. For the early Christians, this is what water  baptism was meant to signify! a life-long process of inner cleansing!

All this is very strange. Everyone will have a different story, but everyone has things from the past, unresolved issues. It is strange because, as I begin to allow my eyes to open, I find myself grieving for hurtful things as if they'd happened this morning - a temporal anomaly! For me, though, this is true. I had blocked out the reality of these issues during this interim of 45 years... so, for me, in an emotional sense... it did happen this morning! ... and it feels that way.

But, as the lights come on, as a result of my openness, I begin to see, in a sense, introductory revelations regarding... everything... As I allow myself to come face-to-face with the sometimes-sordid inner workings of my own heart - not often a pleasant process, as Carl Jung tells us - I begin to understand the motivations not only of my own heart but that of others, as well... and, from this basis, I offer my series of articles, Personal Statements.

• “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye." Matthew 7: 3-5, New Living Translation

Understanding mysteries, becoming love itself

As we reduce the power of the Ego, as we reduce fears, we will find that not only will we become more intuitive; possibly, exhibiting full psychic powers; but, most importantly, we will discover that we will have begun to unblock what Jesus referred to as The Great Artesian Well of the Soul (P.S. #23).

And when this Ego-blockage is removed, some of the mysteries of the world will begin to reveal themselves to us. Our Souls will explain it to us! We will begin to understand many things, even things that some people consider to be unknowable.

But, most of all, the Death of The Ego, The Great False Self, will herald the coming of a new spiritual you. The Apostle Paul called this "a New Creation"! But, this is not something that you must try to do. Do not try! Do not work hard at this! If you try to do it, it will be all wrong, merely another plastic-banana role that the Ego wants to play in order to impress others.

Just let it flow... relax... let go of fears... and flow in the natural energies of your Soul.

The unblocked Artesian Well, with its natural energies now bubbling-up to the surface of your life, will offer to you a sense of love for all humankind... this is the Eternal Life of which Jesus spoke... such agape-love has been there all the time... you just couldn't access it... the Ego was blocking it! But, now, you will simply flow in the energies of this love...

... as Jesus said, "the unforced rhythms of grace"!

And you will become who you truly are... but... you've been there all the time, Dorothy.

Once The Great False Self is laid to rest, who will you be?

Who are you really?

Don't you know who you are?

As my daughter, Sara, a long time ago, might have said...

"You silly" ... you are Love itself!

to be continued...

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