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Word Gems
Personal Statement #32 Love In The AfterLife:
August 14, 2009
Steve Gunn is a British psychic, a grief-counselor, who specializes in helping those suffering the trauma of separation from a soulmate lover.
"The domain of true soulmates is the domain of the metaphysical practitioner. By that I mean psychics, mediums, and healers like myself. People usually come to us because nothing else makes sense and nothing else works. A soulmate connection can only be understood at the soul level, the level of the connection itself, why it happened, what it's meant to achieve and how it affects both parties."
Steve, in his research, has found that once one becomes conscious enough to be aware of the "other half" of one's being, in most cases, life will not allow one to be with that Special Other right now. Many hundreds have sought his insight and advice; there are many hundreds of stories and testimonies. Here is one example of such phenomenon.
There is the story of a man who once sought the guidance of a medium. In this process, he began to ask questions. His heart would not allow him to remain silent, a mere passive participant. He wanted to know if a certain dream was a message for him, or was it simply self-induced wish fulfillment. He began, hesitatingly, to offer his story; he did not want to say too much right away, so as to not interfere with the authenticity of the proceedings. For example, the medium, initially, assumed that he was speaking of someone who had already passed to the Next Life; but, suddenly, the medium realized - "I thought this was someone who'd already passed; but, the person of whom you speak is still in our world, isn't that correct?" The man said that this was true. Having obtained a measure of assurance that the medium was receiving legitimate information, he began to reveal more of the details of his story. He had been on the road, travelling. It was late at night. He had been thinking of someone he loved; someone he had left behind decades before...
... someone who, at least, a long time ago, had loved him... but, she had become lost to him; and he, to her. And, in the late-night darkness, just as he was about to pull-off the highway, he uttered a prayer of deep frustration and sorrow, a prayer addressed to some unknown God or Guide: "Could you help me to know if she still loves me!"
Bubbling joy, soul-energy unleashed, the utterly familiar spirit He awakened early. And in the pre-dawn mists, still fresh upon his mind, were the images of a dream, one so real... she had been speaking... to him! She had told him that she still loved him!
Shaken by the stark realism of the dream, he immediately began to doubt himself: "This is just my mind trying to make me feel better."
Such reductionist explanation seemed almost convincing to him... but for one thing... this was no ordinary dream-conversation. He had not only heard her words, but had felt her presence. By this he meant to say that he experienced, once again, after so long a time, her spiritual energy, her bubbling joy, that utterly unique and familiar spirit whom he had known so many years ago. He had never forgotten that Special Love-Energy, nor could he. And, having been immersed, once more, in her Essence, he felt that she, in a very real sense, had been with him. He finished his story with a final note. As he made his way back to the highway, he noticed a sign, the name of the area where he'd spent the night... it was a form of her name!
The Glowing Deep Purple And the man wanted to know - the tone of his voice now exhibiting an element of desperation - was this a message from God, or a Spirit Guide? ... had he somehow accessed her spirit? ... does she still love me?
The medium began slowly to address the man. "They want you to know that your dream was no accident... that this incident was a direct response from them to you, to encourage you."
The man senses that he is close to the answer that has been plaguing him for decades... and that note of desperation in his voice continues: "Yes, but... does she
still love me?" "They are showing me an image of something... a glowing deep purple!"
Intoxicated... with love This medium has seen something... is deeply moved... is acting a little funny... seems, almost, to be slightly intoxicated... the medium's face is suffused... with joy... the voice, now, with a slight breathless quality... What kind of ecstatic vision caused such reaction? How can one, born blind, understand the glories of the magenta-purple sunset? And how can those of this world understand the hidden, spiritual essence of True Romantic Love? I am thinking of the movie, Daredevil, the Marvel comics superhero. His physical eyes no longer function, but he mentally accesses the energy-forms of entities around him. And, it seems that the medium experienced something like that. On the Other Side, the Spirit Guides were attempting to explain what is not discernable to us in a 3-dimensional world. It would seem, in their world, True Love, or its energy, is almost a palpable thing; almost something that has a life of its own... and the best they could do for us, poor mortals, is to say, "It's like a burst of glowing deep-purple energy!"
The medium is smiling, almost glowing... sort of like if one were to witness something that is so wonderful; but, also, so intrinsically and sacredly private, something meant just for Two Lovers, that one could only smile, with a sense of awe and wonder!
The question restated The man sees the medium's reaction, and this goads him even more. He is so close to an answer, one that has bedeviled him for so long... so he must ask once again... "I don't understand. What does this mean? Does this mean that she loves me?" The medium enquires again. "They can't give too many more details right now. But they seem to be teasing... you. The image is now not just purple but magenta-purple. It definitely means that the person you are thinking of does love you! The magenta color means love."
And what does the purple mean? I'll share some thoughts on that in a minute, but our friend is not ready to stand down, and now asks the most important question of his entire life, one that has bothered him most of his life. It is a question prompted by the fact that he has thought of her for so many years... "Is she my Twin Soul?" There
is now a hint of fear, even terror, in his voice, as he cannot
bear the thought of an answer in the negative.
The thundering still small voice Once again, the medium relays his request. The answer comes...
These simple words cannot convey the importance expressed by this revelation. There are few announcements in this universe which could be more weighty. We shall presently discuss this.
Our friend, though joyful at this pronouncement, even with this much, will not relent. He has heard that the glowing colors mean that she loves him... but even all this does not yet satisfy him... he wants to hear the words... the directly-spoken words... the only words in life that he craves to hear... that she loves him. Once
again, he almost demands: "Does she love me... is she
still in love with me?"
Even though the response to his question, given the now-revealed cosmic status of these Two, might be assumed to be obvious, the medium asks once more... and returns with an answer... but this time, there is a note of hesitation: "I hear a very soft yes! ... the answer given to me is what I call a spinner... it is a kind of yes-no answer!" The medium's response is mysterious. The fellow might have now been wishing that he had quit while he was ahead. What do these words mean? especially, considering that the girl-in-question really is his Twin Soul, which means that they will one day be together, for a very long time... longer than Time, itself.
While, on the surface, the medium's response could strike us as enigmatic, we might recall our previous many discussions wherein we have discovered that soulmate lovers often do not recognize each other for a time! I will condense a final exchange between the medium and the fellow. He immediately sensed, within his own spirit, the meaning of the "very soft yes!" Despite his many questions seeking reassurance that she still loved him, on another level, he was in no doubt of her love - he had felt it, both recently and even long ago, and knew - his soul told him - that she loved him; however, even in this knowing, he also realized what had happened. He explained to the medium that he was almost certain that her present "yes-no" ambivalence was caused by her early religious training. As Steve has outlined in many of his client testimonies, most people, who become aware of their Destined One, are presently married... to another...
Nice girls don't... Well, it's true, you know... nice girls don't... hey, it's not just that ... but... nice girls, even if they are your Eternal Cosmic Lover; if they labor under old guilt-producing religious teachings; if they are presently with someone else... nice girls, right now, might not be able to deal with this inner conflict... this mental dissonance... the pain and confusion...
And nice girls, in order to survive the mental suffering, and absence... of him... during this present time, might, at times, block from view their Twin Soul... they might fill their lives with busy-ness, all manner of distraction, in order to mute the raging below... the soul's raging, that part of oneself that cannot forget... who he is... even so, the soul is always ready to offer, at minimum, its sometimes-repressed verdict... the very soft yes!
Our questioning friend, the distressed lover, offered these thoughts regarding the state of mind of his Absent One... her feelings of guilt for loving him... his own assessment of the yes-no, spinner-response. The medium confirmed that he was on the right track.
All Twin Souls are Soulmates... but not all Soulmates are Twin Souls In past articles, we have spoken much about soulmate lovers. Actually, the term "soulmate" is a little imprecise. I have often used it in the sense of Twin Soul - but soulmate is a generic term that might include anyone with whom you have a soul affinity: a friend, parent, sibling, anyone. There are many soulmates... but... There is only one Twin Soul, for you, in the universe. I will say more about this in a soon-coming Personal Statement.
This is the title of a kids' book by Neale Donald Walsch. In simple words, it offers a profound truth, one taught for thousands of years by many different religions ... how we come to know, and to feel, our own essential essence as Souls, made in the image of God. And in this experiential knowing, we will learn many things regarding the purpose of Twin Soul love.
A principle of cosmic Duality "I didn't know I was tired until I sat down!" How many times have we said that? The prospects of a little rest throw into bold relief our flagging energy after a time of strenuous work. And so it goes. An interplay of opposing forces helps us not only to know... but to feel... the reality of what we have, and what we are! Walsch is right. We don't really understand what we have, and what we are, until we experience loss; or, come up against its opposite. But Walsch did not invent this idea. It is an ancient precept, taught by seers, mystics, priests, and philosophers for thousands of years.
Could the north-pole of a magnet truly "know" itself, as essentially "north," without experiencing an opposing force, what it means to be "south"? And is it possible for you to really know yourself without interacting with an equal, but counterbalancing, force, a soul-entity, who is your identical half, but also mirror-opposite?
And this system of opposites, this cosmic principle of Duality, is meant to teach us... truly, madly, deeply... in a manner that mere classroom instruction could never approach.
Your Twin Soul, for you, is the ultimate expression of Duality in the universe. Like looking into a mirror, her image will, at the same time, be your perfect soul-likeness; but also, a perfect counterbalancing opposite... of yourself! The Personification of Opposite-Sameness... that's who she is to you! And in this delicious swirl of sweet opposite-sameness - specifically designed, just for you -you will come to know, and to feel, as you have never known, a sense of... yourself... just as the Warm truly discovers itself only by experiencing the Cold!
What is the reason for falling in love? We have asked this question several times. Let's ask it anew, and go a little deeper.
We have discussed those inadequate reasons for love and marriage, ones outlined by Dr. Mortimer Adler... reasons such as... I don't want to grow old alone; I want to love those little babies; I want the financial security of having someone with me; I want the aid and comfort of another to help me in this hostile world. None of these is wrong. Eckhart Tolle puts it this way: "The Ego is not wrong - only unconscious." The Ego simply is, and does, what egos do... all of which manifests the Ego's creed... maintenance and survival, at any cost. If you enter a "love affair" led by the Ego, here is what will happen. Pathologically self-centered, the Ego will filter and interpret all data streaming through the prism of its inwardly-focused viewpoint. This means that if you are looking, let's say, for security in life, when you meet a potential mate, the Ego will not really allow you to see him as the True Person that he is. You will see him only as a means to completing your security-goals. This is also why, as Norma told us, even genuine soulmate lovers, for a time, often do not recognize each other! but see only an Egoic representation of the person coming through the filter: "It's all about me! you as a person are invisible to me, except for the part of you that fits into my story, my narrow wishes!" The only questions a neurotic lover will ask are: "Does he fit into my plans? Does he seem like the kind of guy who will help me get what I need in life?"
Dad owned a 1963 Chevy Belair, something like this one.
My friend Mark Davis, retired minister, recently mentioned that he was leading a discussion group for widowers at a community center. I asked him, "Mark, you've counseled many hundreds of couples in the last 25 years. What is your sense, your estimate, regarding how many of these struck you as being truly in love?" Mark didn't hesitate and shot back, "About 2%!" But then he hesitated and admitted that he was probably exaggerating... on the high side! In the aftermath of an Egoic "love affair," romantic feelings can quickly vaporize - leave as quickly as the second day of marriage, or even before the ceremony - the hapless "lovers," incredulously, will ask themselves how love could leave so soon! Romantic feelings vaporize because the Ego, during introductions, is merely role-playing, attempting to fulfill its neurotic wanting and needing. But it takes a great deal of psychic energy to play a role -pretending to be what one is not, pretending to love when it does not - and after the ceremony, when the Ego has achieved what it thought it wanted, it no longer finds energy to maintain the role of "lover," and reverts to its normal self-centered persona.
The dirty little secret of the Ego is that... love was never there in the first place... and that which they, briefly, if at all, experienced as the thrill of romantic love was the merest glimpse, just a teasing hint, of the Ultimate Reality of Twin Soul Love... which, when it arrives, will be a permanent State of Being... indestructible... as Soul Essence, itself, is indestructible!
But... all of this only analyzes a common dysfunction... what is the reason for falling in love? I'm so glad you asked. As luck would have it, I have been thinking about this and will now share a few thoughts. Dr. Adler in his essay on Goodness speaks of this virtue as that object of desire which we purpose to have, do, or become. Most people focus on having, and owning, good things. The Ego loves to own things because it identifies with things; and, in such process, seeks to fortify its identity through the material world of form.
To become Goodness, one must develop oneself, know oneself, become strong within oneself, irrespective of the strengths of another. And how shall we know ourselves? There are many baby-steps to be taken in this process. But the primary way of knowing the Self is through the process of Twin Soul love! Why is that? Think about the story of the Little Soul. God told him: "Since you cannot see yourself as the Light when you are in the Light, we'll surround you with darkness... You could not know Warm without Cold, Up without Down, Fast without Slow. You could not know Left without Right, Here without There, Now without Then" Your Twin Soul is your Perfect Soul-Likeness! But she is also your Perfect Mirror-Opposite! She is, to you, the Ultimate Expression of Duality, of opposing-complementing forces! She, your Perfect Soul-Image, fulfills the universal natural law of "likes attract"; yet, as your Perfect Mirror-Opposite, she is that mystical Expression of Duality. There is no one like her in the universe... for you! You already knew that... but now you know why. How strange! Her Likeness of you is perfect - she is you in another form! - but this Likeness, at the same time, is also your Opposite! She is, to you... the Sweet Conundrum... the Delicious Zen Paradox... but only... for you!
"...
when you lose a precious love you need to guide you, something
happens inside you... it happened to me..."
And in this mystical process and encounter, we find the answer to the question posed by poets for thousands of years... the true reason for falling in love...
Allow me to develop this idea for you. When I first came to see it, I was deeply moved by the beauty of this mystery. I hope I can make clear what I saw.
Two persons... one individuality Mystics, and Advanced Souls on the Other Side, have made it clear - see their quotes in previous articles - that Twin Souls always retain their unique personhood... yet, in some sense, they, together, create a New Individuality... they enter a State of Being referred to as One Person. What does this mean?
And it is only by Two Destined Ones, Two Equally-Calibrated Soul-Energies, coming together that each will begin to know... experientially know... and feel... the Reality of one's own Being! They have, of course, a natural desire to draw near. Silver Birch, as you might recall, told us that the real romantic love "is so magnetic, so overwhelming!" It is like trying to keep the magnet and the iron filings apart... and good luck to you with that! And in this natural compulsion to draw near... which is a primal desire to reunite, harkening back to their Original State of Oneness, that sense of once having been a Single Entity... in this magnetic mutual drawing of the other, as they come close... they learn things about themselves that only the other can teach!
I'll try to give you an example. We learned from Steve Gunn (P.S. #28) that, very often, once Twin Souls become sufficiently mature, and aware, to be able to catch a glimpse of each other, it is common for them to be unable to be together right now. And, during this time of separation, they will experience a form of pain that will rival, and surpass, any suffering in this life. It's meant to be that way. I recently spoke of anger (P.S. #30) as the Ego's cry of defiance; its resistence to life's lessons. The truth is, for those who have become aware of his or her Twin Soul, we came to this world for the very purpose of experiencing the suffering of being apart. And what are we to learn from this torture? Many things, actually; they are the kinds of things that we cannot learn on the Other Side, a World where there are no barriers and roadblocks to love. But success here is more than geographic or dimensional positioning. When you suffer the absence of that Only One; when you feel as if a Part Of You has been ripped from your side; when you feel the incompleteness, the pain of aloneness - the kind of pain that only she can deliver - you are now ready to learn something about... yourself!
You see, she is so much like you... she is your mirror-image... she is so much like you that missing her is a form of missing yourself... and in this sense of Profound Loss... a degree and depth of Loss, possible only in relation to her... you, inadvertently, might come to know the true meaning of your own Completeness!
It's just like the example of knowing the Warm by having the Cold. Growing up in ND, I came to know what 50 below zero means. But, if I had grown up on a tropical isle, I could little appreciate the dangerous concept hidden in that number.
In this sense of Loss, life will afford you the opportunity to go deeper, as Olivia said, "to dig down low"... and to see, within yourself... just what you are made of... the glory of your own Soul... that you, after all, despite the pain, are Complete... as Iris asserted (P.S. #28), the time of absence will be a time to " make your own music pure"; because, until it is pure, you will not be able to remain with your Twin Soul. Why? As we've discussed, the Ego will drive you away from her! ... sad but true. And I think that when the mystics speak of lovers becoming One Person, they mean to say that the Cosmic Union of Twin Souls - the Union itself - creates, and becomes, a de facto New Person, a New Individuality, a new entity, who enjoys a level of Consciousness, a degree to which each of them, independently, left to private efforts, could never attain! In other words, they need each other to truly see! and to wake up!
We shall be growing in awareness and consciousness for the next million years... and beyond... and this advancement shall be accomplished through that Divine System of Duality... a dialectic interaction with her ... a specifically-engineered program, one uniquely tailored for Two... courtesy of your Twin Soul Lover! Only she can teach you, because only she is sufficiently like you to be able to reach you! Editor's note: Dialectic is an interesting word. It points to a system that believes that everything is made from opposing forces. It refers to a dialogue, a discussion, a process of arriving at truth by examining opposing ideas. This tension of Thesis and Antithesis, of two interacting forces, is resolved by finding a way to blend the opposites, creating a New Synthesis. Many philosophers believe that life, which is constantly changing, finds progress only as the result of this kind of clash of opposites. They may be on to something. The term dialectic, I think, helps us move closer to the reason for falling in love... while she and he are Perfect-Sameness, satisfying "likes attract," they are also Perfect-Opposition, mirror reflections of each other, two halves of a Primal Soul-Singularity. And in their sweet and romantic dialectic interaction, they reveal, to each other, the New One Person, the New Synthesis of Self-Awareness!
Notice the words: freedom from illusion! which means that these Two help each other to see, to wake up!
Twin Souls shall romantically love each other forever because their Union, per se, has nothing to do with momentary emotion, the chemical-feast in the brain, that drives conventional sexual attraction. These Two enjoy a permanent affinity powered by natural law; via enduring soul-energies deep within; by an irrepressible force much like that which holds the proton to the neutron in the atom's core. As Steve Gunn reported, when such Two are apart, the pain of separation - meaning, the compulsion to become one - is constant; just as the proton, with constancy, desires the neutron: "... you just can't get over it ... creates a tsunami of pain... you miss your partner every minute ... a torture of aching and needing... the pain doesn’t lessen... a bereavement... feels as if your heart will burst out of your chest and fly to your true partner... beyond anything experienced before. If you fight it, or try to stay apart, the pain, anguish, and confusion, will show you just how special this bond is."
This kind of pain, for them, right now, is the bad news. The good news is that, later, once they come together, these same powerful forces will electrify their deep feelings for each other... always, without end... These potent energies serve a divine and cosmic purpose.Twin Souls shall romantically love each other forever... because growth in Consciousness continues forever... and the desire to reenter Primal Oneness, with her, never abates... and, through that desire to come close, Two will not only want each other, forever, but will, together, grow increasingly Aware, and climb ever higher toward Perfection of their spirits! It is the reason for falling in love! Isn't all this a nifty little plan. I thought so, too. As I said before, she's such a pleasant travelling companion ... [smile]
Sounds like a nightclub in a questionable district... but it would be rude of us to forget our friends back at the psychic ranch. There are still a few loose ends to wrap up. What does "the deep purple" represent? Dr. Michael Newton (P.S. #3) tells us that soul auras of purple, especially, deep purple, indicate a high level of spiritual maturity. If this is so, regarding our questioning friend, it would explain why he and she are aware of each other as Twin Souls. If you recall our discussions, it's not so easy to find her... because the Ego gets in the way... and it's only the more Advanced Soul who will have starved the self-centered Ego sufficiently to allow her energy-signal to register on his radar screen.
Some of you are asking... how can I find my Twin Soul? C'mon now... you should know this by now... That's the wrong question! Hey, you have to start doing your homework, or I will need to have a little talk with you, just like the one Mrs. Leier had with me... but, I hope you listen better than I did. Asking, "How can I find my Twin Soul?" misses the mark. Contrary to the claims of many websites, you can't find your Twin Soul by directly looking for her! You won't find her "in just seven weeks, for only $29.95, operators are standing by..." It's like looking for happiness. If you look for it directly, you'll never find it. Happiness is a by-product of something else, of the selfless life of altruism. And, likewise, you will never find her, if you seek for her directly. She will finally be found as the Sweet Bonus Prize, discovered via the alternate route of personal spiritual development... of enduring "the long dark night of the soul"... because when the lights start to come on, you'll see everything... including her.
Is there good news? The good news is that one day you will do what you need to do in order to find your Twin Soul. And you'll finally do that when the pain of not being with her grows greater than the pain of preparing yourself to receive her... And what about that unseen "spinner" girl, the one he left behind, so long ago... she, the girl with the "very soft yes"? She is suffering, too. Her awareness of him, at present, might fade in and out... a yes-no response... but, her True Self - who speaks to her in the late hours, in the midnight dreams and confessions, witnessed only by the shadows which haunt a lonely room - that True Self grieves for him, as well. She is doing the best she can in a difficult situation.
But there is good news for her, too. She may linger in this state of repressed grief for some time; and she may come out of it by her own strength; or, he may, eventually, when the time is right, come to her, and rescue her. In any case, someday, when he does come, or she to him, he will fully enliven, and encourage, her soul by offering the Kiss of Life; and, by so doing, will draw her into the Joy of Mutual Presence, their long-buried sense of One Person; and he will convince her, with that Kiss, that the time of trouble - that terrible time of having lost each other - is finally, and forever, past.
Sleeping Beauty, awakened by a kiss from her Only One, offers an excellent metaphor of how Twin Soul Lovers help each other to wake up, to advance, to higher levels of consciousness. A line from an Anne Murray song perfectly captures the essence: "What would it take just to stir your soul... I want to wake you from your deepest sleep!"
Their Twin-Soul love, represented by a "glowing deep magenta-purple," is, to their Spiritual Advisors, an awesome present reality; apparently, given the ecstatic reaction of one who relayed a message, one of mythic proportions...
It is hard to impress Mature Ones on the Other Side, those who see, and have seen, everything; but it seems that the love of these Two is unusual, even by other-worldly standards. Though a consummated reality in that Timeless World of Eternal Now, here, in the "vale of suffering," their love remains unexpressed, dormant, hidden from view; especially, oftentimes, from themselves. It will not always be so.
In that day of perfect ending, of perfect fairy-tale ending, she will no longer whisper a muted and very quiet yes; in that day, her hidden wild-streak of passion, that presently-cloaked font of bubbling joy, reserved for him, alone, will, like Sleeping Beauty, awaken and arise; and, in that day, there shall be an end to equivocating yes-no answers; he will find a most definitive answer to his fevered question; and she shall yet have occasion to boldly shout, with abandon, from the mountain top, for all the world to hear... a full-measured... yesss!
Editor's note, August 23, 2009: I spoke with David, my psychic friend, today. After our discussion group last Wednesday night, we, and a few others, met at a pub and, as it happened, discussed my new P.S. #32 article. Today, David commented that his Guides were telling him that I, essentially and in the main, am correct in my statements regarding Twin Soul love; however, they wanted to modify one notion - they did not like any hint of a reference to Twin Souls as being "separated" or "split" from each other. The sense I received from them, through David, was that Twin Souls, through their energy-link, are as united now as they ever were, as they ever shall be - the limiting factor is our perception, an illusion of separation... well... with all due respect to my elders on the Other Side... I will merely reference a comment once given by Dr. Einstein. He said that the universe itself is a kind of illusion; but then, almost tongue-in-cheek, he added, "however, it is a most persistent illusion!" ... it's sort of like that [smile].
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