June 23, 2009

For many months I have been promising you new information on the subject of soulmate love. Thank you for waiting.

In the next while, in a trilogy of articles, we shall be exploring the following timeless and universal questions...

• What is the purpose of soulmate love?

• Does romance have a future? or will it, for advanced spiritual entities, eventually become passe?

• Why is it difficult to find one's soulmate? Why must we wait to be with her?

• How is it possible for one not to recognize a soulmate? They say she might be around you now; or, she may have been near at one time - how can one be so blind as to not recognize the love of one's life?

• And, even if you find her, why should one expect soulmate love to be enduring? Why will it not suffer diminishment, just as every other seemingly-permanent infatuation has faded?

Art Garfunkel, Second Avenue ... all the things that we felt must eventually melt away, like the frost on my window pane, where I wrote, "I am you"

Editor's note: "I am you" ... Art has borrowed a line from Charles Williams: "Love you? I am you" ... but I don't mind - not only are these three words, I think, among the most romantic every penned, but also come very close to the epicenter of the true meaning of romantic love; yet, they are ironically pressed into service here. These words, "I am you," mean to signify an eternal principle; but, paradoxically, instead of etched in granite, are here inscribed on the evanescent canvas of a frosted pane... haunting. Is love real for anyone? Stay tuned.

These questions should keep us occupied for awhile. In the next few articles I will attempt to offer some initial, albeit partial, answers... all answers are incomplete, as we can never arrive at absolute truth, a precept that shall define our quest now, and always... how can it be otherwise, when one of the names of God is The Mystery (P.S. #37).

The purpose of soulmate love has something to do with the purpose of life...

Hey... what a coincidence... but, anyway, let's go.

If you were to ask the typical priest or minister "What is the purpose of life?" you would likely get responses such as these:

• "We come to this world to learn how to love others. And we do this, oftentimes, by serving difficult people under difficult circumstances. Life is a painful bootcamp for something better."

• Our purpose in this life is to build character. We do this by enduring suffering, trying our utmost to do the right thing, and making the hard choices."

• The big test for us is developing virtues like patience, forgiveness, tolerance, and faith. We have to be vigilant and fight the good fight, always avoiding sin, so that we can complete the marathon-race of life honorably."

I don't know about you... but... I, even I, the farmboy, break out in a cold sweat just contemplating this kind of herculean effort... years of huffing and puffing, straining and groaning, just trying to make the grade.

Granted, there is a small element of truth to the above advice... and yet... on another level...it's all wrong.

The traditional Christian way of life, that of trying very hard to be good, of expending massive amounts of effort, sounds a bit like a trip to the gym, to the weights room, requiring one to benchpress a few hundred pounds! all to develop the firm muscle of character! or so they say...

hey, girl... don't hurt yourself... is this trip really necessary?

Does this Ms. Charles Atlas - all of her straining-and-groaning - really symbolize the Path to Virtue? ... the purpose of life?

Are the clergymen correct?

Funny thing... Jesus seemed to have a different idea... listen to him now:

• "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me, and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me, and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matt. 11: 28-30, The Message

Wow! ... This is such a beautiful translation that I am forced to set aside sarcasm for a moment. How poetically stated: "Learn the unforced rhythms of grace." That is so beautiful!

Some of you are asking, "But, what about trying very hard? What about running the marathon race of life? What about huffing-and-puffing and doing my best?"

Father John and the river

In P.S. #23 I spoke of my Uncle John, the sainted country priest. You will recall that I said virtue flowed from his spirit so naturally... like a river.

No straining. No groaning. No trying very hard.

Just enjoying himself. And enjoying others. All the while treating everyone with authentic concern and respect.

He made it look so easy.

Like the flowing of a river... the "unforced rhythms of grace"; the natural spontaneity of what Jesus called "living water," an artesian spring! a free-flowing, abundant, never-depleting energy, bubbling-up to the surface of consciousness, courtesy of one's own soul!

How does this relate to the purpose of life?

The traditional Christian view of life's purpose is built upon The Big Lie that you are "not enough"!

It begins with the premise that you are a first-class schlepp - that you are a prime schmuck, indelibly marked by some strange disease called "original sin" - something that Adam did to you when you weren't looking! Well, that sounds fair to me...

And if The Lying Teacher (P.S. #21) can convince you to buy that distorted view of yourself, well then, you might also be interested in purchasing our "huff-and-puff-and-try-very-hard" program... just $29.95 in four easy monthly installments... specially designed for those who believe that they will never quite measure up, and for whom God will never quite love enough... hey, who could blame him... such no-goods that we are...

• Editor's note: Grace-oriented minister Malcolm Smith tells the story of one his missionary trips to Africa. He asked the local tribal chief why some of his people seemed to never stop beating on their drums: "The god that we serve really doesn't like us very much. He's too busy. He ignores us. So, we beat on our drums in order to get his attention, so that he will send rain for our crops." Is this not sad? Yet, Malcolm advises that the typical, legalistic, modern church member will operate within the same psychological paradigm! See, we can't just say one prayer and expect an answer, can we? No, we have to get all our friends to pray, too... no, wait, get the whole church to pray... maybe other churches, too... pay for a mass... no, wait, pay for a series of masses, much better... Think about this... be honest with yourself now... all of this, in essence, is merely much beating on the drums... we don't really believe God will hear our one prayer... he's not that fond of us, you know... just a little too busy for us, you know how it is... and we have to sort of get his attention, isn't that right? sort of pressure him to hear us... sigh! Jesus himself warned... "Do not pray as those who do not know the Father; for they think that they will be heard for their much speaking!" ouch!

The truth, the reality, is much different.

Contrary to popular traditional teaching, we are not schlepps, not schmucks (ok, maybe some do a pretty good impression... maybe a little schmuck-lite).

We are divine souls, spiritual entities, made in the image of God. As such, on that level, as an expression of God's own divine essence, we are perfect, incorruptible, wonderful, glorious, and complete!

And this is why the message from the Other Side - and from the great spiritual teachers in our world - is this:

• "Make your request once... ask once... after that, just give thanks that your prayer has been heard... even better yet, ask only that your eyes be opened ... look within yourself, within your own divine soul, and see that all important things for which you seek, all things of enduring value, are already in your possession!"

No need to huff-and-puff

No need to groan and strain.

You've already arrived.

You already have... you already are ... what you are looking for.

As I explained in P.S. #23, this is why Jesus used the analogy of the artesian well...

... a metaphor of our own virtue, our own soul essence, the energy from which will bubble-up to the surface... and this is why Jesus said, "Come to me... recover your life... take a real rest... live freely and lightly"!

And this is why some, like my Uncle John, can make it look so easy to love others! ... like a flowing river, effortlessly flowing!

The problem is that of vision

We already have everything important - we just need to learn how to access it!

We are already perfect in our essential core Being... in our divine souls... we just need to become aware of this!

The term "Holy Spirit" would be better translated, better understood, as "Purified Consciousness" ... seeing things as God sees them! an awareness! a consciousness!

• Therefore, the primary purpose of life might be framed as that of achieving a higher level of awareness... a higher level of consciousness!

What about love?

Some might ask, "But isn't the purpose of life to learn to love? Isn't that more important?"

• Love is more important. Consciousness is merely an avenue to love.

Our problem is not one of inherent imperfection, of intrinsic paucity of love. Hardly. Our very soul essence is love itself... made just like God... we are, in fact, like children made in a Parent's image... and we, in our true selves, are just like that Parent!

What we need to do is not more huff-and-puff to develop love - we already, not merely possess, but are love!

Our problem is that we cannot see this! Once we do see this, once we learn how to access that "artesian spring" of which Jesus spoke, we will find that all love, all forgiveness, all patience, all virtue... will automatically flow from us... naturally... flow like a river!

Again, the critical issue is that of awareness, not lack of supply!

And for the next million years... and beyond... fundamentally, we will have one task... learning to open our eyes... growing in awareness and consciousness!

How does the purpose of life relate to the purpose of soulmate love...

I needed to explain, to review, the above principle because the purpose of soulmate love cannot be understood without first understanding the purpose of life!

Young Rascals, What Is The Reason What is the reason for falling in love, what is the reason for falling in love, is it a place to go when you are feeling low, is it the thing to do, when you are feeling blue... no, it's you, it's only you... tell me, what is the reason for falling in love, what is the reason for falling in love, is it because they say that things should be that way, is it the magic key that opens ecstasy... no, it's you, it's only you...

Editor's note: This is a great, great old song by The Rascals. I've already reported to you Dr. Mortimer Adler's findings concerning the utilitarian, inadequate reasons for marriage, for "falling in love" (P.S. #9). The Rascals, too, very poetically, list most of those reasons here... and they also begin to encroach upon, to hint at, The Answer, the one true reason...

"not that lovey-dovey stuff"

Some time ago, I was listening to a discourse by a lady, a member of the psychic community. She was speaking of soulmates, their purpose, and she wanted to make the point that soulmates come together in order to teach and help each other grow toward maturity... but she was quick to temper her words with this caveat: "It's not about all that lovey-dovey stuff!"

mmmm... is that a fact... you don't say... well, we can hardly wait then...

I learned that she had been divorced, and I didn't need a psychic sense to detect a tinge of bitterness in her voice... I think her own painful experiences were coloring her judgment of this issue.

• Editor's note: I once labored under the misconception that psychic abilities necessarily suggested a mature, spiritually-developed individual. It doesn't necessarily work that way. Psychic gifts are merely a kind of "radio receiver" tuned into the vibrational frequencies of the Other Side. Virtue is not required to make the radio work. The apostle Paul told his church in Corinth, very rich in psychic abilities, that they were a bunch of spoiled-brat kids, always trying to show-off to each other. So, be careful whom you seek out for these kinds of things. Different psychics have different gifts, with different degrees of giftedness; and, some mediums might be spiritually immature. So, check it out carefully.

Well, actually... it is "lovey-dovey stuff" ... very lovey, so lovey... more lovey than dovey... but, I'll award her some technical points - she is quite correct in one sense. Two souls, who love each other deeply, come together to further each other's growth and development.

• And that growth and development primarily centers about helping each other achieve greater levels of awareness and consciousness.

Briefly stated, this is the purpose of soulmate love.

But we will have much more to say about this. Don't go away.

 

The Soulmate Story of Norma and Richard

"I was only fifteen when we were married. Richard was seven years older. We just found it too difficult to stay apart. So, our parents gave us permission to get married. It was the right decision."

Bonnie Raitt, You   ...wasn't that love that we were feeling? - it was somethin', Baby!

With these words, my friend Norma began her story of her life, her 47 years, with her husband Richard.

Richard passed on to the Other Side a few years ago. Norma, now serving in an advisory capacity, continues their work in a church they initiated decades ago.

As reported in other P.S. articles, I have received several noteworthy communications via Norma, the kind of information personally instructive and meaningful, only to me.

I try to meet with Norma every few months. I usually don't ask her questions. I don't want to influence the process. I just listen. Norma jokes and says that I'm "the man who doesn't say much." Actually, I do speak, but only after Norma is finished.

Over the last few years, I have learned that Norma and her husband enjoyed a unique and most wonderful kind of love. I asked her to share her story.

The lovey-dovey teenage-girl within

Norma is approaching age 70. She is a wise and dignified lady. She understands many deep things of the Spirit, how life really works, on this side and the next.

Her normal manner of speaking is one of calm - an experienced, professional tone of voice... but let me tell you something...

• at one point, as we were speaking, as she was remembering, even, accessing Richard's spirit on the Other Side, her tone suddenly changed... suddenly, the professional exterior was gone... and the tenor of this senior lady's voice now exhibited an excitement, almost a breathless quality - frankly, the word eroticism came to mind ... like a teenage-girl, thrilled, anticipating her lover, Norma, now, once more, in the presence of Richard, began to swoon at the very thought of him!!

Bonnie Raitt, You ...when you came back, I felt the beating of my heart

"I am in contact with Richard every day," this psychic lady confides.

I sense that it is much of the day.

"We are soulmates. There is an energy between us, an energy link, that is never severed. And, because of my psychic abilities, I can directly feel his presence; I can often hear his words in my mind. He is always with me!"

Bonnie Raitt, You You were the only one that mattered, then you were gone ... left me alone... thinking of You...

"Even before his passing, we could virtually read the minds of each other." Norma begins to laugh as she remembers an incident. "We were lying in bed one night, and, for some reason, I was thinking of a brass marching band - that music was going through my head. Richard then turns to me and, in a joking way, says, 'I just had that music in my head, but you can finish it now!'"

"No matter where Richard was in the world, I could read his thoughts, and he could read mine. We were always connected... and still are. Even so, we had our problems in marriage. We were both very individualistic and strong-minded."

Norma starts to laugh again, as she remembers one of his playful taunts: "He used to laugh and say that we, as soulmates, are one person - and then he would say, but I'm the one!"

Even as a young teen, Norma explained, she felt such a magnetism toward Richard, so much so, that to be apart from him was physically painful.

I asked her if this kind of high-level attraction continued throughout their 47 years. "Yes," she affirmed, their elevated sense of mutual affinity had continued unabated during their entire marriage! indeed, it continues even now, with Richard in the Spirit World. He is still passionate about her, as she is toward him. This is very clear to her, she knows this.

I know it, too, having seen that starry-eyed teenage-girl of 70, witnessed the breathlessness...

The important point for us

I want to clarify a point. We don't need psychic abilities to find and love a soulmate.

Mind-reading is an optional feature. These things are not the focus of our discussion here.

Norma is an interesting study - for many reasons, of course, but particularly from the point of view that she has no doubt at all regarding her status with Richard. She knows that they are soulmates; as such, Norma is a valuable resource in terms of confirming or denying, from her own experience, the things that I think I know about the soulmate process.

That's not love

I think the main point that I wanted Norma to clarify was this:

"Norma, it seems that soulmate love is not really love in the traditional sense of that term. Soulmate love seems to be an energy, a specific soul energy and soul attraction, that these two share."

I offered to Norma my analogy of the tuning forks (P.S. #13). She had not thought of it that way before but immediately agreed with the principle that I was suggesting. She confirmed my thoughts regarding the soulmate energy link.

"And Norma, it seems to me that the idea of becoming one person with another, with a soulmate, is another way of saying that one enjoys the closest possible relationship with that other - because, it would seem, it's not possible to get closer to another than to become one person with her. Do you agree with that?"

She did agree. And in that moment of agreement, I could sense her excitement, the "Darling, you thrill me" sense of one person, that she was experiencing with Richard, even as we spoke!

She added only this to my now-confirmed statements, to which I also agreed:

"Soulmates are given to each other to grow in agape love, sacrificial love - a gift to each other for their own growth! 

"A soulmate is one you might not recognize at first. She might be around you earlier in life, but you might not see her! You might go away, and come back, and then, with more maturity, more spiritual development, with your eyes more open, all will seem different. And you will finally see her!”

Savage Garden, Truly, Madly, Deeply "... don't have to close your eyes, she's standing right before you...  all that you need will surely come"

Explaining the ineffable

I will frankly admit to you, as I write of these grand themes, it seems to me that anything I say here is inadequate to the task; my words, even to me, convey the sense of falling short. Soulmate love taps into something vast and mysterious, the very energy that sustains the universe... it is the very essence of God:

• Silver Birch: "There is a great power in the universe which has never been subjected to the analytical scrutiny of laboratories, which cannot be resolved by chemicals or by scalpels, yet it is so real that it transcends all other forces which have been measured and weighed and dissected.That love is deathless because it is part of the Great Spirit, the creative spirit of all life, part of the power which has fashioned life; it is indeed the very breath and the very essence of life.

Explaining soulmate love is like explaining what God is... and good luck to you with that... as both are very much part of The Mystery!

Yet, it is also true that some things can be known. And it is those things, few as they are, that I shall attempt to get at. Allow me to also say, before I return to the business at hand, that we shall be held in thrall of The Mystery for a long time to come.

Some people think, "When I get to the Other Side, I will understand everything, all knowledge will be mine." It doesn't seem to be that way... at least, not right away. 

I have learned from the AfterLife testimonies that people over there, especially at the "entry levels," are often just as confused about many of the big issues as we are here! I will speak more of this in P.S. #37. The truth seems to be that, for a very long time to come, maybe 100,000 years, we shall have to live with The Questions!

Our lack of perception and awareness is the limiting factor - in this world and the next. Our souls, made in God's image, are already perfect; and the only difference between ourselves and those considered to be the most advanced spiritual beings is simply a difference in terms of awareness!

Just now, the words of Elizabeth Fry (P.S. #19) come to mind once again:

• Elizabeth Fry: "Nothing is static here, everything has the opportunity for change; and when a person begins to seek, begins to change in themselves, begins to desire things of a better order, so, automatically, gradually, they will find those things – it’s all a state of being, a state of mind. Every existence in which one might find himself is a state of mind, a state of awareness, a consciousness."

Romance: a chemical feast?

Lack of awareness has its consequences.

Spiritual dullness causes people to "settle," to marry the wrong person. That which typically passes for true romance, in our world, is most often nothing more than the ephemeral summer butterfly of aphrodisiac-chemicals washing through the brain. And then, like the summer butterfly, it's all quite gone.

These intense, but short-lived, feelings are merely the shadow of a coming reality... Soulmate Love.

Soulmate love is part of a New World Order; another Dimension of the Immutable; our True Home and Destination.

Aretha Franklin, You Send Me "Darling, you send me, Darling, you send me, Darling, you send me, honest you do, honest you do, honest you do, oh-h-h-h, you thrill me, Darling, you thrill me, Baby, you thrill me... yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..."

Editor's note:  Darling, you thrill me, Darling, you thrill me, ranks among the most erotic moments of musicdom...

When Aretha, in song, offers us the erotic and utterly romantic vision of "Darling, you thrill me, Darling, you thrill me," we must begin to understand such sentiment in a new way.

Soulmates enjoy a kind of "thrill" from each other that extends well beyond admiration of a pretty face or particular body type; beyond appreciation of another's virtue, talent, or accomplishment; beyond enjoyment of her personality, humor, and tenderness. All of these are wonderful, and shall never be without demand, but the kind of "thrill" that immobilizes soulmates, essentially, has nothing to do with that!

"Darling, you thrill me," in reference to soulmate love, means becoming aware of her essential core Being, the glorious wonder of her soul!

This is a true statement... and yet... not even such mystical encounter takes us far enough! the bedrock of that soulmate "thrill" has not been reached, even with that much!

Journey to the center of The Mystery

I have learned some things from the great teachers of history; and from the whisperings of my own soul. But the mystery of romantic love - because it is part of the very essence of God - is almost unknowable.

It is difficult to know how to approach this subject. But I will continue to speak of these things... and maybe, in the course of our discussion, some things will become clearer to you... and when that happens, maybe you will explain it to me.

Emily Dickinson, a favorite poet:

How we blind ourselves to soulmate love

Norma said that, earlier in life, we might have been around that Destined One, that singular Cosmic Soulmate-Lover.

How is it possible that she was not recognized?

Why did one's soul not immediately "thrill" to the intoxicating energy emanating from her soul, an energy uniquely calibrated and fitted to one's own Being?

How is that possible?

First of all, I want to say that Norma's thoughts here make sense to me. I think it's likely that many of us have met, have been around, our Counterparts-in-Love, but without meaningful recognition. Such unconsummated meeting, if nothing else, will be highly instructive to us when we return to the World of Spirit - we will be able to better see the deficiencies in ourselves by means of this failed interaction; a valuable instructional object lesson.

But... hey... for those who are tired of being a textbook footnote-example of thwarted love, let's ask Emily for some help...

What Did Emily See?

Emily Dickinson, unknown to the world during her lifetime, was one those poets of ecstatic vision of whom Dr. Weatherhead (P.S. #13) speaks:

"In some moment of poetic insight he has seen a vision of the infinite... the poet is a teacher in one sense ... but he is not the pedagogue... he exists not to inculcate ideas as a teacher, but to reveal reality."

 

As Weatherhead goes on to say, we are not so much interested in the private opinions of the poet - but we want to know what she saw in her moment of ecstatic vision!

Dickinson's poem #599, for me, becomes more mysteriously beautiful and instructive each time I read it:

There is a pain — so utter —
It swallows Being up —
Then covers the Abyss with Trance —
So Memory can step
Around — across — upon it —
As one within a Swoon —
Goes steady — where an open eye —
Would drop Him — Bone by Bone

• Editor's note: my appreciation to Dr. John Welwood for pointing out Emily's poem

You might recall an earlier statement of mine that finding one's soulmate... finding her... is really more about finding oneself first.

Why is that? and what do we mean by finding oneself? and how does such blindness keep us from the love we seek?

We all deal with pain in life. But Emily speaks of a particular pain here... one so utter!

There is a pain in life, sometimes, with roots in our formative years, that takes away our joy of living; takes away our idealism; takes away our personal sense of being a good person.

This is no ordinary pain... but one so utter.

It often comes about when others hurt us... in a thousand different ways... but, in any case, the ensuing blow to our self-respect... our self-love... swallows Being up.

We are speaking here of a pain that is a primary cause of all of our dysfunctions in life! These words could hardly be an overstatement... because... there can be no greater calamity than to suffer the loss of one's own Being! ... that which swallows Being up.

This Being, now swallowed, is our true nature... the intrinsic goodness of our own soul... made in the image of God... the incorruptible part of us, the treasurehouse of all that is good: wisdom, love, joy, compassion, faith, hope... every good quality, the very nature of God, in whose image we were made! ... yes, that Being! ... swallowed up!

And how is our essential goodness, our innate Being, blocked from expression, swallowed up?

It happens because of the pain, of course. We attempt to protect ourselves from the pain... the pain of unlove... and we do this by employing various defense mechanisms in an effort to convince ourselves that we don't really need love... we lie to ourselves...

All of this self-deception, layer upon layer of it, creates a Great False Self... he or she has many guises; sometimes, masquerading as the person who doesn't need love... a deep Abyss of False Persona... a bottomless pit of massaged and conditioned personality... as we present ourselves to the world, and to our own selves, in various disingenuous forms... different false fronts... we pretend we are strong... steady... anything... as we now seek protection from love... which we no longer trust.

This Abyss, this Great False Self, is quite convincing to all... especially to ourselves... because we envelop it all in a thick covering of Trance... we are now so cut off from our own essential natures that we sincerely believe the propaganda of those early ones who first hurt us... we believe, in our heart of hearts, what they said... that we are no good... that we are not worthy of love... that we deserve guilt, and all manner of retribution... people suffer different degrees of this, but it's to be found in all.

Our Memory of who we really are... that good person within, that soul made in the image of God... that Memory is blocked as we side-step the reality of our Being.

Those who negotiate life while in this neurotic Swoon, might appear to walk in a steady manner... we might seem almost normal and put-together at times... but such steadiness is only apparent, not real... as such composure is played out in that Trance, a state of blindness, and lack of true awareness, regarding the nature of life and oneself... and we find out, very quickly, just how unsteady we are, whenever, as with my Uncle Rocus (P.S. #16), we are threatened in certain hot-button areas... certain hot-button words or situations... those particular areas where we nurse our nightmares of grievance, the movies of past unlove, unendingly looping through, forever playing in, our egoic brains...

Though apparently steady, one in this condition is quite vulnerable... a small puff from the big-bad-wolf of reality will topple him... the smallest introspection... just a bit of honesty... an open eye would drop him... because, if he were to begin to admit, to himself, just how much he needs and craves love; as Jim said, how much he was really hurt back then; if he were to admit to the terrors of unlove lurking in his heart, the terror of losing her... and allow an open eye... the Trance might begin to dissipate... the False Egoic Self would begin to unravel... and that Essential Being of love, once swallowed up by anger, guilt, and self-condemnation, phoenix-like, would begin to heal and reassert itself...

• Editor's note: How I love Emily's writing, her deep insight into life and love.

There is only one prayer

We have seen how the purpose of life is that of waking up! of growing into higher levels of spiritual awareness.

Soulmate love has something to do with this; like the Prince kissing Sleeping Beauty, each will help the other to wake up!

• And if all this is true, then it follows that the essence of prayer, as we discussed above, becomes a request, a continual desire, to reach those levels of increased consciousness.

It's a good prayer to pray for yourself.

But... you know what... for soulmate lovers, there is new concept of "self"! There is a new sense of "one person"! There is someone in the universe who is so much like you... so much in tune with your own soul... that the lines of demarcation between yourselves become blurred! Your names, so to speak, are mutually written on each other's soul.

Your future is bound up with her's. You cannot go back, turn around, or move forward - not in the way that your soul desires to - without her.

And if one of you is a little more spiritually blinded than the other, of the sort spoken of by Emily, then you will have to wait for her; or, she for you; therefore, don't forget to pray for her, as well... because... it's really praying for yourself...

• Cyndi Lauper, Water's Edge: "Oh! I wish you could wrap yourself around me, I am gripped by this loneliness, Oh! I wish you could wrap yourself around me, I'd be released in your tenderness, I'd be released in your tenderness... eventually, life unfurls a path to happiness, so I whisper your little secret, and repeat it under my breath, I'll save it for you in my heart, in case we both  forget..."

A Soulmate Prayer

In P.S. #28 I will speak of Steve Gunn, UK psychic, who specializes in counseling those suffering the trauma of unconsummated soulmate love. Steve has hundreds of clients, soulmate lovers who, for various reasons, cannot be together now, but are aware of each other, aware that something unusual has happened to them... as Steve says:

• "...when separations like this occur you just can't get over it, or move on, however hard you try... creates a tsunami of pain... you miss your partner every minute of the day... a torture of aching and needing... the pain of separation doesn’t lessen... feels as if your heart will burst out of your chest and fly to your true partner... [It] is a relationship beyond anything you will have experienced before."

 
Many mystics advise, given the potent energy-connection between these two, that they, though apart, will influence each other; will feel each other's pain and grief; will even tend to grow and develop toward maturity in a similar manner... and, through their energy-link, as they influence each other, they become more like each other... teach each other... even though, temporarily, they suffer the absence of the other!
 
If you pray for her, she will likely feel your fervent intentions; if you pray for him, he will sense your presence and your positive energy.
 
Steve's clients might number in the hundreds - but we can know that very large numbers worldwide are suffering the absence of a Cosmic Lover. Consider the following to be a model prayer; an outline of the trauma experienced by many. Every situation is different... yet, they are all the same...
 
Talk to her... tell her what happened... pray this way...

A Prayer To Soulmate Unseen

Dear Friend... You utterly captivate me, enslave me; body, soul, and spirit. Freedom, only in this case, I covet not; neither now, nor in the unending future. How can I, Dear Friend? My entire Being is hopelessly entwined with your own, the twain of which is no longer readily discernible. I had thought to refer to this prayer as "Soulmate Unknown"; but, though we have never touched, never kissed, never held each other, I sense that I have known you. I perceive, on some level, that you feel what I feel, even at this moment. 

Mystics suggest that I might have once met you, might have once had you in my life. I feel this to be true. They further insist that we might have become lost to each other... by our own doing, by our own actions and thoughts: egocentrism, anger, willfulness, resisting life and its lessons - all these, they assert, once blinded us to love's wonder; to each other; to our sacred identities. I was not able to receive you... I think I was the culpable one... 

I sometimes sense... I think I know how it started... as you well know, I was not always aware of you, as I am now... something in me said that I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you... you were to stay in your place; I in mine... you know, just be friends... you were not supposed to be a love interest to me... but, even so, our deepest selves, from the start, refused to play those roles... it's not that I didn't try... you know how I would ignore you so...

...yet, during those many years of such blindness, a part of me always knew that I loved you... and I knew that you loved me... there were times when you could stand it no longer... you were not afraid... you sought me out, came to me, wanted to tell me things; but... I could not receive you then... this hurt you... it hurt you because you knew there was life, somewhere, behind my dull and sleepy eyes...

Anne Murray, What Would It Take? "If words won't do it, and words are just a waste of time, We could get right to it, if I could only read your mind. You're just a mystery to me, deeper than the deep blue sea, There must be something that will melt your heart - Baby, tell me just where to start. What would it take to get you closer, What would it take just to stir your soul, What can I do to make you love me, Just the thought of you, Keeps me lying awake, Tell me what would it take... I wanna be the one to change your mind, I think about it all the time. Still waters they run deep, I wanna wake you from your deepest sleep..."

In the hurt of that rejection, you withdrew from me, for a time... but, there were three times, three times, overtly or subtly, when you tried to tell me...

Quantum Leap, "The Leaping of The Shrew" (1992) Al lectures Sam on what her words really mean: "You mean she told you that! That's a very intimate childhood detail! I would never dream of sharing... Look! It just proves that [she is in love with you]."

Dear Friend, how I admire you for your courage; how difficult for you to come to me, as I offered little encouragement... but I want you to know, though seemingly comatose, I always knew, on a certain level, what was happening... my "punishment" today is that my life now revolves around those incidents... What do I remember of them? I remember your Joy! Dear God, you were so happy, so happy, just to be in my presence; you could not hide it... no one in my life has ever wanted me like that... I really have no words to describe it, what you did to me then, but I was never the same after that... even so, it would take me years to stop denying, and to admit, to myself, how I felt about you...

I am haunted by the memory of your joy... moreover, haunted by the sense that you are more like me than anyone else in the world... those three times should have served as confirmation; I should have admitted to myself who you really are to me... but I was not yet able to do that...

The Grassroots, Things I Should Have Said  “I didn't try, I just stood and watched her say goodbye, She closed the door... should have said to her... Girl, I love you... Why didn't I try telling her [that] she was all I had? now she's gone..."

...but, Dear Friend, I would not even know the meaning of love if you had not touched me with your fervent spirit... only you could teach me certain things in life, because only you could reach me...

The Carpenters, Hurting Each Other  "All my life I could love only you, All your life you could love only me"

I'm sorry that I was such a difficult student... sorry for you; sorry for myself; sorry for us... And I presently suffer for that insensitivity, every day, every hour. But, Dear Friend, while I acknowledge my sins, I will not allow myself the luxury of self-pity. I intend to grow beyond what I was then. Dear, the future is a long time...

Savage Garden, Truly, Madly, Deeply "I will be strong, I will be faithful, 'cause I'm counting on a new beginning, a reason for living, a deeper meaning [with you]"

... and, if you are still willing - and I wouldn't blame you if you are not, but, if you're still willing - I will meet you in that future, and I will yet be for you all that you once hoped for.

And maybe you will agree to grow with me toward that future. I am aware that you are not perfect - only perfect for me; I know that you are only human - the only human my heart yearns for; I understand that you are not without failing - the greatest of which, so long ago, was your intention to love me.

But I pledge to you, Dear Friend, that I shall do better for you. I will cast away blindness, and the misdeeds that caused it - with all my heart's resolve I shall do this. I intend to open my eyes, to grow in awareness, my ability to receive you. And if you find your own heart in need of healing; your own heart burdened, tempted, with any bitterness of the past, the painful memory-traces of injury or insult... maybe from me... then, my prayer to you, and for us, is this... Please release your anger, your grievances; allow the spirit of forgiveness to issue from your soul. Please do this, for me, if not for yourself; and, in so doing, heal yourself from any blindness which might separate us and keep us apart. How I miss you, Dear Friend; and have, for so long... you have no idea how long, or how much... 

The Grassroots, Heaven Knows  With a song in my heart And a chance to be yours forever... Oh Lord, Heaven knows How much I love you and How much it shows...

All this is my prayer. And, if you are still willing; if there yet remains, in your heart and voice, any of that tenderness for me - even after such legendary insentience as was mine, and after such long hiatus - I will make to you a sacred promise. Dear Friend, at the right time, this time, I shall be the one reaching out to you. And, this time, this time, I will seek for you. And I will find you, and I will come to you, wherever you are in the universe. And I shall not be turned aside, nor rest, until I have done this...

Elvis Tryin' To Get To You I've been travelin' over mountains Even through the valleys, too I've been traveling night and day I've been runnin' all the way Baby, trying to get to you... When I read your loving letter Then my heart began to sing There were many miles between us, But they didn't mean a thing... Well, there's nothing that could hold me Or that could keep me away from you... When my way was dark as night... When I was trying to get to you

• Silver Birch: "And wherever love exists, sooner or later those who are united by its willing bonds will find one another again despite all the handicaps and obstacles and impediments that may be in the way."

And, this time, you shall feel the force of my spirit, as I, so often, have been blessed to know yours; and, you shall finally know the fervency of my spirit, as I have thrilled to know yours. No more sending you away. No more ignoring you. And, Dear Friend, if you are still willing, I will not let you go. I will not let you go. I will stay with you, and be with you, as long as you want me to, no matter how long that is. And I will help you with your life, and encourage you, and make you happy, and love you, and love you. And I will not let you go.

But, for now, please know that you are never far from my thoughts. The sweetness of your person, the essence of your soul, the melody in your voice, the warmth of your spirit, the magic in your eyes - you are all these - and Life itself, to me. 

All this is my prayer. I have nowhere to go until it is answered; nor do I want to. I cannot imagine Love or Life without you... these Great Universals, for me, are personified... take the form of a Certain Person... are adorned with a particular smile, a particular laugh, a particular spirit... I cannot forget that spirit... therefore, I shall remain - you may assuredly know - faithful to you, in anticipation of seeing you once again... for the first time.

Bonnie Raitt, You   ...keeping me holding out... for You.

Soulmate, Myself

Norma recently told me, a message from my Spirit Advisors, that this past year, this "dark night of my soul," has been a long series of mini-revelations. She is quite correct. I have seen things, so many things, what happened to me long ago, and what it means for my life.

Norma said, relaying a comment from my Guides, like many people, I am often mentally preoccupied; and that my Guides have difficulty planting seeds of thought that might be helpful to me. They said that their best shot at this is just as I awaken or in the half-slumbers of going to sleep.

This indeed is true. So many of my insights this past year have come at those times.

Some months ago, I awoke in the middle of the night and two words were immediately on my mind: Soulmate, Myself. I was somewhat taken aback by this as these stark words strike me as very poetic... sounds like the title of a book. Maybe it will be one day.

But, I thought about those words... and, after a time, I realized something... about the mystery of romantic love that has been on my mind.

Above, I stated that "Darling, you thrill me," in reference to soulmate love, means becoming aware of her essential core Being, the glorious wonder of her soul!

And I suggested that not even such mystical encounter takes us far enough! the bedrock of that soulmate "thrill" has not been reached, even with that much!

Elsewhere I have discussed with you (P.S. #13) that the forces of attraction in soulmate love are part of nature, as the forces that bind the proton to the neutron in the atom's core. There is an energy, a natural force, of the universe, that makes soulmates irresistible to each other. It is a force, one that far supersedes the conventional, and short-lived, attractions of the pretty face; the pleasing personality; the virtuous character - all wonderful, but all quite inadequate to the task before us.

And what is the nature of that natural force, that natural energy, which eternally locks soulmates in wild and mad embrace?

Well... I don't know... but I think I'm getting a little closer to The Mystery.

Bonnie Raitt, You   ...deep in our souls... deeper than we know

I think it has to do with Soulmate, Myself!

Art Garfunkel's song, his words, "I am you," speaks of that universal desire, the soul's longing to become one with another. But this process of "one person" is no mere function of "choice." We might wish that we could love a particular one, feel the ecstasies of romantic love with a particular one, but wishing alone will not create this deep perception of "I am you"; conversely, you will not escape the longing arms of that Destined One (you will not want to escape), even if you once tried running from her.

These things, almost certainly, were decided long before we were born; decided long ago when you and that certain other were created... each of you, calibrated with the other's energy signature... each stamped with "I am you," in reference to the other, even in the "soul nursery"!

Bobby Vinton, There! I've Said It Again! I love you, there's nothing to hide, it's better than burning inside, I've said it, what more can I say, I love you, I will to the end, forgive me for wanting you so, but one thing I want you to know, I've loved you since Heaven knows when, There! I've said it again!

I think Soulmate, Myself has to do with this sense that she will be so much like you, that to meet her will almost be like meeting yourself in another form. A spiritually-healthy person has a good sense of the wonder of his own soul... as such, he will love and respect himself... but what would happen if she somehow were to merge with his own healthy self-image?

If that were to happen, loving her would be as easy as loving himself... it might be the same thing!

• the Apostle Paul: "... no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it... therefore a man shall leave his father and mother... and the two shall become one person... this Mystery is profound." Ephesians 5: 29-32

... to be continued

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