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Word Gems
Part 1
June 11, 2009
F. Scott Fitzgerald once commented: in the "dark night of the soul, it is always three o'clock in the morning."
The Lament (1866), Edward Burne-Jones
One evening in May, I had gone to bed early, but could not sleep. In that twilight world, my thoughts drifted to that long-ago pivotal event in my life, that confrontation with Dad, which I have called "true confessions" (P.S. #11, 12). And, in the darkness, not only of my room, but of the night of my soul, I witnessed, once again, that angry 18 year-old boy, now confronted with a flash of alternate reality - a momentary vision, even a conversation, with my relative, Father John Kuhn, Ma's (P.S. #18) nephew. In "True Confessions," I recounted how Dad unwisely brought me before the judgment throne of the local, dark-spirited, priest-chieftain. If you want to make almost-certain that your most irritated, head-strong, young son will become thoroughly enraged, and leave you, journey very far away, reject you, and not even see you, for years to come, all you have to do is what Dad did to me that day. Forty years after the fact, in the dark hours of that May evening, I am no longer angry. I have not been angry about those past events for some time. But, suddenly, in that interdimensional world of unsleep, my soul serves up for me a vision - an alternate version - what might have happened if Dad had taken me to see Father John Kuhn.
Norma confirms - then you know it's true I try not to allow myself the luxury of "beliefs." I try to follow the evidence, weigh probabilities, accept tentative conclusions - pending further light. During my college years, I took the advice of Dr. Wainwright (P.S. #11) who jokingly said that he had many "boxes stored on the back shelf of his mind, all labeled with question marks," unresolved propositions requiring more investigation. I think that's the right, and honest, approach to knowledge production. But the momentary flash of interaction with Father John seems different to me. It is different from the normal parade of egoic thoughts marching through my brain - it seems very real to me; moreover, I can feel the strength and warmth of his person. I can almost touch him. I know that whatever this experience is, it's very different. I recently met with Norma (P.S. #25). This session with her would be unusually meaningful for me. I received two messages from old friends - one from Felix (P.S. #20, see the final note); and, one from Father John. Norma says to me:
I am deeply moved by this encounter. But not surprised. I have been thinking a lot about Father John in the past many weeks in preparation for this article. And I have sensed that he has been with me, helping, as he can, to encourage me; guiding me, with the development of my thoughts, my writings, and research. Norma only confirms what I had felt, deep within my soul, in that night of momentary vision of Father John.
Forgiveness: The Uncharted World I often mention, to friends, and even those of casual contact, that I am working on a particular article. I must tell you that there has been no subject that has engendered more spontaneous interest than that of forgiveness - even more than the hot-button articles on romantic love! People want to discuss this subject. They have unresolved issues. Their spirits, even their bodies, retain the painful memory traces of past situations and encounters. And I can feel the uneasiness behind their questions. Because this is our "Armageddon," the final battle... isn't it?
A subject of such high moment and magnitude cannot be addressed in one discussion. I hope to bring this subject to you many times in the coming months and years. But, for now, I would like to begin with some things that I've learned so far. I will share with you, in this article, thoughts regarding forgiveness from great teachers - psychologists and philosophers who have greatly increased my knowledge in this area, ones to whom I am indebted... but, I will simply say, that even a short time spent in the presence of a truly spiritual person, one who radiates a spirit of forgiveness, will teach us much more... the essential essence of what we need to know. Allow me to tell you some things about Father John Kuhn... my own cousin... an inspiring example of a man who learned how to forgive - not as a discrete, isolated action, but as a pervasive attitude of mind... he was a man who taught others the meaning of forgiveness simply with his presence.
In an instant, in the darkness, I saw what would have happened to my 18 year-old self had Dad taken me to see Father John. I can feel the radiance of his loving spirit. I am immersed in it. Like floating in a relaxing tropical sea. Such compassion and empathy. Genuine concern. It is warming me, warming the deepest part of me, as the summer sun warms a farmboy working in a hayfield.
I can hear his words... but his words, almost, do not matter, as I am so deeply moved, so moved, by the fervent spirit behind the words. That angry boy is now less angry... the anger is unexpectedly lifting... evaporating... and I am suddenly beginning to wonder what I was angry about... And now, in my flash of insight, Father John's essence, and words, fully come into focus, and enter my consciousness. He totally ignores my angry "theological arguments" - he will not address them, at least, not now. He goes straight to the real issue, the real reason, the core of what he knows is troubling me:
I feel as if I've met God himself. Maybe I have. And I sense that I was given this momentary vision as a gift, as encouragement. Father John knows what's going in in my life, the dark effects, the still-lingering effects, of what happened to me back then; effects from which I have not recovered; and, likely, will not do so, in this life. But I learned something else. It suddenly became clear to me, so clear. I now see that, if this interaction with Father John had taken place in the late 1960s, my life might have unfolded in a much different way! I probably would have lived on the old farm; my children would have grown up there; would have been a high school teacher in town. My questions regarding religion would have remained. And I probably would not have been a true believer; and I might have been reading a newspaper with Doc Goodman (P.S. #12). But I never would have been able to leave Father John ... that good man, that Christ-figure, who loved me. I would have even gone to confession, and a lot more... just to please him! But all of that was not to be. Life would assign to me a different classroom. Before the resentment and anger boiling in my heart would begin to subside, I would be required to "walk the long way home," a journey of over 30 years... those who take a new route in life will see a lot of new scenery ... but, will also miss out on some things... a lot of things... and certain friends... friends, whom, in one's youth, one could not have imagined going through life without...
The Real Issue Is Not Forgiveness Not really. Our inability to forgive is merely symptomatic of a larger pathology. Forgiveness is not the real issue. We might hear comments from people:
These sentiments are noble. But I have learned that effort alone will not allow us to forgive. In fact, effort alone - simply expending more mental energy as one focuses on the problem, on the lack of forgiveness - will make things worse! Here's a clue. Something I learned, not only from the great authors, but, in an instant, from Father John Kuhn.
And without receipt of that sense of affirmation, not in a million years would a spirit of forgiveness issue from that young man's heart!
The "Bad Self" and "The Bad Other" Dr. John Welwood, clinical psychologist, in his book, Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships, looks at an extreme case of anger, an extreme case of self-loathing:
The Scream (1893), Edvard Munch
What kind of self-hatred and anger is required to strap bombs to oneself? How can one love oneself so little as to engage in such acts?
He has written several books on this subject, but I will attempt to offer a capsule paraphrasing of his work: We were made in the image of God. God's very nature is love, and, created in his image, we, too, have a nature that is love.
The foundation, the bedrock, of any psychologically-healthy person is to know one's own loving nature, one's own soul. Yet, most people do not know their own loving natures! most people, since they were little children, to various degrees, have been told that they are not intrinsically good; that they, in their deepest selves, are not love - but inadequate; they have, in fact, been repeatedly told that they are "not enough." And if you can actually convince a young soul that he or she is not enough; that he or she is defective; that there is "something wrong with you"; then that child will begin to build his or her life upon this diseased platform, this vision of diminished self-evaluation.
And all of this misperception of what one truly is - this denial of one's essential nature - creates a mental dissonance, a lack of inner harmony. We become "out of phase" with ourselves. And this illusion, this forgetting of who one truly is, creates, in mild cases, a sense of unease and unsatisfaction with oneself, and with life itself; in more serious cases, there will be a sense of anger, or even rage - sometimes a nonspecific "floating rage" - one might not even know why one is angry; why one has this overriding sense of self-loathing. Welwood calls this self-perception, these dark feelings, "The Bad Self"! We buy into "The Big Lie" that we are not enough; and, in that process, we come to view ourselves as "The Bad Self"! And this becomes part of a personal identity (P.S. #19), an insanity - a warped view of self and life! But the insanity does not stop at this level. Even if we begin to accept the lie of "The Bad Self," on another deeper level, we don't really buy into that propaganda - we know something doesn't add up; on a deeper level, we still sense who we truly are, and we know what's true! We can feel the muted, silent whisperings of our own hearts that speak to us, in the darkness, telling us that we were created in God's own image - that we came from love, that we are love, and that must live in love - and that it is our nature to do so. These faint whisperings issuing from our own souls are meant to prompt us to seek healing; instead, however, in our misperception, so often, we move further into the darkness. We create what Welwood calls "The Bad Other"! We attempt, in a misguided way, to reclaim our heritage as Children of Light; and we do this by looking for someone to blame for our problems! We look for a scapegoat. And we attempt to transfer our own sense of guilt, self-loathing, and self-condemnation to another... we create "The Bad Other"! We all know how that works. And what Eckhart Tolle calls the "egoic mind" seems never to sleep, but constantly seeks to shift blame, to condemn, to point the finger, to attack.
"Father, forgive them, they don't know what they're doing..." You will recognize this as a statement of Jesus from the cross. Notice the implications here. Jesus is saying that those who persecuted him lacked an awareness! a consciousness! They didn't know what they were doing! Eckhart Tolle, in his The Power of Now, comments that those living under the tyranny of the egoic mind, those suffering under the spell of finding "The Bad Other" in whomever they meet, cannot even think rationally.
Tolle's The Power of Now is one of the most important books I've ever read. I encourage you to study this book.
In a very real sense, those living under the rule of the ego are insane. They don't know what they're doing. And while, within a larger view, we are beings with the power of choice, in such demented and debilitated condition, effectively, we are merely "reading a script," a predictable monologue provided by the egoic mind - a tiresome and so-predictable collection of talking-points, such as, "He did me wrong. I'm a victim. I must defend myself. He's The Bad Other. I'm not to blame." This is an old story, as old as history.
Forgiveness means... it never happened... A Course In Miracles (P.S. #12) makes the cryptic comment that to forgive someone is to say that the offense never happened! What does this mean? It means something along the lines of what Jesus said. We generally do not hold accountable certain ones for their actions - young children, those inebriated, the mentally impaired - we acknowledge a lack of cognitive capacity, which reduces culpability. The egoic mind makes people crazy! It makes them so self-centered, so unlike their underlying true natures, that actions in which they might engage while under that dark egoic influence do not reflect who they truly are! That's what Jesus said. Maybe we understand that. But, even if we do, there's a part of us that wants justice when a wrong has been committed. The egoic mind cannot forget what happened and wants compensation. We want our rights! How can we move from this desire for "justice" to Jesus' words, "Father, forgive them"?
He was born an "illegitimate baby." Today, if you were to talk to those who remember Father John, you would hear them speak of his memory in reverential tones, offering the highest level of respect. But his early life was not marked by such adulation. Recently, I was discussing Father John's life with some who knew him well, my "Sunday afternoon Mom," Gladys (P.S. #20); and Helen and Tony (P.S. #8). From them, I learned many things about the childhood of this remarkable man, my cousin. I have shared the story of my dear grandparents, "Ma and Pa," Elizabeth Kuhn and George Marquart (P.S. #18). Ma had a sister, Caroline; Pa had a brother, John. These two unmarried ones conceived a child, the future priest, John Kuhn. It strikes me just now - all these years I hadn't noticed - John's surname should have been something else! He should have been Father John Marquart ! Some believe that John did not want to marry Caroline; but others, with some measure of certainty, attest that John did want to marry Caroline - but the parents, for their own reasons, would not allow this union! We might think this strange, but in those old days of patriarchal family management, one did not easily circumvent the will of THE GRANDFATHER (P.S. #8).
German farming communities, especially those of religious persuasion, are not famous for their warm-and-fuzzy toleration of... anything, actually - ha! There was zero tolerance, particularly, for anything concerning that which a clan's GRANDFATHER disapproved. Immorality was "not allowed" - seriously! Divorce, for example, was not allowed. But, divorce was nothing - just small ND potatoes - compared to being born out of wedlock! The fruit of such activity, the hapless child, this walking billboard as perpetual reminder of our sins, would be utterly despised, much more than the parents. Could there be anything lower on this earth? I mean, this kid would be the personification of sin. Such a poor schmuck! How do you expect to inherit farmland without a family name? Can't you figure anything out? What a no-good!
Plenty of Reasons to be Mad And into such enlightened community discourse and mindset, a tender young one, John Kuhn, without a passport, found himself deposited... ever the object of the askance look ("oh... it's you"); the pointing finger ("look, over there, he's the one"); that suggestive tone of voice ("you know about that one, don't you"). We could go on. Psychologists have studied the lives of felons on death-row; even, the mass murderers of history - the great totalitarian dictators, exterminators of tens of millions. And to this list we shall add our above-mentioned friend, the suicide-bomber. The great majority of these had one thing in common - they had been marginalized, sometimes brutalized, victimized, in their youths. They grew up unloved, rejected, and angry - and spent most of their lives vengeful, prowling the earth, seeking to vent their pent-up negative energy. They had plenty of reasons to believe in "The Bad Self" ... and to create "The Bad Other"! But here's the important question:
How does one learn the true meaning of forgiveness?
Father John Kuhn, age 86, (2003)
the young country priest, age 26 (1943)
Caroline's son, (approx.) age 7 (c. 1924)
A Lack of Forgiveness Begins With Mistaken Identity In Personal Statement #19 we discussed how people latch onto all sorts of external psychological props in an effort to feel better; and, in this process, they create false identities for themselves. When the egoic mind is offended, it cannot simply allow the grievance to flow away - instead, it identifies with the grievance! It builds a monument to the grievance! A shrine. It wants to eternally perpetuate the memory of the grievance, so as to retain evidence of the ego's victimhood!
All of this, or the lack of it, is more readily understood by a real-life example. My cousin, Father John, had reason enough to be angry - with himself, with his parents, with the community, with God, and with life, itself.
Lighting Up The Room I remember a certain incident. I am a young person. I can see Father John now, moving from person-to-person, warmly greeting each one, offering genuine affection to all. He overlooks no one; slights no one; no favoritism with him. He is sensitive to the "outsider"; of course, he is sensitive - how well he understands what it's like to be an "outsider." He is laughing and joking - the way one might act having been reunited with a long, lost friend! With each one! each one! How does he do that? And I can see myself, sitting back, carefully observing him. And I am marvelling at his radiance! This is no plastic politician "pumping flesh" to gather support! Every person in this room knows that this man is the real deal! And it seems that he is actually lighting up the room with that glow of his! that glow of affection! yes, the whole room truly seems brighter now with his presence! I don't know how he does it! And I remark to myself that I am witnessing real charisma!
This Is Not Forgiveness "Ok, that's enough now! Jimmy and Johnny, you just stop that fighting now, and I don't want to hear any more about it!" "Yeah, but he started it! He hit me first." "I don't care who started it! You were both fighting! Ok, now - both of you! I want you to say that you're sorry, and that you forgive each other. Jimmy, you go first!" "Ok... I'm sorry... I forgive you." "I couldn't even hear you - you speak up!" "OK! I FORGIVE YOU!" "See! That wasn't so hard, was it? That's how to be nice!"
Well... some of this might bring back a few memories... you know, don't make me come up there! But did it teach us anything about real forgiveness? The popular concept of forgiveness seems to be something equated with a gritting of the teeth; a burst of will-power; a setting of the jaw; something to be swallowed quickly, like bitter medicine... Do you remember Jesus' men? They fancied themselves spiritual giants in that they were willing to forgive "seven times" ... 'cause that's just the kinda big-hearted guys they were. To this, presumably, with a note of chuckling under his breath, Jesus responded, "seven times? how about, seventy times seven!" What is Jesus' point? Some legalists have interpreted this to mean: "Well, let's see now... seventy times seven... my handy grievance-calculator says that's 490 times that I need to forgive... after that, you're on your own."
Seven, the perfect number The ancients ascribed to the number seven a special quality of wholeness and perfection. The number seven is used over 50 times in the book of Revelation: seven lamps, seven angels, seven vials, seven spirits, seven churches, seven heads, on and on. Obviously, it's a number with symbolic significance... not to be taken literally (P.S. #22). So, when Jesus' men say "seven times," they mean to say, "We will agree to forgive a perfect number of times, a complete number - beyond that, not even reasonable people go!" In other words, they thought "seven" would pretty well wrap the whole thing up.
7 Editor's note: whenever my daughter Sara and I see a large numeral such as this one we often break out laughing - it reminds us of her very early days when I would often watch Sesame Street with her. A classic skit from that time featured a shady-looking puppet, in a trench-coat, accosting another: "Pssst... buddy... ya wanna buy an eight?!" after which he opens his coat to reveal an apparently illegal numeral eight. "Hey, if ya ever wanna know what time you're supposed to go to bed, all ya gotta do is look at this eight..." He had several of these sales points to make, all hilarious... Well, Jesus' men were selling sevens that day...
Jesus' response means: "So, you think seven covers it, huh? Well, how about perfection times perfection, raised by a power of ten!" Clearly, Jesus has moved beyond notions of quantification. Forgiveness is more than numbers and keeping score; more than will-power; more than Jimmy trying very hard... in fact...
The River: All You Need To Know Herman Hess, in his Siddhartha, tells the story of young man who lived during the time of the Buddha. He traveled the country in his quest for enlightenment. One day Siddhartha came to a river. The ferryman offered to take him across the raging torrent. During the trip, the ferryman explained that all important things one needed to learn in life could be learned from the river! Siddhartha decided to find out and spent many years working with the ferryman as he learned the mysteries of the river.
What I saw from Father John Kuhn - the laughing and joking with everyone, treating everyone with respect and dignity - was the flowing of love as a river. It was all so natural. So natural. No effort. No attempt to be a "spiritual giant." No trying very hard. Just enjoying people... and himself. Just naturally flowing love. Flowing like a river.
We would find a natural joy, a natural sense of wonder and awe regarding love and life, expressing itself in our psyches; we would find a natural positive energy bubbling up - like water, from an artesian well, rising to the surface - from deep within the reservoirs of our own divine soul-essence; we would find that this naturally-flowing divine energy -our own energy, the True Person that we are - would so-naturally, without effort, without straining or working, express itself in good-will, a seeking for the highest and best... a sense of forgiveness... for all!
Sister JoAnn and the homework assignment: The Sunflower Recently, I visited with Sister JoAnn Hohenbrink, Ph.D., one of my professors of some years ago. It was good to see her again. Sister JoAnn is very gracious, easy to talk to, with a spark of humor that might catch you off-guard. I mentioned that I would be working on a "forgiveness" article. One of her favorite subjects broached, she immediately went to a bookshelf and presented me with a copy of "The Sunflower." "I have homework for you," she joked, as she requested my review of this work. Though famous and important, "The Sunflower" had somehow escaped my notice, and I was glad for the introduction. Author Simon Wiesenthal, the famous "Nazi hunter" and concentration camp survivor, in "The Sunflower" presents to us what many consider to be an exceedingly difficult moral dilemma - a situation that he, himself, experienced:
Wiesenthal, in the main, listened patiently to the twenty-something Karl, a mortally-wounded SS officer - but, in the end, decided to say nothing, no word of consolation, to this guilt-ridden soul seeking a measure of comfort in his last hours. "The Sunflower" offers 50 short essays, 50 different perspectives, each attempting to answer the question: "What would you do?"
The Sunflower: A Brief Review of The Essays The vast majority, maybe 90%, of the 50 opinions were concerned with questions such as these:
The Sunflower: My Own Thoughts Four essays I particularly liked. Two of them, by the Dalai Lama and his assistant. These men understand the merits of the above discussion regarding the "ego"; "the bad self" and "the bad other"; they also understand the nature of death; the unending evolution of the soul; and the illusory, non-substantative, ephemeral essence of evil - all of which are part of the empirically-based, scientific evidence for the afterlife (P.S. #3). Another noteworthy response, in my opinion, was given by a former Green Beret. His honest introspection informs us that war "amplifies and exaggerates the good and evil we have inside us"; moreover, concerning his time in Vietnam, he admits, "I began to see myself as someone I did not want to be." I was surprised, but most interested, to find a writing by Albert Speer, one-time third in command of Nazi Germany. Speer was the only one to acknowledge personal guilt at Nuremburg. He speaks of his own culpability, that which "cannot be erased in my lifetime"; that, he "can never forgive" himself. "Every human being has his burden to bear. No one can remove it for another."
Tape-Measure Ethics
However, to be frank, I did not enjoy reading the opinions of most of the 50. Within that group, generally, I found a great deal of pettiness, self-righteousness, legalism, narrowness, hard-heartedness... most of them had their tape measures out...
And they wanted to argue about legal rights, justice, sufficient penalty, and adequacy of remorse. In "The Sunflower," you will find much discussion that would fit in quite well in a legal proceeding, in a courtroom... but precious little that has much to do with the true essence of forgiveness. One writer actually stated, essentially, that he would have made sure that Karl would never have left that room; that there would have been one less Nazi in the world... The writer of such vengeance seems to have no inkling of what he is saying... is it one less... or one more? You know... if I ever were to find myself on trial, I should not want to be judged by most of those writing opinions in "The Sunflower." I think I'd rather take my chances with the Nazis... because, at least some of them had admitted to themselves that they were doing bad things; at least Karl was not deceived about who he was and what he had become.
Eye for an Eye vs. Turn the Other Cheek Eckhart Tolle has much to say about the "ego," that self-centered, chattering voice in our heads that forever seeks to defend itself, promote itself, aggrandize itself. Tolle says it's like a child, always wanting its own way, always insisting "it's all about me!" Most of the 50 writers in "The Sunflower" are speaking from the perspective of the ego. And from this distorted view of life, love, and the nature of being, we shall never discover the real meaning of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not about "tape measures." Forgiveness is not about tort law, not about just compensation, not about demanding one's rights. All of your life you've heard about Jesus' dictum, "turn the other cheek" - but, to many, this makes no sense - sounds like appeasement! But allow me to share with you what I learned from great teachers a long time ago about the hidden principle here - it's about putting away the tape measure! In the "Sermon on The Mount" (Mat. 5), Jesus uses the phrase, "turn the other cheek" - but notice the context. He refers to the Old Testament law of "eye for an eye." While the Israelites did not go around putting out offenders' eyes, these words, taken from the book of Exodus, in poetic fashion, refer to proper compensation for injuries sustained. Today we would speak of "suing for monetary damages" - that's exactly the sense of "eye for an eye"; that is, if you suffered an eye's worth of damage, you were entitled to an eye's worth of compensation. All of this serves as background to Jesus' phrase, "turn the other cheek." In other words, Jesus is saying, "You have heard in times past that, as a matter of law, you, as an injured party, were entitled to just compensation, commensurate with damages - eye for an eye - you know... bring out the tape measure... be accurate... demand all of your rights... make sure you get the last nickel... But I say to you now, there will be times, in order to further the greater good, when you will set aside legal rights afforded to you by Justice; and, instead of eye for an eye, I want you to be willing to take another injury or insult - to turn the other cheek - but only if you feel that this will serve a good purpose." Notice how eye for an eye stands as parallel thought to turn the other cheek! The parallelism is a poetic, literary device to heighten the force of Jesus' argument!
When we say that forgiveness must flow like a river... flow naturally... flow unboundedly... we are saying that forgiveness is not about tape measures; not about carefully calculating one's rights. Forgiveness is about unbounded and spendthrift generosity; about free-flowing and profligate good will; about considering what's best for the other - no matter what they do; about abundant and carefree giving, even if they "don't deserve it"; in this sentiment, we come to the very essence and definition of forgiveness... "for-give"... which is, "to give before"!
For-give-ness means "to give before"! Forgiveness makes no sense to the ego... sounds like utter hogwash to it! What drivel! What weakness! "Don't you know that the people will run wild if we institute policies such as these," says the ego!
That's why forgiveness means "to give before"! Now that's radical!
What did Einstein mean? If he were talking about forgiveness and the ego, he would tell us that the problem of forgiveness will never be solved at the level of the ego - because it is the ego itself that has created the problem of lack of forgiveness! Forgiveness can only be understood, and solved, at a level beyond that of the ego. The ego is terrified of forgiveness. Because if forgiveness, in its true essence, were to be implemented, it would mean the end of the ego...
You were made to forgive. You were made to live and breathe forgiveness, in an utterly natural way; so much so, that to do otherwise should be unthinkable to you.
What does all this mean? How can we know forgiveness? And how can it become natural? Look at Einstein's words once more. We cannot solve our problems at the level on which they were created; worse, for many of us, trapped in that hall-of-mirrors existence that is the egoic mind, we cannot even understand the heart of the issue before us. Forgiveness, to the ego, seems an absolutely naive proposition.
Forgiveness Personified I submit to you that one might learn more about the subject of forgiveness by spending 15 minutes in the presence of a Father John Kuhn, than a lifetime of seeking for answers among egoic minds! It is only through the sainted example of one, as Jesus used the phrase, "in the world, but not of the world," that we begin to catch a glimpse of forgiveness' true meaning. As a young person, I was treated to that brief glimpse as I marveled at the loving nature of Father John Kuhn in action.
A Natural Spring, A Free-Flowing Artesian Well. Jesus, the Master Teacher, employed the analogy of "Living Water" to illustrate the positive energy within our own divine souls, which might bubble-up to the surface of our consciousness... but only when we learn how to mute the poisonous effects, the self-centeredness, of the egoic mind. And how is this negative force to be diffused? I will say more about this on another occasion, but I suggest that you read Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now; equally important, another must-read, with an emphasis on historical development, The Jesus Mysteries, by Freke and Gandy.
But allow me to give you another example. We learn, from thousands of AfterLife testimonies, that each of us enjoys the services of Guides and Advisors - ones who have been assigned to each of us. And they monitor and supervise our growth and development during our time in this troubled world. No doubt, the ancient concept of "guardian angel" was based on the reality of our Spirit Guides! Dr. Michael Newton's research (P.S. #3) reveals that our Guides - who once were typical soul-persons, as ourselves, making their way through the difficult human experience - are now highly-developed spiritual entities. They are allowed to serve as our personal Guides because they have conquered the ego - that yapping selfish child's voice in the head, always demanding attention on center-stage. As such, now, without the self-centeredness, our Guides, like firm-but-loving parents, cannot be offended by our antics. They understand perfectly, and empathetically, our frailties and weaknesses; our temptations and passions. They are not shocked by anything. They, in times past, have suffered their own traumas, and are well acquainted with grief and depression. They will never say, "How could you have done such a thing? I would never have done that!" In the distant past, they probably have done that. But now they are emotionally strong and do not need our adulation or thanks to continue their work. All of their efforts and energies are directed toward our developmental success.
I must offer you one more example of this - this notion of forgiveness as "giving before." In the coming year, I will be preparing for you an article featuring the AfterLife evidence concerning those unpleasant places on the Other Side where troubled souls spend temporary periods of time - a few days to hundreds of years - a time of solitude during which ego-driven ones might come to terms with, and suffer their way out of, dark constructs of mind. But in these dank and dark worlds - places of self-imposed personal hell, places constructed by one's own distorted thoughts - we are informed that the Spirit Guides of these suffering beings are constantly monitoring them. The Guides will hover... and wait... always patiently waiting... for that glimmer of decision... a decision by these needy ones indicating that they are ready to seek for help, ready to seek a better way. And these Guides will stand by, invisible to their unappreciating apprentices, always available to offer an encouraging thought of hope; a word of comfort - as much as these terrified ones are able to receive; or, if the time is right, the Guides will appear before these poor souls and begin to explain how the universe really works - that there is hope for everyone; that there is a way back to the Light, no matter how depraved one might have allowed oneself to become. This is how the universe works... hope for all... and aren't we glad!
Editor's note: even as a kid, I knew there had to be a reason why I loved these super-hero comics so much!
Let's summarize a few things before we meet again. Above, I asked the questions, How can we know forgiveness? And how can it become natural? As we become more and more aware of the "tricks" and deceptions of our own egos, its power will begin to fade. As it fades, the Light of our True Natures, that of our own souls, will begin to shine forth, more and more; or, to use Jesus' analogy, like an artesian well, the "living water" of our souls will bubble-up to the surface - a never-ending supply of refreshment to our Beings! And as we experience this "refreshment" from within, we shall be filled... naturally filled... with a sense of wholeness... and peace... we shall find healing for our troubled minds... and from the base of this personal healing, we shall, quite naturally, without even trying, find ourselves able to extend such balm to others ... "giving" even "before" they deserve it, even when we know they'll mess-up again... which is, forgiveness.
I don't know about you, but I don't think I'm ready to be a Spirit Guide quite yet... I may have caught glimpses of the true essence of forgiveness; maybe in myself; more likely, in a Father John Kuhn... but, I think I need a little more time to bake... yet, even so... I also sense that I will be there one day. The world in which we live does not help us very much with this process of enlightenment. I reported to you in Personal Statement #21 concerning the activities of Revelation's The Wild Animal and The Lying Teacher. Our world seems to be filled with various influences designed to keep us on a short leash and in check; to keep us doubting own worth as individuals. All of these negative forces do their part in prompting us to create "The Bad Self," which often devolves into "The Bad Other" - and such untoward process is the fertile soil producing a bumper-crop of pandemic lack of forgiveness. The doctrines of tape-measure ethics; of legalism; of the common and familiar teachings of traditional ecclesia; represent a bastardized version, a mule-that-should-have-been-a-horse, a strange Bizzaro-world story of how things work... ideas and theories of ultimate reality conjured up, in most cases, by history's power-brokers, in their efforts to manipulate and control the masses. As I reported to you earlier, that's what The Lying Teacher does for a living. I have hardly begun to say what I want to say about this most important subject of forgiveness. And others, such as Norma, have submitted to me material for inclusion in this discussion. I intend to speak of these things again. In the meantime, if you do not have one in your life, ask that you might come across a truly spiritual person... because, in a few moments, someone like a Father John Kuhn can teach you all that you need to know about forgiveness... he or she will not own a tape measure... and you will notice how easily goodness will flow from him or her... effortlessly... will naturally flow... Like a river.
Editor's final
note: In P.S. #20 I offered
metaphoric allusion - recently, given support from a friend - to the
orchid, that anciently mysterious explosion of grace and color, as
symbol of ultimate beauty and wonder. See this one here. Notice the
funnel-like entrance to its floral self; an alluring invitation to
THE MYSTERY; a beckoning to enter into a portal of Life... like
Alice summoned to the rabbit hole. Hermann Hesse, once wrote a story
of a boy who, in his mother's garden, while observing delicate
flowers, became enchanted with the marvel of Being. But the boy grew
up. He suffered. He could not forgive. He became angry. And he lost
his way. Later in life, as in the days of his youth in the garden,
his personal darkness was pierced by the shining glory of a most
rare orchid, a beautiful girl, a beautiful person. Once again, once
more, after so long a time, he found himself drawn into that funnel
of timeless enigma, the Nature of Being. There are, for different
people, different precipitating events, different avenues, by which
one might enter a higher consciousness, a knowledge of that Ultimate
Question, the glory and wonder of one's own soul. Such approach
might be found in a baby's innocent smile; a purple sunset; a horse
ride on a desolate prairie; the majestic river; the starry night;
and, most wonderfully, in the soul-embracing affection of that
Particular One; in the softness, the haunting embedded delight, of
her tone, that cooing melody which speaks far more than words; in
those sparkling eyes, eyes containing the entire universe, eyes as
portals of entry to ontological wonder; eyes reflecting Lord Byron's
"all that's best of dark and bright" - those mysterious orchid-eyes
of the Love of One's Life... yes, her eyes. Well... I
invite you to further explore these issues with me in my forthcoming
articles, Personal Statements #26, The Story of the
French Girl, Denise: The Perfect Resume; and, #28, The Perfect Storm
of Ultimate Human Suffering: Exploring Cosmic Meaning in Separation
from a Soulmate Lover… to be released later
in 2009.
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